He Married a Witch
by bluecinderella4
Summary: Loosely based off of "I Married a Witch". If the men in Jeff Winger's family seemed curse to have miserable marriages it's because they are. Now the witch who cursed Jeff's ancestor comes back for revenge on his descendant...and ends up falling in love with him. Pairing is Jeff/Annie but features the group as well. Title taken from movie's working title, rated T to be safe
1. Prologue

**BASIC NEW FANDOM INTRODUCTION: Hi, name's Jenna, how ya doin'?**

**My sister asked me if I wanted to watch **_**Community **_**sometime during the last week of January and…well you can guess what happened. Since that fateful day, I have since caught up on every episode and found myself a serious ship and bromance. I thought as a fan maybe I could contribute something to the fandom and that's why I gave a crappy introduction to you **_**Community**_** fans.**

**Okay so my other stories are movie rip offs adjusted to fit with the canon of the TV show. This one is no exception. Actually because this is a more classic movie that hasn't aged so well, I made quite a lot of adjustments to not only modernize it but to fit with established **_**Community**_** canon in a sort of movie-verse. Fun fact; this movie served as one of the inspirations for the classic sitcom **_**Bewitched**_**- the other movie being **_**Bell, Book and Candle**_**.**

**The plot of **_**I Married a Witch **_**seems kinda basic enough. A puritan is responsible for a witch and her father to be burned at the stake and the witch curses the puritan and the puritan's descendants to have miserable marriages. In present day 1942, the spirits of the witch and her father are released. The witch convinces her father to give her a human body so she can torment the current descendant who is running for governor and about to marry a well-to-do (if not annoying) society girl. However, after a love potion mishap, the witch ends up falling in love him. Simple enough right? Well…there are a few elements that don't really hold up so well today or that get confusing (for me anyway) so I also tampered with the rules of witchcraft so that I can get away with more things while having everything make sense at the same time.**

**I'll go over character junk at the end and the changes I have in mind to feature everyone and fit to canon. Until then, please enjoy the first part.**

* * *

_1693_

The time is early 1693. The location is...well, we can't really be too sure but we do know that it's somewhere in the Northeast. And the popular trend in this time was the 1692 Salem Witch Trials in Massachusetts. This part of future American History was responsible for creating a copycat trend in this now unknown Northeastern location (we're pretty sure it's near Vermont though). In a once populous village, lived a nice little Puritan town with some decent Puritan people. Near the village was a massively huge, seemingly never-ending forest. And somewhere nestled in the forest was a small cottage. Inside that cottage dwelled actual witches led by the warlock Piercinald of the feared Hawthorne clan. Piercinald had taken in the three witches as sort of apprentices and cared for them as if they were his own family.

Of course, to keep up with appearances they tried to blend in with the villagers and gave themselves alternate names. The eldest witch called herself Rose. Rose was the sort of mother figure to the younger girls. She perceived herself to be religious and kind-hearted, although that could easily change if you crossed her. Still, she was usually optimistic and often found things nice. The middle witch was Daisy. Daisy was a beautiful blonde who tried hard not to conform to standards and cared for the environment and creatures in it (which often times annoyed the others). Despite the way she portrayed herself, Daisy wasn't that intelligent and usually made the mistakes. The youngest witch was Violet. Violet was an intelligent, dedicated, slightly naïve, hopeless romantic witch, and Piercinald's favorite. In public, they usually interacted only with each other and made attempts to avoid all others as most people often do in public.

However, this all changed when Daisy caught the eye of one of the village's most promising bachelors. There was an instant attraction and even a talk of a future between the two of them. It was only when marriage was proposed that things took a terrible turn for the spellcasting family.

Piercinald scoffed at Daisy's notion of love. "Oh pleaseth."

"Thou does not know Jonathan Winger as I know Jonathan Winger!" Daisy protested.

"I have heard of this mortal's reputation; he only seduces a young virgin so that he may bed with her."

Rose looked up from the bubbling cauldron. "Without being wed?" Piercinald nodded. "Oh, that is most bad."

"What thou hast heard about Jonathan Winger be untrue," Daisy crossed her arms. "He has promised to wed me on the morrow."

"I forbid thee to marry that man!" Piercinald screamed.

"Thou is not thy true-blooded father therefore thou cannot tell me what to do. And who protests that I am a virgin?"

"Daisy," Violet began, "if thou truly love Jonathan Winger than I see no reason you two not marry."

"Thankest thou, Violet."

"But I must beg thou be most careful for I have heard talk of a witch hunt."

"Violet, those events that occurred ended the previous October in yonder town of Salem, Massachusetts."

"Just be careful Daisy."

"And do not tell Jonathan Winger that thou is a witch," Rose reminded.

Piercinald was surprised with their reactions. "Thou cannot be serious? Thou approves of thy own kin wedding this mortal?"

"Piercinald, thou must remember that we witches be not immortal when we take on the form of a human being."

"Although we magic beings do indeed live forever."

"Why wouldst we desire to?" Violet questioned. "Nothing remains consistent in this world and most magic folk are not as accustomed to the changing times."

Rose raised her eyebrow to Piercinald. "Lest we relive the incident with those prehistoric creatures."

Piercinald threw his arms up in exasperation. "How many times must I keep apologizing for said event?"

"I am certain thou has not even realized that Daisy has fled by this point in the conversation."

"What?" When Piercinald turned around, Daisy was gone. "We are most definitely screwed." Rose and Violet gasped at his outburst. "Oh be not prudes, tis true."

Violet decided to speak up for Daisy. "Perhaps our assumptions pertaining to Jonathan Winger are not even accurate. I feel most confident entrusting Daisy not to reveal our true identities as witches."

…

By the following day, most of the village had gathered in the square as a witch burning was about to occur.

"What did thou say about entrusting Daisy?" Piercinald mockingly questioned Violet. Violet looked at the bales of straw below her feet and said nothing.

Rose turned to Daisy. "We request that thou never do one certain thing and thou could not even handle that task!"

Daisy turned up her nose. "I was under the assumption that Jonathan Winger truly loved me. When he brought up the question of witchcraft I assumed that he was about to confess that he be a warlock or magical practitioner."

"Thou was too blinded by infatuation to notice that the gentleman's feelings for you were false. And why are _we_ even tied to this pyre? Jonathan prosecuted you, and only you, at the trial"

"Because miss big mouth did not want to suffer the consequences alone," Piercinald answered for Daisy. "Even though it be entirely her own fault."

"I did not want to suffer alone!" Daisy cried. "Thou knows what happens to our kind if we are burned to death. Our current bodies cease to be and our spirits are sentenced to eternity entrapped in a magical tomb be it a lamp, a bottle, a mirror, or a spellbook. I merely did not wish to be alone."

"Then surely thou would have guessed that us surviving beings would free thy spirit from entrapment and have a cadaver prepared."

Daisy's mouth formed a surprised 'oh'. "Ah…yes…well it appears as thou I did not think of that."

"Now lava on the other hand wouldst-"

"Hear me, hear me!" Jonathan Winger stood front and center in the square carrying a lit torch. "We villagers are gathered in the town square today to witness the burning of these demon witches and warlock."

Rose gave Jonathan a disapproving eyebrow raise. "I know thou are not calling me a demon witch."

"Hush demon witch!" Rose scowled at him. "And today we commend these heathens back to the hellish realm from which they were spawned!"

"New Jersey?" a confused Daisy whispered to Violet.

"Before I condemn thee back to the Hell from which they spawned-"

"Pray thee I do not have to return to New Jersey."

"-I am obligated to ask if thou hast any final words?" Jonathan eyed each of them individually before settling locking his eyes with Violet. "Tis a pity the most beautiful of creatures be the most evil…especially one with such innocent doe eyes." He slowly made his way over to Violet, their eyes locked on each other's. "Though in my experiences the most innocent and beautiful of face is often the most deadly of women." Violet held back the urge to scream as he came closer to her to whisper. "Tis a pity I did not meet thou first or thou might not be here today." Violet looked down trying to not cry.

"How dare thou speak that way to the most innocent of my kin!" Piercinald stood up for Violet. "You, sir, are the one who has betrayed us."

Daisy turned toward Piercinald. "_Us_?"

"And for what thou hast done I lay upon a thee a curse!"

Jonathan scoffed. "Thou cannot curse the most handsome of the townsmen; especially when one is securely tied to a pyre without thy magic to aid them in their wicked ways."

"Dammit I cannot!"

"You cannot?!" Daisy and Rose were a bit shocked by this.

"The curses I remember require potions. Does thou know how hard it is to memorize those curse words?" The girls glared at him. "Well it is."

Jonathan laughed. "See, thou cannot curse me."

"I can!" Violet's outburst got everyone's attention. "Thou thinks they are God's gift to women, Jonathan Winger?"

"Well, yes actually I am."

"HA! Thou art nothing but a cad who uses thy charm to deceive others to get what they want."

"Can we make this faster so that thou may burn?"

"I shall lay upon thee a curse; a curse in which you and your descendants will forever be doomed to marriages most miserable."

Rose looked at Violet. "That is the best thou can do to the man who is burning us at the stake?"

Violet blushed a bit. "Tis the only one curse I have completely memorized that not require potions. Hence forth, my parting words will be a curse upon Jonathan Winger and all of his descendants!" With her eyes deadlocked on Jonathan, she began to utter the curse.

Jonathan yawned. "Ah, yes well the sun has set; time for thy burning." he lowered the torch's flame on the bales of straw beneath Piercinald and the witches. Once that was done, he stepped aside for a peculiar item and displayed it for all to see. "Behold what our good townsmen have taken from thy witches' lair!"

The townsfolk looked at it in confusion before one random member called out, "Tis a book!"

"Aye, yes, to the naked eye it is a book. But upon a second glance, this book be an unholy book of demon spells!" Everyone gasped. "However, our schoolmarm skimmed the book to a passage on the containment of the evil spirits. I…do not remember everything spoken exactly because there were many words too difficult to understand. Yet I do remember that a spirit may be forever held in a magical possession such as a spell book for all eternity." A townsman raised his hand. "Does thou have a question not pertaining to my social obligations Master Pelton?"

Pelton lowered his hand, but then brought it up again. "Now that thou has mentioned it, what if someone were to open the unholy book?" Jonathan shrugged. "Oh, well that is very reassuring."

"Take comfort my good man. We shall never have to deal with those consequences because three select townsmen, along with myself, shall bury the book in the ground where no one will ever discover it's wickedness."

Piercinald's cough brought attention back to them. "Does thou realize we are still alive?"

"Not for much longer. Besides, if thou truly were magic, than thou would have magically disappeared?"

Daisy let out an angry moan before coughing. "Why did thou not mention this Piercinald?"

"I forgot!" Piercinald confessed.

"He forgot!" Rose repeated. "He forgot and now we are all being roasted in a slow, burning death."

"Daisy was the one who told the burning man about us!"

"Hey!" Daisy was upset by this. "This be thou own fault as much as it be mine."

"How so big mouth?"

As Piercinald, Daisy, and Rose spent their final moments arguing, Violet spent hers quietly uttering the curse. She kept her gaze focused solely on Jonathan Winger and managed to share her final look with him before being completely burned alive.

Thus the spirits of Piercinald and the witches were trapped within the bindings of the spellbook. The book itself was then tightly closed and sealed within a shoebox and buried in an undisclosed location. And true to Violet's word, any and all descendants of Jonathan Winger- no matter where there current location was- lived out their doomed marriages in misery and bitter divorce.

As for the spellbook, it was eventually dug up centuries later. A nervous man came across the book while digging, but didn't open it. Despite his curiosity- the book was a plain cover with no title- he set it aside for later, finished burying the body, and was then promptly captured by police. Unsure of what to do with the evidence, one of the policemen then decided to sell the book on Craigslist for a quick buck.

And this is where our story begins…

* * *

**Yeah, kind of a cliffhanger this is just a prologue. For the record; I have no idea how people talked back in those days so I just made everything all fancy and didn't use apostrophes.**

**Characters and changes:**

**Jeff is a future descendant of Jonathan Winger (and completely identical to him by the way). He's based off of Fredric March's character. However, to fit with canon he'll be a lawyer in a very important case with media attention and not running for governor.**

**Rose, Daisy, and Violet will eventually become Shirley, Britta, and Annie respectively. I've got some stuff planned for Britta, trying to work out a subplot for Shirley, but Annie is clearly gonna be Veronica Lake's character. And yeah, those are all flower names I chose them somewhat out of laziness and I guess in slight reference to something I have planned at the end but I'm not quite sure.**

**Piercinald of the Hawthorne clan is obviously…Chang. No, just kidding it's Pierce. I kinda realized I did a **_**Witches of Eastwick**_** thing (though I've never actually seen the movie) with three witches and a master but at the same time he actually does care for the witches. His character is based off of the witch's father in the movie.**

**Troy and Abed are in here too. Abed is the closest thing Jeff will have to a friend and Troy is Jeff's personal assistant (in lieu of a maid because people I don't think people really have maid service nowadays).**

**Michelle Slater is the woman Jeff is set to marry.**

**Alan Connor is the opposing attorney in Jeff's case.**

**Somehow I'm gonna bring in Chang and Dean Pelton- though I snuck a Pelton in the crowd who's curious about a Winger's social life.**

**This is not set in the Northeast. It's set in Colorado like the show in the city of Greendale (which may or may not be real, I'm still unsure). The book will be transferred to present day (2013) Greendale, Colorado.**

**Well, that's all I can think of so far. As you can see I tried to incorporate humor (and a slight nod to Jeff's special look for Annie) in this chapter but I don't know how I did. Any feedback for keeping in character, fitting the canon, or if I even did something remotely interesting would be nice- please and thank you.**


	2. Expositioner Abed

**Truth be told, I can be a terrible updater at times due to other stuff going on in my life and blah, blah, blah but when I know what I'm gonna do next and I'm super excited for it I try to get it up faster.**

**Plus I honestly have nothing better to do with my life at this moment.**

**Shall we proceed?**

* * *

_Greendale, Colorado: 2013_

"UPS!" the UPS guy called as he pounded on Jeff Winger's door this particular afternoon in early 2013. The pounding ceased when the door was answered. "You Jeff Winger?"

"No," the man shook his head, "but I ordered that package off of Craigslist using his credit card."

"Just sign for the thing so I can leave."

"Cool," he signed for the package before it was thrusted at him. Carefully opening the package as he shut the door behind him, he wasn't surprised to find the unmarked spellbook was now in his grip. "Cool, cool, cool."

"Hey Abed," Abed's best friend- and Jeff's assistant- Troy made his way over to his buddy. "Is that the spellbook?"

"Yep," they were carrying on this conversation as if it was no big deal. "This book should have the answers for getting rid of your cereal mascot related nightmares."

"Here's hopin'."

"But we should open this somewhere secure."

"Why? Nothing's gonna magically pop out at us like in Harry Potter?" Abed shrugged. "That would be both freaky and awesome. It'd be…"

"Frawesome!" the two of them coined a new term simultaneously.

"As frawesome as that Harry Potter thing was something very well might pop out at us."

"Dang."

"There's a legend that a warlock from a feared magical family is imprisoned in this book along with the three witches he lived with."

"Seriously?"

"I did some follow-up research too to find out how that was possible. Apparently if a witch or warlock is burned alive in human form, their spirit is trapped in a magical possession."

"Like a genie in a bottle!"

"Yep! It can be a genie lamp, genie bottle, magic mirror, or spellbook. The only thing that can permanently destroy a magical spirit is lava."

"Lava destroys everything though."

"True; I learned that from both _The Return of Jafar _and the episode of _Sabrina the Teenage Witch_ where Sabrina met her evil twin Katrina."

"That was a good episode."

"I could bring them back to life with a simple spell in here. They should be able to go back to their human form and retain all magic."

"But once they die in the human form from some illness or something they die forever right?"

"Sure, unless they drain a life force."

"Say what?"

"If I resurrect a witch and she gets hit by a car she can restore her life by stealing yours."

"What? Why mine?"

"That's what they usually do. It's unclear what would happen if a witch drains a life form of another witch or warlock but I'm kinda hopin' that happens."

"So why exactly are you telling me this?"

"It's an exposition for our audience."

"Dude, as cool as that seems, our life is not a movie."

"Lenny! Squiggy!" Jeff- who was completely identical to a certain ancestor responsible for the spellbook entrapment of the witches and warlock- made his way over to Troy and Abed. "Which one of you used my credit card to buy something off of Craigslist again?"

"I bought a book that gives advice on curing Troy's cereal mascot related nightmares," Abed explained. "It only cost $6.71 total."

"Yeah, that's great and all but this is one of the few credit cards I own with enough to get me a rented Armani tux for my funeral."

"You mean your wedding?"

"What's the difference?"

"If you know it's not gonna work out then why are you even marrying her?" Troy inquired.

"It's no secret that this case has got some big attention and if I wanna make my client look good, I have to make me look good. Yes, I know I'm physically attractive but it's also about how you're perceived in the public and the good things they think you do. I mean, it's obvious why I'm marrying her. Michelle Slater is a professor at a prestigious university, she's pretty high class, she's attractive, and she's the only one willing to play along with my marriage charade. There's really no other option except Quendra with a 'QU' and the only thing she has going for her is her hotness. Unless you can make the perfect woman for me appear out of thin air then Slater is my only alternative."

"She's picky."

"That's because her standards are way too high."

"Jeff," Abed began, "I don't see the reason for you to marry any woman. Much like the marriage of previous Winger men, it's doomed to end in miserable divorce or suicide."

"Again, this is all about appearances Abed."

"Whatever," Abed shrugged this off. "Listen, there's something we'd like to do here; is there someplace where we can be guaranteed privacy?"

"Yeah, your own apartment. Look, I have to pick up Slater; the two of us are going to court together. Do not do what you're gonna do in my house," Jeff walked away from them.

"He's no fun."

"Relax, bro," Troy smiled, "I know a place we can do this thing." He and Abed did their traditional hand shake.

...

"The Community College?" Abed asked as he stepped out of the car carrying the still unopened spellbook.

"We're actually going where the air conditioning school used to be," Troy clarified. "It's an annex of the school that's been abandoned since Vice Dean Laybourne died in that tragic Freon line rupturing accident."

"Cool."

"I've been in here a couple times before, it's nothing special. I just thought in case we accidentally conjure something with fire we do it here instead of our own apartment or Jeff's house."

"Cool, cool." The two friends made their way into what was once a classroom. "We should make sure all the windows are shut."

"Right," they did just that. "What about the door should we lock it?"

"No, just keep it closed in case there is a fire." Troy and Abed met in the center. "If the legend is true then once this book is opened, the witches and warlock are freed."

"Then we can look up something to stop my nightmares?"

Abed nodded. "Ready?"

"Don't we have to hold hands or somethin'?"

"It's not necessary."

"Can we still hold hands?"

"Okay," Abed and Troy placed their hands in each other's hands. "Ready?"

"Ready?" They both looked down at the book. "Maybe we should each have a free hand so we can actually open the book."

Abed nodded and each of them released a hand. "Ready?"

Troy took a deep breath. "Ready."

Abed gave a quick nod to Troy and cautiously opened the book. Each of them held their breath in anticipation secretly hoping for some cool effects but in the end nothing happened. "Bummer."

"I guess it was just a legend man." Troy was waiting for a verbal response, but the only feedback he got was Abed's eyes widening. Once there was a head tilt, Troy nervously turned around to see what Abed had seen. Slightly panicked, he let out a loud, girly scream and hurried behind Abed for protection.

"I was still kinda hoping for cooler effects."

In view were four wisps of smoke in four different colors; blue, red, yellow, and purple. "EFFECTS!" Troy was in hysterics. "Abed, this is real!"

"I read that they should be wisps of colorful smoke." Abed stood up and bowed to the smoke "Greetings, I am Abed Nadir and I will be your guide to the modern world."

"Oh come on, they're not going to respond."

"Hello Abed Nadir," four new voices simultaneously greeted Abed.

Abed gestured to his startled, wide-eyed comrade, "This is my best friend Troy Barnes."

"Hello Troy Barnes."

"We'd prefer it if you called us by our first names."

The blue wisp moved forward. "Likewise for us."

"You've quickly adapted to modern talk, cool. Who exactly are you guys?"

"You don't know who I am?"

"Nope."

"I am Piercinald of the feared Hawthorne family."

"Doesn't ring a bell."

"Damn."

"Can I call you Pierce instead? It's a more modern name."

"Do what you like there A-bed," Pierce pronounced his name as if he were saying the letter 'A' and the word 'bed'.

"I suppose we'll all be needing modern names then," the red wisp suggested. "Would you like to name us Abed?"

Abed shrugged. "I suppose I could if I knew what you all looked like."

"Then turn us back into our human forms!" the yellow wisp demanded.

"I guess the word please must not be in your vocabulary," Troy muttered.

"You know, we have near perfect hearing and can read minds Troy."

"You know, you can still say the word please."

"I memorized the spell," the purple wisp proclaimed. "It's on page thirteen and it starts in the sixth paragraph. Abed, could you please read the spell so that our human forms may be restored?"

"Sure," Abed flipped to the thirteenth page. He read over something before closing the book and heading to the door.

Troy hurried after him. "Um, where are you going?"

"I'm just going to go steal some clothes from the lost and found. If they don't have any then I'm gonna dig through the clothes donation box at the nearby gas station. You can read the spell if you want."

"Why are you looking for clothes?"

"A theory."

"Of?" Abed said nothing and left. "Alright, so I guess I'm reading the spell." Troy opened to the page. "There are a lot of words here. Are you sure it's the sixth paragraph?"

"Yes," the purple wisp replied, "the one in the fifth paragraph can only do one at a time."

"That's probably why this one has more S's at the end of the words. Okay, I'm gonna read this now…try not to make anything freaky happen."

Nearly ten minutes later, Abed returned to find the room in disarray, Troy cowering under a desk and sobbing, and three out of four naked people trying to cover their shame. "Cool."

"No!" Troy stood up. "Not cool! The room started to shake and everything went all dark and magic beams of light popped out of nowhere and the wisps of smoke became bigger and AHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Hmm," Abed set the clothes on the desk. "I found a bunch of women's clothes in the dean's office and stole a male's outfit from the locker room. I'm not sure what will fit but you should put something on to cover your nakedness." Abed sat down in a chair and tilted his head as he looked at the new people. "I've decide on some names for you two," he pointed to the African-American woman and the brunette. "I'll let Troy name you," this was directed to the blonde. "And because you have some establishment with your name you'll be called Pierce Hawthorne."

The man thought about the name. "Pierce Hawthorne," he tried it on his tongue. "Not bad there A-bed."

"The other names I choose are going to be based on titular female characters with the surnames of famous men." Abed went over to the older woman. "You seem more like a Shirley than you do a Laverne." Abed paused in thought. "And I think the last name Bennett to honor the first celebrity on the Simpsons to appear as themselves."

Troy raised his eyebrow to Abed. "Abed you don't watch those shows."

Troy's comment seemed to go ignored. "Congratulations: your new name is Shirley Bennett."

Shirley smiled. "That's nice."

Abed moved over to the brunette. "This might take a minute. Troy, why don't you name the blonde?"

The blonde let out an annoyed sound. "And why can't I name myself? Is it because the two of you are men and you want to give me an acceptable name for society?"

"Is there a name that sounds like 'bitter'?" Troy asked Abed.

Abed quickly thought that through. "The closest I can come up with is Britta after that water filtering system."

Troy smiled at the blonde. "Congratulations bitter Britta, you have a name."

"What's her last name?"

"Oh right," Troy thought for a moment before settling on one. "Can her last name be Perry after Perry the platypus?"

"I don't see why not."

"Score!"

Britta didn't seem too pleased with this. "So I'm named after a water filter system and a platypus."

"A secret agent platypus."

"I think Britta Perry is nice," Shirley commented.

"You think everything is nice," Britta barked back.

"I know you ain't talkin' to me like that Blondie."

"Am I gonna get a new name too?" the brunette meekly asked.

"How about Dorothy? You know like the girl from the _Wizard of Oz_?" Troy suggested.

Abed inspected her. "She doesn't look like a Dorothy. She looks more like…like an Annie."

"Like the red-headed orphan Annie?"

Annie grinned. "I like the name Annie."

"I thought you would," Abed casually stated before continuing on. "And your last name should be Edison in honor of the Wizard of Menlo Park."

Troy sighed, "I guess I have to remember this. So we have Pierce Hawthorne, Shirley Bennett, Britta Perry, and Annie Edison."

The ladies looked at Pierce for a sign. In response, Pierce shrugged. "Works for me."

"Cool, cool, cool," Abed remarked.

The buzzing of a cellphone encompassed the room, startling the three magic folk. "What is that strange noise?"

"It's me sorry," Troy pulled out his phone. "I got a text and voicemail from Jeff."

"He might need us back at his house for something trivial," Abed thought. "We should probably get back."

"Who is this Jeff fellow?" Shirley asked.

"He's a friend."

"He's my boss," Troy inputted.

"Jeff's an okay guy. At first he might seem like a narcissistic, self-obsessed ass but…I don't know where I'm going with this."

"Will we be staying with this Jeff guy?" Annie inquired.

"Oh yeah we are gonna need a place to work on potions and junk," Britta added.

"NO!" Both Troy and Abed yelled.

"Don't tell me after three hundred and twenty years people still don't like witches?"

Troy began rubbing the back of his neck in anxiety. "Well, it's kinda hard to explain so I'll let Abed tell you."

Abed cleared his throat. "People don't really believe in witches anymore."

"They don't?" the four of them were shocked.

Abed nodded. "And the only time people ever see magic is at a magic show performed by cheap magicians and illusionists. Seeing normal looking people perform magic randomly might scare the public."

"Though some magicians and illusionists are frawesome," Troy interjected.

"If there are any real witches or warlocks they still hide their identities. That's what you guys have to do."

"But we will need a place to live regardless," Shirley reminded.

"Unless you can get yourselves a house or apartment you'll have to stay here."

"And it's safe for us to use magic here?"

"As long as you're careful."

Pierce scoffed. "I don't want to live _here_. I require an actual living residence."

"And how do you expect to pay for an actual living residence?" Troy questioned.

"You let me worry about that. You girls can go with A-bed and A-bed's friend while I find us a place to live."

"My name is Troy."

"Does it really matter A-bed's friend?"

"Um, yes it does!" Pierce chuckled before disappearing in a flash of blue smoke. "Dang! Did you see what that dude just did?"

"You mean this?" Britta snapped her fingers, disappeared in a puff of yellow smoke, and reappeared behind Troy. "BOO!" She sort of cackled as Troy let out a high pitched squeal and jumped.

"We really should get to Jeff's place," Abed reminded.

"Relax, Max, I got this" Britta snapped her fingers and everyone in the room disappeared.

…

The five of them were then transported to Jeff's house. "Cool, cool, cool," Abed seemed unaffected by this.

"That was so frawesome," Troy was mesmerized.

Britta let out an annoyed laugh. "That? That was kid's stuff."

"Can you teach us any of this stuff?"

Shirley's face expressed some regret. "Oh, I don't think we can. You two aren't magical like we are."

"Aw man!"

"But that doesn't mean we can't teach you how to make potions or perform some hexes," Annie interjected. "It just takes a bit of time. I know I would be glad to teach you."

"I think that would be nice," Shirley agreed.

"And it's not like we have anything better to do," Britta added.

Jeff entered the house. "TweedleTroy and TweedleAbed, where the hell are you?"

"He sounds charming."

"Is it me, or does he sound sort of familiar?" Annie headed for the stairs just as Jeff was walking up. Thankfully, they managed to stop before they collided with each other.

And while Annie was stunned to see who she almost bumped into, Jeff was not so pleased. "Who are you and what the hell are you doing in my house?"

"It's you!"

"Yeah, it's me I'll give you an autograph later," he brushed past her and went to Troy and Abed. "There are nearly a dozen media outlets at the courthouse and you two let me leave in _this_ suit?"

"Better than letting you leave naked," Abed didn't say this with emotion.

"Whatever. The press is going to see me with Slater so I need you to go out and buy a fake engagement ring to make this marriage thing look legit."

"You bought yourself a tux but you didn't buy her a ring?" Troy questioned.

"Just find something that looks nice, but costs next to nothing because you two are paying."

"Say what?"

Jeff noticed the other women standing there. "And if you're doing something freaky with these women then do it at your own apartment." He noticed the women glaring at him. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Don't think we don't remember you Mr. Winger," Britta vaguely warned.

"I don't have time to wonder what that's supposed to mean," Jeff headed into his room.

Troy (and Abed) took notice of Shirley and Britta's leers. "Why are you looking at him like that?"

"And how did you know his last name?" Abed inquired.

Britta flashed a sly smiled at them. "Let's just say we have a score to settle with the men in the Winger family."

Troy and Abed exchanged worried glances before Troy spoke up. "When you say 'score to settle' you mean like in video games or somethin'?"

"This don't concern you two," Shirley coldly said to them.

Abed raised his index finger to indicate he was speaking. "But you seem really angry with him and this is the first time you've met him so we're unclear on what score needs to be settled."

Annie rejoined the others. "I don't understand! He's supposed to be getting married and he's not miserable!"

"Actually-"

"Quiet Abed!" Abed said nothing more. "My curse is supposed to be permanent!"

"I guess it's worn off," Britta suggested. "So now what?"

"Ladies, I think it's time we consult the spellbook."

* * *

**A take-charge kind of Annie at the end there, nice. Also realizing I made this more of a Troy and Abed chapter, I hope nobody minds.**

**So the witches are back and they've come face to face with the guy whose ancestor had them burned at the stake. What could they possibly have in store for Jeff Winger?**

**For the record, this chapter is pretty much nothing like the next parts in the movie. Surprising to say it's mostly original- a rare thing for me.**


	3. Better Hair and Gardens

**I have special shoutouts already!**

**First to a nice reviewer **hannahsmetana**. She has been kind enough to leave feedback and has said some really sweet things to help boost my self-esteem and encourage me to update faster than I usually do. And for the record, I'm also surprised how quickly I'm getting things done.**

**Second to my little sister **Tiffany** (she has no fanfiction account). Tiffany- she's kinda popular on tumblr as ****cptnharkness-**** has photoshop and I asked her if she could make a poster for this fic last night. She told me to ask her later and when she got home, she's bored enough to make not one but 5! So that little icon is one of the posters she made. The rest are on my deviantart page or blogspot page. It's seriously the nicest thing she's done for me in the last few years and I'm proud of her and how the pics turned out.**

**Thanks again guys!**

**Now for the next part…**

* * *

"That explains so much," Troy realized after hearing the explanations of Annie's curse.

"Pretty weak curse by today's standards," Abed commented.

"It was the only one I could remember!" Annie protested.

"It was nice of you boys to let us know that the curse is working on Jeff Winger," Shirley interjected. "He is marrying the wrong woman and the marriage is sure to be miserable."

"It would make things more miserable if Jeff actually did fall in love with another woman," Abed pondered aloud.

Troy let out a deflated sigh. "Yeah, but he's too in love with himself to fall for another woman...or man."

Shirley's eyes went wide in both confusion and shock. "Men can love men now?" Troy and Abed nodded. "Lord, it's been a long three hundred twenty years."

A devious thought formed in Britta's mind. "What if Jeff Winger fell madly, hopelessly, _passionately_ in love with another woman but could not marry her?"

"I've laid out that scenario many times before," Abed said.

"Yeah, and wishing on stars don't always come true," Troy added.

"She means a love potion," Annie understood what Britta had been implying. "We have a powerful one in here," she opened the spellbook. "And the best part is once you drink this particular love potion, the effects are irreversible."

"This type of potion is mainly used for good, but I think in Jeff Winger's case we'll make an exception," Shirley hid her wickedness with a sweet smile and innocent tone of voice.

"Yeah, but we never actually brewed the love potion because you had to have the hair of the people you intend to have the potion work on," Britta reminded. "None of us truly loved anyone and we didn't know anyone we wanted to pair together."

Troy made a disgusted face. "Why do you need hair?"

"If the potion's meant for certain people you don't want another person accidentally drinking it or something. If the potion is drunk by a third person then nothing happens and it's as if the potion never worked."

"The ingredients seem easy enough," Annie read over. "I suppose all we need is the hair."

"Whose hair?" Abed pondered out loud.

"Jeff's hair obviously."

"Good luck with that. If there's one thing Jeff takes pride in it's his hair. He called NASA for an explanation when he found what he thought was his hair in the shower drain. Oh, and I know you need Jeff's hair; I meant who will the other hair belong to?"

"One of us of course," Shirley informed.

"Jeff Winger will be hopelessly devoted to one of us and we won't love him in return," Britta seemed proud of this.

Troy was confused. "But I thought-"

"Oh," again, Annie understood. "I understand what's confusing you. It's simple Troy; Jeff will drink the potion and fall in love with whoever the opposite hair belonged to. He'll be the one under the permanent love spell because he's the one who drank the potion."

Britta smirked. "And that's good because he'll have his heart broken by the love he can never have."

"If the potion wasn't intended for the person who brewed it then you have to get both people to drink the potion. But if one of us drank the potion and Jeff didn't then the one who drank it will be in love with Jeff but Jeff won't be in love until he drinks the potion too."

Troy put his hand to his trying to piece everything together. "Witchcraft is complicated."

"I totally understood it," Abed casually spoke. "Let's say you brewed this potion for Levar Burton to love you: you'd put in his hair and your hair. Then Levar has to drink the potion and he'll fall in love with your forever. But because you were the one who brewed it, you can decide whether or not you love Levar Burton. However, if you drank the potion and Levar didn't, you'd be in love with Levar but he wouldn't love you until he drank the potion."

"I get it now!"

"Cool," Abed turned to Annie. "But that still doesn't explain how you're going to get a hold of Jeff's hair."

Annie bit on her nails. "True."

"And in order for this potion to work the hair can't be taken magically," Shirley remembered. "So how are we gonna get a hold of that man's hair?"

"I'm not digging through the garbage again!" Britta decided. "Doesn't the hair have to be fresh anyway?"

Troy cocked his head toward Abed. "Am I the only one uncomfortable talking about Jeff's hair in this context?"

"No," Abed began, "I'm always uncomfortable talking about Jeff's hair."

…

After spending (way too much) time discussing the use of a hair from Jeff's head, the witches came up with what they thought would be a clever plan.

Annie, Britta, and Shirley sat sort of anxiously at a table as the waiter approached. "Hello, I'm Todd and I'll be your waiter this fine afternoon. Would you like to hear our specials or would you like me to come back later?"

"Yeah, go away Todd," Brita ordered.

"I'll come back later, then," Todd left somewhat stung by Britta's remark.

"Ugh," Britta pulled out a miniature crystal ball and Abed and Troy's faces appeared on it. "Guys, are you sure Jeff and his fiancée are having lunch here?"

"_Uh, yeah," _Troy (somewhat rudely) answered._ "I'm Jeff's assistant, he tells me these things. You know, might I suggest you ladies get cell phones so people don't look at us weird when we talk into a miniature glass ball?"_

"_This is way cooler than cell phones," _Abed commented as he waved into the miniature crystal Troy held._ "I prefer face to face conversations; there are much less comedic misunderstandings that way."_

Britta turned off the crystal ball. "I don't know about you but once this is over I could go for a nice, long broomstick ride."

Annie squealed with delight. "A broomstick ride!"

"That sounds nice," Shirley agreed.

"We haven't had a broomstick ride in forever! I've almost forgotten how fun they are!"

"And a much easier form of travel than those modern day horseless carriages." The witches were too wrapped up in their thoughts of broomstick riding that they neglected to notice Todd lead Jeff and Slater to a nearby table Jeff had on reserve. "…and I don't know about you ladies but I just love that feeling when-"

"Winger alert," Britta gestured to Jeff's table. They watched as Jeff and Slater sat silently across from each other- his eyes fixated on his blackberry and her sitting with a menu in her face.

Annie took a quick glance. "Should I do it now?"

"Wait until he gets a little more comfortable. If we do it too soon after he gets here it might raise some suspicion."

"So what do we do until then?"

"Well…" Shirley tried to find the words to say, "…we might as well finish our broomstick conversation."

Britta made the 'tsk' noise as she sucked air through her teeth. "Yeah but talkin' about riding a broomstick isn't the same as actually riding one."

"You got a better idea on killin' time?"

"I do," Annie spoke. "I think now is the best time to decide which one of us Jeff Winger is going to fall in love with."

"You," both Britta and Shirley answered in unison.

Annie gasped. "Why me?"

"You're the one who cursed him in the first place," Britta reminded.

"Yes and you're the one who's going to get his attention while we get the hair," Shirley added.

"Only because you all decided I was the one most innocent enough to pull this off!"

"It's your doe eyes," Britta fessed, earning an agreeing nod from Shirley. "You can easily make the most sweetest faces."

"Really?" Annie smiled and put her hand to her heart. "I'm flattered even though I probably should be offended."

"Slater's heading to the bathroom," Britta pointed out before standing up. "I think now is a great time now that he's alone. Let's just get this over and done with." Annie was the next one up, followed by Shirley. "Make them think we're just three good friends going to the bathroom together."

"Should we fake a conversation?" Shirley asked.

"Good idea, start one."

"Who made _you_ the leader?"

"Please," when the girls looked at Annie, she was looking paler. "I just activated the pale complexion spell and its effects are don't last that long. Go a little ahead of me."

Shirley and Britta did just that. As they neared Jeff, they went about as if they were having a conversation. "And that's why I don't let Pierce near there."

"I know," Britta clearly needed some acting lessons, "it's so hard to trust him or any man really."

"Amen to that!" Shirley faked a (loud) chuckle and Britta attempted to do the same. Out of the corner of their eye, they noticed Annie wink. "What do you think Annie?" Shirley and Britta turned around. "Annie, sweetie, are you okay?"

"Yeah, you look kinda pale."

Annie pretended to pant a little. "Yeah, I'm alright. I probably just need to eat something," she snuck a little peek at Jeff's table. Jeff's eyes were still fixated on his blackberry.

"Oh, okay," Shirley's was good at acting concerned, but not good enough to get Jeff's attention. She and Britta slowly walked ahead and faked some more chatting. Then Annie let out a horrible sounding gasp as if she couldn't breathe, getting just a little more attention including a very brief look from Jeff. "Annie?" Annie collapsed and Shirley caught her and kept her elevated. "OH MY LORD!"

"OH MY GOD ANNIE!" Britta's acting was slightly more convincing because she drew some big attention. Shirley lowered to the ground keeping Annie elevated.

"I'll keep her head elevated, Britta you do CPR!"

"Um, okay," Britta started pounding on Annie's chest. "I don't think it's working!"

"Then do mouth to mouth!"

"Gross, I don't wanna do mouth to mouth! You do mouth to mouth!"

"I'm keeping her head elevated you blonde bimbo!"

"Okay, that was pretty hurtful," Britta's feelings were genuine.

"Quit stallin' and do the mouth to mouth resuscitation."

"Uh…SOMEBODY HELP OR SOMETHING!" Todd dropped everything and rushed over to the scene. "Ew no, not you," Britta pushed him away. She pretended to frantically look around. "Hey you guy," she pretended as if she had only just noticed Jeff, "can we get some help here?"

Usually, Jeff would decline. But because he needed good publicity, this was the perfect opportunity to make him look good. "Yeah, sure," he went over to the women. "What should I do?"

"I think our friend is having an asthma attack and we don't have her inhaler. You need to breathe into her mouth while I do CPR."

"Do I really have to do this?"

"JUST DO IT!" Britta and Shirley adamantly screamed at him.

"Okay! Okay!" Jeff knelt down and started performing mouth to mouth on Annie as Britta pounded on her chest. While he was doing this, Britta and Shirley were exchanging nervous glances as to who was going to pluck the hair from Jeff's head. Britta was nonverbally assigned the task. Slowly, she tried inconspicuously moving her hand toward Jeff's hair. This did not work because Jeff immediately stopped what he was doing and stood up. "Um, hey, whoa, what do you think you're doing?" It was as if Jeff had instincts about his hair.

"I uh…" Britta tried to come up with a clever lie, "…I tend to pull hair when I'm nervous."

"Do you realizes what could happen if my hair was touched? Consider yourself lucky you didn't actually touch it." Annie began to cough. "Oh and see, my work is done."

"I think a true gentleman would make sure she's okay."

"Pfft, a _true _gentleman maybe."

"Humor us jackass; we're having a bad day."

"Fine," Jeff knelt back to Annie's level. "Hey, are you okay?"

Annie tried to catch her breath. "I think so," she let out a small laugh, "the one time I forget my inhaler and this happens."

"You know, it's probably a good idea to go to the hospital."

"We walked here," Shirley quickly lied.

"I've got a car," was Jeff Winger about to do something chivalrous for another human being? "I guess I can drive you there and make sure a doctor sees you; I mean, you still look kinda pale."

Annie tried to stand up. "Really, that's not…" she fell over again, but this time Jeff was there to catch her. "…it's not necessary."

They stared at each other for a moment before Jeff broke the silence. "I insist."

"I am feeling pretty dizzy."

"You could barely stand up Honey," Shirley pointed out.

"Are you sure you can manage a quick walk to this guy's car?" Britta asked.

Annie freed herself from Jeff's grasp and stumbled as she tried to walk. "I think I can." She took a few more steps before nearly falling over again.

Like the last time, Jeff caught her. "Here," he scooped her up in his arms, "I'd feel a little better knowing you got to the hospital in one piece."

Annie smiled. "My hero." Jeff carried Annie out of the restaurant.

"Shirley," Britta began, "which spell did you use to get Jeff to take her to the hospital?"

Shirley turned to Britta. "I didn't use any spell. I thought that was you."

"I think he's willingly taking her."

"Must be some ulterior motive in there somewhere."

"Or maybe we could accept the fact that he's being a true gentleman."

"Wait, do you think he recognized us from earlier?"

"Doubt it. He might've said something if he did. The man probably wasn't paying any real attention when we first met him earlier."

"There might have been a chance that he did recognize us, but didn't say anything."

"But then why would he have helped us in our fake plan?"

"Good point; and you have to give major credit to Annie for stepping up her acting game."

"I have to admit, that was convincing. Well, I suppose it's best that we meet up with Annie at the hospital."

"What about the hair?"

"I'm sure Annie can manage to get it without magic," by this point the women were outside the restaurant.

"Travel by broom?"

"You read my mind."

Britta and Shirley each made sure the coast was clear before they both whistled and called out some made up sounding word, "ROMBO!" in unison. Magically, two brooms flew over to them.

Shirley giggled. "Ooh, we've still got it." She and Britta made sure everything was safe before they mounted their brooms and flew off in broad daylight.

"Jeff!" Inside the restaurant, meanwhile, Slater had returned from the bathroom. "Oh come on, not this crap again!"

…

On the other side of town, Pierce stood outside a beautiful Victorian-like house. "Yes, this will do nicely." He looked at the bare lawn. "I'm going to need to have the girls plant a garden eventually. Yes, this place needs a garden. Oh, it could also use a few friends," he zapped his fingers and three garden gnomes appeared. "Afternoon gentlemen."

"_Hey Pierce."_

"_How's it goin' Pierce?"_

"_Yo, yo, yo Pierce in the house!"_

Pierce let out a small laugh. "Oh, stop it boys. Well, what do you think of the new place?"

"Excuse me," the actual owner of the house stepped outside and spoke in a British accent. "May I help you?"

"Yes, you may leave for you are trespassing on my property."

"Your property?"

"Yes, this is my house."

"The hell it is you wanker! This is my house and it has been for the past five years."

"Very well, I shall keep you on as my butler Mr…what is your name my good man with the strange accent?"

"Listen here you- it's Duncan, and I'm British- this is my house and you're trespassing on my property and if you don't leave I shall call the police."

"Alright, alright there's no need for authority figures. Why don't we go inside and discuss this like gentlemen," Pierce led Duncan inside the house for some friendly persuasion. Not even two full minutes later, Pierce stepped back outside alone. "I knew he'd see things my way." He reached for his miniature crystal ball and tried to contact the witches. "Oh girls, I've found us the perfect place to live."

A cat came over to the open doorway. "Meow!"

"Look," he turned to the crystal ball to a black cat in glasses wearing a sweater vest, "I even got us a cat; his name is Duncan."

"Change me back you crazy old loon!"

"And he talks too!"

* * *

**See, look I managed to include Duncan! I was gonna add another scene but it would've been much too long so I got this little idea with Pierce and Duncan at about three in the morning and worked it in here. I also got an idea on how to work Chang and Dean Pelton in here but I don't know where to officially bring them in. Oh, and Todd's in there too!**

**In the movie, the witch (Jennifer) got her body by being born of fire; meaning her father decided to burn down a hotel and she went into the hotel and magically gets a new body. I'm still unclear on how she found her body- whether it was created or she stole it from a woman who died in the fire- but it didn't make sense. So I created that hair loophole in the love potion and that ruse as a first attempt to get the hair. I tweaked that spell so that if say someone else besides Jeff drank the love potion, no one would fall in love with anyone and the potion just didn't work. Yeah, I hope I didn't confuse anyone. If I did, the answer to all your questions is magic.**

**I know some of you are wondering when the actually title will come into play and if they do get married. My answer to that is MAGIC!**

**MAGIC!**

**See, it works as an answer to pretty much everything and often gets people to stop questioning you.**

**Huh, I think I'm also referencing **_**Sabrina the Teenage Witch **_**with the talking black cat. Ooh, and a chapter title reference to _Better Homes and Garden _magazine. If you catch any other references to magical movies, TV shows, or books let me know. And yeah, I'm sure at one point or another something **_**Hocus Pocus **_**related might sneak up in there.**


	4. Might as Well be Less Miserable

**I don't know about you but I reread the last completed chapter and I could not help but laugh at Todd trying to do good but gets rudely pushed aside by a member of the study group. This show has some established traits or gags and I do try to incorporate them. I also try to write chapters so that it's easy for you to picture them in your head like a little movie as I often do, but that's beside the point.**

**A little temptation is a good thing so can I tempt you in saying that this chapter that does feature some solo Jeff/Annie interaction?**

**Tempted yet? Well, read on…**

* * *

Even Annie was unsure if Jeff had an ulterior motive. Jeff was seemingly kind enough not only to drive her to the hospital, but he waited for the doctor with her (and he signed himself as her emergency contact).

"Thanks again for waiting with me," Annie thanked as he sat in a chair and played with his phone.

"Hm?" Jeff looked up at her. "Oh, yeah, yeah no problem."

"I'm not stupid you know; I know you're a lawyer in that important case. Are you sure you're not helping me for good publicity?"

"As tempting as the good publicity is I do harbor some sort of humanitarian instinct deep inside me."

"_Way_ deep inside."

"I just wanted to make sure you're okay."

"Well, that's nice of you Jeff Winger."

"Thank you…sorry, I didn't catch your name."

"Annie. Annie Edison."

"Thank you Annie Annie Edison."

Annie couldn't help but giggle at that. "But be honest, would you have done what you did if your fiancée was watching?"

"My fiancée?" It suddenly dawned on Jeff. "Oh crap, Slater!" He stood up and grabbed his jacket. "I have to get back to my fiancée."

"But-"

"Don't worry, you seem fine."

"Jeff-"

"I'll send you a get well card or something," Jeff hurried off.

Annie folded her arms and slumped back onto the bed with an angry huff. "What a jerk." There was a tapping on the window. "Britta?" Annie got up and opened the window. "Aw, you guys went flying without me?"

"You really shouldn't worry about that; we still don't have his hair," Britta informed. "But Abed gave us another idea."

"You see," Shirley started, "Abed told us Jeff is very picky about his hair that when he thinks something's amiss he'll automatically comb or brush it."

"So you have to keep him occupied while we get the hair from the brush or comb."

"Well Jeff was my ride and now he's gone," Annie pointed out.

"That doesn't mean you can't find another means of transportation."

Annie slyly smiled. "You're right." She whistled. "ROMBO!" A broom flew over to her. Annie excitedly hurried toward the window, but her excitement then turned to dismay. "You guys, that window isn't big enough for me to fly out of."

"I'll take care of that, sweetie," Shirley waved her hand and the open window expanded so that it became big enough for Annie to fly out of. "Problem solved."

"Yay!" Annie couldn't contain her excitement as she happily mounted her broomstick and took off.

"I'm sorry you had to hear I was here from that creepy waiter," Jeff was leading Slater toward Annie's room. "This girl couldn't breathe and I took her to the hospital," he held out his arm in display without even looking in the room.

"Uh-huh," Slater looked over the room again, "are you sure you're not the one who needs to see the doctor?"

Jeff peered into the room. "What the…where the…" he got a look at Slater's angry face. "I swear she was here a minute ago!"

"Sure, Jeff."

"Michelle-"

"This case has got you all worked up. Why don't you go home and get some rest?"

"Good idea," because he was in public he leaned in to kiss her.

Slater denied him this public display of affection. "Don't even think about it Winger," she coldly told him before storming off.

…

Deciding to follow through on Slater's advice, Jeff ignored all planned responsibilities and drove back to his place expecting to take a brief rest and clear all thoughts on what had just transpired. However, it seemed there wasn't going to be much chance of Jeff getting any rest when he saw what, or more appropriately _who_ was standing at the top of his stairs. "What the…how the…why…did…what…how…" he was at a loss for words.

Annie smiled. "What's the matter Jeff? Cat got your tongue?"

"Why are you here? Why aren't you at the hospital?"

"I didn't like it there."

"But how did you get here so quickly?"

Annie turned her head a bit at the broom standing a few feet away. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"How do you even know where I…wait, I remember you."

"I would hope so after what happened at the restaurant."

"No, from before the restaurant; I was coming up these stairs and I almost ran into you."

"Oh that's right. Good thing we didn't actually run into each other or that might've been messy," Annie sat at the top of the bannister.

"What are you doing?"

"Wouldn't want to accidentally bump into each other on the stairs again," with glee, she slid down the bannister and when she reached the end she enthusiastically jumped off and landed in front of a horrified looking Jeff. "You really should try that sometime."

"Uh…" a speechless Jeff tried to piece everything together.

"Anyway, I'm here because I just thought I'd give you a proper thank you for what you did."

"What exactly do you mean by 'proper thank you'?"

"Is sex always the first thing that comes to men's minds?"

"Usually."

"No sex." Jeff made an 'eh' noise and shrugged it off. "I wanted to give you this," she handed Jeff a closed ring box.

"Wow, usually it's the guy who does the proposing but I like your style." He opened the ring box and his eyes came across an antique looking ring. "Is this a purple diamond and why?"

"While it is purple- and purple's my favorite color by the way- I don't think that's a diamond."

"No, I meant why are you giving this to me?"

"My friends and I were here earlier Jeff. We heard how you didn't get your fiancée an engagement ring. Consider this a thank you present for what you did for me."

"I can't accept this," he handed the ring box back to her.

"But it's a gift."

"Annie this must have cost you a fortune."

"It didn't, I promise."

"Where did you even get this ring?"

"Pierce gave it to me. One day he just took me aside, gave me this ring and told me I was his favorite and that I deserved it."

"Is Pierce an ex-boyfriend?"

"No, he's the closest thing I have to a father."

"And he's _not_ dead?"

"Believe me, it would take a miracle to get Pierce to keel over and die. Please take the ring and give it to the girl you love, I insist."

"Well alright, thank you Annie."

"You're welcome Jeff."

"Hey, can I get you some coffee or something?"

"No, I'm alright," Annie began wandering around the downstairs. "This is a nice place you've got here."

"This was my uncle's house. The poor bastard left it to me when he died."

Annie stopped when a painting of a man eerily similar to Jeff Winger caught her eye. "This painting included?"

Jeff walked over to her and the painting. "Creepy isn't it?"

"Is this supposed to be you?"

"Hell no, the forehead's too big. This is actually an ancestor of mine."

"Jonathan Winger."

"You must have good vision; usually you'd have to walk right up to that ugly painting to see his name on the frame. This was painted in 1693 and has been in the Winger family ever since."

"He looks just like you."

"Only with a bigger forehead."

Annie gave Jeff a glancing inspection. "Hmm, if you say so."

"Wait a minute, what's that supposed to mean?"

"Do you love Slater?"

"Okay that quickly went off topic."

"Well, do you?"

"Where did this question even come from?"

"I saw how you two interacted at the restaurant."

"We didn't interact."

"Exactly! And if a man did plan on getting engaged he would already have a ring prepared would he not?"

"Ah, but it doesn't necessarily have to be a ring does it not?"

"Plus I'm pretty sure Slater's not her first name."

"No, it's Michelle."

"Then why do you always call her Slater?"

"Because she doesn't seem like a Michelle."

"That seems like a ready-made excuse."

"I can neither confirm, nor deny that."

"Just answer the question Jeff. Do you love Slater?"

"You know, you're the first person to ask me this question."

"I am?" Jeff nodded. "But that still doesn't answer whether or not you love her."

"I don't."

"Are you only marrying her for appearance sake?"

"Honestly, yeah."

"If you don't love her, then why are you marrying her?"

"Because I know that no matter who I marry I'm going to be miserable. No Winger man has ever had a good marriage. If it doesn't end in bitter divorce or suicide the poor bastard lives out the rest of his married life in misery- much like the uncle who left me this house."

"How do you know that's for certain? Nothing is set in stone Jeff."

"Winger men are naturally blessed with good looks, a special charm, amazing hair, a good sense of humor, and natural wit. While these traits are always consistent..."

"Sure they are."

"No need to get formidable. Look, I lost my train of thought; did you get the point I was trying to make?"

"Yes."

"So I might as well marry someone I don't love and that way there's a chance I'll be less miserable."

"Who knows what life has in store Jeff? Maybe something will change your mind."

"Doubt it." They heard stomping coming from upstairs. "Did you hear that?"

Annie realized the stomping was coming from Britta or Shirley. "Nope."

"I could've sworn-"

"Hey Jeff, I think there's something in your hair."

"What?"

"Yeah, it looks like a piece of fuzz or something," she went over to him as if she was about to touch his hair.

"Ah, ah, ah no need for touching," he backed away. "I'll just clean it out myself."

As Jeff headed for the downstairs bathroom, Annie quickly hurried upstairs where Britta and Shirley were waiting. "I know you guys are impatient but he's going to brush his hair now so just wait a couple more minutes."

"Pierce crystal balled us," Britta informed.

Shirley nodded in agreement. "He says he's found us a house and a cat."

Annie raised her eyebrow in confusion. "Pierce likes cats?"

"It's some guy Pierce turned into a cat," Britta showed Annie the image of the cat taken from the message Pierce had sent out to them. "We have no idea what he's done but we have to get back to him before he gets out of control with his magic again."

"And you know he will unless we're there to stop him," Shirley reminded. "He's like a magical man-child that needs constant supervision or else he'll get everyone in trouble."

"He's a magical warlock, he's proud of it, and if we're not there to stop him from constantly using the magic he's gonna blab it to the world. Shirley's gonna go on ahead and meet up with Pierce…"

"Shirley's gonna do what now?"

"…while I sneak downstairs unnoticed and get the hair."

"Did you make some kinda subtle fat joke?"

"Once that's done you and I will catch up with them and brew the potion there."

"Seriously Britta, who died and made you the leader?"

"Hey Annie, you still here?" it sounded like Jeff was done.

"I'll be down in a sec!" Annie called back to him before lowering her voice to Shirley and Britta. "Britta's plan is our safe bet. Shirley, you go back with Pierce, and Britta you use one of your quick teleportation spells. I'll create an exit excuse. Go!"

Shirley and Britta disappeared just as Jeff came into view. "Giving yourself a grand tour there Annie?" he asked.

Annie just stifled a laugh. "Yeah. I had to take care of something in the…the uh bathroom."

"Uh-huh."

"Well, this visit has been fun."

"You're leaving?" Annie slid down the bannister and greeted him at the bottom like before. "Okay, can you seriously never do that again?"

"I've got a life too you know. Are you gonna miss me?"

"I'm certainly not going to keep you from doing what you have to do."

"I should say the same for your trial."

"My trial?" Jeff slapped himself on his large forehead. "Right, I have to get to the courthouse."

"I'm certainly not going to keep you from doing what you have to do," she headed for the front door. "Until we meet again?"

"_If_ we meet again."

"I've got a feeling we'll be seeing more of each other than we think," Annie flashed him a quick smirk. Jeff didn't say anything, but he just looked at her. Still, there was something about the look that kept Annie lingering for a few seconds longer; it was as if it was a special look just for her. "Right, I'll see you around."

"Yeah," he watched her as she left. Once she was out of sight, a small smile crept on his face.

…

"You cannot do these things Pierce!" Shirley was yelling to him as Annie and Britta entered the new place- now with Jeff's hair. "What if someone comes looking for this poor man? We can't just tell them our warlock mentor turned him into a talking cat!"

"Oh, do you not want him to talk?" Pierce was being serious. "I wouldn't mind making him silent; his British accent is both annoying and fake."

"I am really British you twat!" an exasperated Duncan cat reminded.

"Oh…go eat a bird."

"I had planned on having chicken for dinner but that's not going to happen is it."

"Bah!"

Britta proudly ran over to Shirley clutching the hair in her hand. "I got the hair!"

Shirley clapped her hands with delight. "Ooh, that's nice."

"What else do we need besides Annie's hair?"

"Are you sure you still want me to do this?" Annie questioned them.

"Yes, especially after that little scene at the restaurant earlier. You are a natural for this Annie."

"Yeah but what if I actually fall in love with him?"

Annie and Shirley exchanged glances before bursting into laughter.

"What's so funny?" Pierce hadn't been paying attention to their going-ons.

"Nothing," Annie solemnly stated before walking away from the still laughing Shirley and Britta.

Pierce followed her. "Come on and tell Old Uncle Pierce what's troubling you sweetheart."

"Shirley, Britta, and I ran into a descendant of Jonathan Winger."

"Oh?"

"Troy and Abed gave us the idea to not only have Jeff Winger be in a miserable marriage, but have him madly in love with someone who wouldn't love him back."

"I take it that it would be one of you girls?"

"Me. I also had to create a ruse to get a lock of his hair and he was nice enough to pretend to save me and take me to the hospital."

"Oh please tell me you're not actually falling for someone directly descended from the man who had us killed?"

"I was sure I wasn't but…"

"But?"

"…he gave me this funny look."

"Like funny 'ha, ha' or..."

"I can't really explain it. Pierce, what if I'm falling for him?"

"Trust me Annie, you're not."

"I'm not?"

"You're not. I know it, and so do Britta and Shirley."

"But why-"

"You always were the one to get swept up in the romance of things so you got swept up in the romance of this. Believe me; you do not have any real romantic feelings for Jeff Winger."

Annie gave Pierce a hug. "Thank you, Pierce."

"Anything for my favorite witch."

"Uh ladies," Shirley had managed to regain composure, "where's the spellbook?"

Annie remembered. "Oh my gosh we left it back at Troy and Abed's apartment!"

"Well we have to go back and get it."

"Shirley," Britta began, "we can't waste time. The hair stays fresh for thirty minutes and we still don't have all the ingredients."

"Then we'll have to brew the potion at Troy and Abed's!" Annie decided.

"We might as well; we don't have anything here, not even a cauldron," Shirley pointed out. "I suggest we three ladies go to Troy and Abed's and brew the potion there."

"But we can't leave Pierce alone," Britta reminded.

"He'll have Duncan Cat to keep him company."

"You're seriously going to leave me alone with this lunatic?" Duncan Cat angrily inquired.

"You bore easily," Pierce insulted the cat. "I'd leave this house within five minutes because you're so boring."

"The hell you will!" Britta objected.

"Then I'll just go with you ladies."

"Plan B," Shirley waved her hand.

"What just happened?"

"Barrier spell."

"I can easily penetrate that," Pierce opened the front door to leave, but an invisible force kept him from going outside. "Hey!"

"A barrier spell that only the spell caster can penetrate."

"You're no fun either Shirley!"

Shirley let out a small giggle. "Come on ladies, let's pay Troy and Abed a visit."

…

"You sure we shouldn't just give it back to them?" Troy fidgeted as Abed read through the spellbook the witches left behind at their apartment during their last encounter.

"We will eventually," Abed assured. "We still need to find the spell to get rid of your cereal mascot related nightmares. Rest assured us keeping the book from them doesn't necessarily make us the bad guys. There may come a point in time where the spellbook is needed and neither Shirley, Britta, Annie, nor Pierce can use it and it would be up to us to save everything."

"Dude, this is not a movie! I know like it might seem that way because we unleashed some olden day witches but this is real life."

"Hmm," Abed was unaffected by that remark. "This part with just us shouldn't even matter; it's only featured to remind the audience what happened to the spellbook. It also may or may not be foreshadowing, I'm still unclear."

"Part?" Troy looked at Abed with the utmost confusion.

"You shouldn't question me and just go with everything."

A sudden tapping noise started Troy. "Is someone at our window?"

Abed went over to the window near the fire escape. Sure enough the witches were there. He opened the window and greeted them. "Hello ladies, thanks for knocking."

"We thought it would be rude of us to just pop in unexpectedly," Shirley explained as she stepped in first carrying her broom.

"We need our spellbook," Britta informed them as she stepped in next holding her broom. "We've got Jeff's hair and we need to put it in the love potion within the next fifteen minutes."

Annie entered last with her broomstick in her hand as well. "We don't really have the necessities back at our place to brew the potion anyway."

"You guys found a new place?" Troy excitedly asked.

"We'll explain later," Shirley hurried over to the spellbook and searched for the page. She quickly glanced at the spell. "Alright so we got the hairs now all we just need-"

"I took care of the ingredients," Abed pointed to a bunch of products on the kitchen counter beside a cooking pot. "Once I found the names in the spellbook I googled what kind of products carry what you need and I supplied them for you."

"How nice; thank you Abed."

"No problem. Troy and I don't have a working fireplace so you're going to have to use the stove for fire. I'll preheat it for you."

"So how long does the potion take to make?" Troy inquired as Abed finished preheating the stove and led Shirley to it.

"In all honesty it depends," Britta truthfully replied. "I mean, we have to get everything right."

"And you have to wait at least twelve hours to let it settle before you can mix the potion with any liquid," Annie added. "If we time everything right, Jeff won't be able to drink the potion until late tomorrow morning."

"That might pose a bit of a problem," Abed suddenly spoke. "Tomorrow is an important date in the trial that's key in deciding who the jury will side with. It starts at eleven."

"Then we'll need to work fast," Shirley interjected as she began to boil water. "Britta, Annie, get over here and add those hairs."

"So it doesn't matter what order the ingredients go in?" Troy asked for clarification.

"No, just so long as they go in there. Though for guaranteed results it's best to add the salt near the end and make sure the hair is no older than thirty minutes."

Britta dropped Jeff's hair in first. "It's in."

Annie grimaced as she pulled out a lock of her hair and dropped it in the pot. "Mine too."

There was some awkward silence before Troy made a noise. "So…" he also tried to break the silence, "…now we wait?"

Britta nodded as she kept her eyes on the pot. "Now we wait."

More awkward silence. This time, Abed broke it. "Anyone else wanna watch _Inspector Spacetime_?"

"Who's he?"

Troy put his arm around Britta's shoulder. "Oh Britta, there is so much to teach you."

* * *

**Boy that was longer than I anticipated. But hey at least this chapter included everybody. And I love that Abed can break the fourth wall without actually having to break the fourth wall (hint, hint)**

**And if you guys could send well wishes to my dad. I don't see him a lot but I just learned from his sister-in-law (my Aunt) on Facebook that he needed emergency surgery. It was gonna be Monday, but it got moved up to today. He's in recovery now but…you can never be too sure how things will go. I love my dad but he's not the perfect picture of health you know and it sucks that I'm his only daughter and I can't be up there to see him- plus I only found out yesterday.**

**Honestly, I have nothing more to say. However, in the next chapter the love potion will be finished and ready to drink. Anyone excited for that? I think if I play my cards right Chang and the Dean will be in the next chapter too. I wanted to end this on a more happier note so that's why I shared this info.**


	5. Something in the Water

**Thanks for the well-wishes for my dad. He's in recovery, but in a lot of pain and gonna be in for another week (he also said he can't do any heavy lifting for a month). I told you readers this not only because I'm worried but in case something happened and I wouldn't be able to update this fic. So if something does happen during recovery or if my family surprises me and drives me up north (or both) I don't think I'd be able to get to a computer and upload a chapter. I've been getting in the habit of uploading a chapter a day and if I suddenly stopped I wanted you to know the honest to god reason. Trust me; I do this even when I have writer's block. If you care enough for this story and wanna know why it's ever delayed I'll give you the honest truth. Thanks again for caring guys.**

**But I think the only way I can truly thank you guys is with a chapter I'm sure you've been anticipating…the chapter containing the first use of the 'F' word. Oh yeah and the chapter where Jeff's supposed to drink the love potion.**

* * *

Drinking a potion is sure as heck easier than making one. Following each instruction carefully and adding various ingredients at specific points took up the first seven or so hours (though time would have been cut drastically if they had a large cauldron over a fire). Then of course the potion had to settle for at least twelve hours. However, the witches forgot to mention that while the potion was settling a certain measurement of water had to be added every hour. Troy and Abed were also generous enough to donate their time and energy to help.

So you can imagine why a sleepy Troy was stumbling in the kitchen for coffee at nearly ten in the morning. He was continuously yawning and struggling to keep his eyes open. And, of course, the potion was settling beside the coffee pot in a mug advertising _Troy & Abed in the Morning_. Naturally, Troy's choice of mug this morning was a duplicate mug. He set an empty mug beside the mug with the potion and poured his coffee.

Once that was done, he turned around to face the other tired looking people. "Anyone else want some coffee?" No one said anything. "I'm only gonna ask once in case I need make another pot." The only response was Britta tiredly swatting her hand at him. "Whatever, I'm too tired to deal with your silence," without actually looking in the mugs, he picked one of them up.

This time he got a response. Everyone was suddenly alert and had instantly stood up in a panic. "NO!"

This caused Troy to spill the contents of what was then determined to be his _hot_ coffee. After a loud, long high pitched scream the girls managed to breathe a sigh of relief. Troy on the other hand was crying. "Why are you laughing at my misfortune? This is so hot!"

"We're sorry Troy," Annie apologized. "We thought you were about to drink the love potion."

"You really should've chosen a non-identical mug," Abed commentated.

"Though on the upside, you're awake," Britta snarkily commented. Troy continued to cry and bemoan about the burning. With a sigh, Britta snapped her fingers and a cloud of falling snow appeared above Troy's head. "Chill out, Troy." He let out a contented sigh as the cold touched his hot body. "So how long as that been settling?"

"At 9:57 exactly it'll be thirteen hours."

"And then we can go?"

"Jeff has to be there by eleven so he has a routine: he'll wake up at ten, call us to get over to his place with breakfast, hit the snooze, wake up nine minutes later, watch TV until we bring his breakfast, eat breakfast while watching TV, shower, brush his teeth, check himself in the mirror, and leave. Usually, these things happen much earlier in the morning but we make sure he's up before noon even when he doesn't have plans."

"We always go to Tim Horton's because we get coffee and donuts," Troy inputted.

Britta looked at him confused. "Who's Tim Horton?"

"There is so, _so_ much to teach you."

The alarm on Abed's watch went off. "Fifteen seconds til 9:57," he went into the kitchen and prepared the water. He kept track of time before adding the water to the potion. "I think we can take this to Jeff's house now."

"No coffee or donuts?"

"We don't want to take any chances by putting the potion in anything else besides water," Shirley explained as she waved her hand and made the cloud of snow above Troy disappear.

Abed nodded. "So we're going to go to Jeff's house and make an actual breakfast with water as a drink instead of coffee- that way we can put the potion in the water."

"You're so good at explaining things Abed."

"It's a gift. We should get going if we wanna make it to Jeff's before there's any traffic."

Britta did a cheshire-cat grin. "We have another alternative. Ladies."

In perfect harmony, each of them whistled and called out, "ROMBO!" And (as expected) their brooms instantly flew into their waiting hands.

Even though he was impressed, Abed lacked the proper emotion. "Cool, cool, cool."

Troy did show the right emotion of excited surprise "That's so frawesome! What did you guys shout out? Rombo? Is that like some kinda dance, like a romantic mambo?"

"I assume it's the spell to summon a broomstick. It's obviously an anagram for broom."

"Pfft, obviously," Troy spelled it out in his head and on his fingers to make sure it was right. "Oh right, it totally is."

"Okay, we'll meet you there."

"What? I thought we were gonna ride on the brooms?"

"You can if you want to," Annie assured. "And if you'd like, you can ride your own brooms."

"Can we?"

"Yeah, sure," Britta responded. "This is a spell anyone, even mortals, can do."

"Really?"

"By saying Rombo the broom is automatically enchanted."

"Frawesome!"

"Cool," Abed whistled. "ROMBO!" A broom from out of nowhere flew over to him. "Cool, cool, cool."

"I'm not implying anything but I'd like to know this for future purposes or in the event that the day ever comes when I can't do this; can anyone do this broom thing even if they can't whistle?"

"Sure they can," Shirley answered. "They just have to say 'Rombo venire."

"How do you say that last word again?"

"_Vin-ear-A_," Shirley pronounced. "Like the first part of vinegar…"

"One of the ingredients in the love potion," Abed randomly pointed out.

"…then like the word 'ear'."

"The part of the body that hears."

"…and then like the letter A."

"Put it all together and you get _venire_, which is Latin for 'come'."

Troy was impressed. "I'm learning more than I ever did in high school."

"This stuff seems like filler for length purposes. Can we go to Jeff's now?"

"First we need to hold the potion with something secure," Shirley reminded.

"I've got some Tupperware I've borrowed from Troy's Nana."

Troy did a double take. "My Nana loaned you Tupperware, when did this happen?"

"When I asked her a few months ago; she automatically said yes because she likes me more than you."

"No argument there."

Abed poured the potion into a Tupperware bowl and sealed it with the lid. "I can still hold this in my hand and not fall off the broom right?"

"Abed," Britta began slightly exasperated, "what part of enchanted broomstick don't you understand?"

"That still doesn't explain if I'll fall off if I don't hang on to it."

"No Abed, you won't fall off."

"Cool, cool."

Troy's phone rang. "Guess who wants their breakfast?"

"We better get over there fast."

…

"That was one of the most frawesomest things ever!" Troy proclaimed when he entered Jeff's house and threw the broom aside.

"Try not to overdo it with the word frawesome," Abed carefully set his broom aside.

The door to Jeff's room was heard shutting as Jeff made his way down the stairs in his bathrobe and boxer shorts. "Should I be weirded out that you guys are here early?"

"Should we be weirded out that you're in your bathrobe?"

Jeff was a bit freaked to hear a woman's (Britta's) voice and quickly closed his robe. "Ren, Stimpy, why didn't you give me a heads up that you were bringing other people?"

"It was kinda last minute," Abed quickly lied. "They wanted to come to this part of the trial."

Annie stepped into Jeff's view. "I hope you don't mind."

When he saw Annie, Jeff tied his robe strings tighter. "Annie, hi."

"Told you we'd see each other again."

Shirley came into his view. "We also thought we'd make a nice, healthy breakfast for you on such an important day."

"Please don't," Jeff objected.

"We insist," Shirley led herself into the kitchen with Britta and Troy following.

"She's not gonna poison it is she?"

"Why can't you ever appreciate a nice gesture from a woman?" Annie inquired with raised eyebrows. "We're even nice enough to serve you breakfast in the living room."

"I always eat breakfast in the living room."

"Tsk," Abed disapprovingly shook his head, "the life of a bachelor."

"But I thought this bachelor was about to be married?" Annie corrected.

Jeff clapped his hands together. "How about some TV?"

Meanwhile in the kitchen, Shirley had quickly zapped up an easy breakfast of cereal, toast, and grapefruit. "Cooking is much easier this way."

Over by the counter, Britta had finished pouring the potion in a glass of water. "The potion is ready." She set the water by the plate designated for Jeff.

"Hey, can I get some bacon and eggs?" Troy's question came out of left field. "Maybe a cherry Pop Tart?"

"I thought I'd whip up some…" Shirley waved her hand and a plate of a new food appeared, "…flapjacks."

"I love pancakes!" Both Britta and Troy agreed simultaneously as they helped themselves.

"Nice to see there's a common ground for you two. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to serve them their breakfast and then pretend to cook some bacon." Shirley carried two plates into the living room. "Britta, could you carry the drinks please?"

"But pancakes!" Shirley's icy glare was enough to get Britta up with some reluctance. "You're not the leader either you know."

In the living room, Annie and Abed sat on the sofa while Jeff lazed in his recliner and watched TV; empty table trays were waiting in front of Jeff and Abed. While watching television was a somewhat mundane thing for Jeff and Abed, Annie was completely transfixed- having never seen a television before. So instead of being able to watch TV in peace, Jeff had to listen to Abed's monotone answering Annie's numerous questions.

"Okay Abed, but how-"

"MAGIC OKAY!" something inside Jeff had snapped as he stood up in an exasperated rage. "The answer is magic!"

"But-"

"MAGIC!"

"I don't think that explains-"

"MAGIC! The answer to everything is magic, end of discussion."

"Sheesh, Someone's not a morning person."

"Here you are boys," Shirley set each plate down.

"Enjoy," Britta set the designated drinks down.

Before he took a drink, Jeff looked at the liquid. "What the hell is this?"

"Water."

"Where's my coffee?"

"We were out of ingredients."

"Then give me some orange juice."

"Abed got the last of the orange juice."

Abed gulped down his drink and set the glass down. "Thanks for the OJ Britta."

"You're welcome Abed. It's nice to see _someone_ being appreciative."

"I'll be back with some bacon in a few minutes," Shirley hurried into the kitchen with Britta close behind.

"God this day is going to suck," Jeff sat back in his recliner. He tried to pull the lever that opened the footrest, but he was having no luck getting the footrest out. "And this is happening too!" He got down on his knees and tried to activate the lever. "Fuck my life!"

"Do you really need that footrest?" Abed questioned.

"And was the swearing necessary?" Annie inquired.

Jeff continued messing with the lever. "DAMMIT! Why won't this thing-"

As he got the lever unstuck, the chair slammed into the wall. The force of the slam caused the already poorly hung painting of Jonathan Winger to slip off and hit Annie on the back of her head, knocking her slightly unconscious and causing her to mutter a weak, "Oh."

"Oh my God, Annie!" Jeff rushed to her aid.

"I'll get some ice," Abed ran off to the kitchen.

"Annie?" Jeff began frantically looking around not knowing what to do. "Uh…" he noticed his glass of water. "Here," he gently pried her mouth open, "drink this," he made sure she drank the water. Once the glass was empty he threw it aside. "Annie," Annie started coming to, "Annie are you okay?"

"What…what happened?"

"That painting of my ancestor hit you on the head."

"Huh?"

"Yeah, it sounded weird. Never mind that; are you okay? How do you feel? How's your head?"

Annie lovingly stared into his eyes. "I think it's my heart I'm worried about."

"Are you suffering from amnesia or something? Should I do mouth to mouth again?"

"I think I'd enjoy feeling your lips pressed against mine."

"Abed hurry up with that ice!"

Abed raced back into the living room. "Has she lost her memory?"

Jeff took the ice and pressed it against Annie's head. "I think she's lost her mind."

"You don't have to make such a big fuss," Annie assured him as she put her hand over his, "I'm alright."

Jeff took the ice off her head and set it on Abed's tray. "You don't need an inhaler or water or anything?"

"Water?" Annie looked over at Jeff's tray. "Where is it? Did you drink it already?"

"No I didn't drink it, I gave it to you."

"You did what?"

"Jeff, it's not a good idea to force liquid on someone who's unconscious or it might…" the sudden realization of the last thing Jeff said caught up with Abed. Panicked, Abed began to let out this high pitched noise.

"Abed," naturally, Jeff didn't understand why Abed was making this noise, "Abed did I break you again?"

The rest of the group ran in from the kitchen. "Aw, man," Troy tried snapping his fingers in Abed's face. "Jeff, did you break Abed again?"

"I have no idea why he's like that! You guys figure this out; I have to get in the shower!" Jeff stormed off muttering about how crappy his day was going.

Shirley noticed the frightened look on Annie's face. "Annie, Honey, what's wrong? Did something happen?"

Annie's eyes stayed wide as she nervously nodded. "Uh-huh."

"Dammit!" Britta noticed the glass nearby, "the glass spilled. This must be why Annie and Abed are freaking out."

"Can I point something out?" Troy asked.

"What?"

"If the glass spilled, then why isn't the floor wet?"

Britta felt the carpet. "You're right, the floor's dry."

"Maybe Annie used her magic to clean it up," Shirley suggested. "Is that what happened sweetie?"

"Nah-uh," Annie's expression hadn't changed as she shook her head no.

"NO!" Britta abruptly shouted.

"No what?" Shirley didn't get why Britta suddenly screamed.

"I just read Abed's thoughts."

"Oh," Shirley took a moment to do the same, and then gasped. "OH NO!"

"By all means, please leave me out of the loop," Troy sarcastically acknowledged his presence. "What's going on?"

"Jeff gave Annie the water when he tried to get her regain consciousness."

"So Annie drank the love potion? Annie's in love with Jeff!"

"Madly, hopelessly, _passionately_ in love with Jeff," Annie was referencing to what Britta had said the day before.

"Oh…" Shirley started shaking trying to figure out what to do, "…oh we gotta somehow get Jeff to drink the rest of the potion."

"Um Shirley…" Britta looked extremely nervous.

"What?"

"…there is no rest of the potion."

"Say what?"

"I figured with Jeff's case he'd need a large dose so I poured the entire potion in the water."

"YOU DID WHAT?!" Troy and Annie joined in with Shirley this time.

"I britta'd everything again didn't I?"

…

Craig Pelton, Dean of students at Greendale Community College, pulled his car into the driveway of Duncan's house. "Now," he turned to his passenger, "are we going to do this apology the way we rehearsed?"

The passenger, Spanish instructor Ben Chang, let out an angry sigh. "Yes, Dean Pelton."

"And you promise you're going to be civil?"

"Yes, Dean Pelton," Chang responded through gritted teeth.

"And once the school board hears of your apology with Duncan then all our problems will be over."

"Why are you here again?"

"To make sure you do this right. Now let's get this over and dean with so I can get to my Yoga class." Dean Pelton got out of the car and hurried over to the front door while Chang angrily slumped his way over. "Trust me, this is for the best," he rang Duncan's doorbell.

"I hate this! And I hate Duncan!" Pierce answered the door. "You're not Duncan."

"Who?" Pierce than started laughing. "Oh, him," he continued to laugh. "Yeah, he's not here."

"Awesome. Chang you later."

Dean grabbed Chang's shirt to stop him from going any further. "Now I know for a fact Duncan lives here; I've spent most of what I remember of my spring break here with him. My friend Chang here owes Duncan an apology for a few altercations- one involving a restraining order violation- and to get on good terms with the school board about this situation he's agreed to give Duncan an apology. So can we please see him so that we may get this over with?"

"Uh…" a thought occurred in Pierce's mind: just because he couldn't get out of the house didn't mean that other people couldn't get in. And once the women learned of the other two people than the barrier spell would have to be broken and he could go out and have some real fun. "…sure, come on in." After Chang and Dean entered the house, the door slammed itself shut. "Must be a draft or something," Pierce lied when he noticed the somewhat startled looks on their faces.

"So, where's Duncan?"

"Over here," when the two saw Duncan Cat, they screamed in terror. "Ooh yeah Duncan's a talking cat, how terrifying," he rolled his eyes in sarcasm. "Now I'd warn you to get out of here but chances are he's most likely frozen you in your spots."

"What the what?" Chang tried to move, but couldn't. "Oh no he didn't."

"Oh," Dean was trying not to cry, "if I had known this was going to happen I wouldn't have worn this outfit."

"Gentlemen," Pierce stood in front of them with a sly smile, "let's have some fun."

* * *

**I think I ended this on a cliffhanger. Ooh, what's gonna happen next.**

**See, not only did you guys get what I promised in the intro, but I did put in Chang and the Dean. You guys have been so nice that it was the least I could do. Oh, and I also taught you some Latin…you're welcome.**

**So…a potential Harry Potter reference was pointed out. If you guys see anything you think is referential, let me know. I'm still unsure if I snuck in the Hocus Pocus stuff, but I know I've got some other movies in there.**

**DISCLAIMER: A magically enchanted broom will not appear if you whistle and shout the phrase ROMBO or ROMBO VENIRE. Sorry to dash all hopes of you mortals wanting to ride on a broomstick.**

**I know **_**Community's**_** thrown in some hard to notice things that are supposed to be in plain sight (Abed delivering a baby, Annie's Boobs stealing the pen while everyone was distracted by the dean holding a puppy, Beetlejuice appearing after saying his name 3 times, etc). I've tried to do that too, but I think I failed. I did purposely adjust the broomstick summoning spell so that it was an anagram for broom. And when doing random magic; Britta snaps her fingers while Shirley waves her hand. Much like those mentioned references, it was in plain sight but hard to notice. But be honest, did anyone notice or not?**


	6. Origins of Plans

**Hmm, I think this site is on west coast time because even though I uploaded the last chapter around 2:30 in the morning on the 4****th**** the site said it was last updated on the 3****rd****. Technically you did get a chapter per day but if it goes by west coast time you got 2 chapters in one day. Hey, I'm an obsessive compulsive perfectionist with an amazing memory, I notice these things.**

**Well, there's not much to say that wasn't said in the last chapter. Although if you recall we have a teensy little problem that could have been resolved had Britta not britta'd everything (I love the term britta'd for some odd reason).**

**Anyway…**

* * *

Slater got into Jeff's car with a thermos. Before she even got comfortable, Jeff snatched the thermos out of her hand and gulped down the contents- coffee. "Rough day, sweetheart?" Slater asked this with a heavy sense of sarcasm.

He angrily set the thermos in the nearby cup holder. "Do not start with me today woman."

"What crawled up your ass and died?"

"I do not want to talk about it, or anything, today." Still angry, he put the car and drive and drove in a furious hurry.

"Well, well, well something's got your panties in a bunch."

"What part of 'not talking about it' don't you understand, Slater?"

"Fine, I'll change the subject: why did I get a call from my mother asking what hotel I would be staying at?"

"What?"

"I asked her the exact same thing. Apparently, she Googles my name every day and this morning she read something published yesterday about Jeff Winger taking his fiancée for a weekend getaway while the trial's in a brief remission."

"And they took that seriously? I just said that because someone in the crowd asked about you and I gave a quick answer, no big deal."

"Apparently it is if we're going away this weekend because now we'll actually have to." Jeff let out an agonized groan. "I know; I'm not looking forward to it either. Tell you what, you pick the hotel and I'll reserve my own room."

"You want to stay in the same hotel?"

"Just in case somebody follows us. If anyone asks we can say we're in different rooms because we're not married. Unless of course you've implied that we've slept together before."

"I can't remember if I did or not. Don't bother coming at all. We'll keep up with the charade but if anyone asks, you had a family emergency or whatever and I went by myself."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"You know I hate you, right?"

He was unaffected by this remark. "You're not the first woman to tell me that."

…

Britta closed Jeff's bedroom door. "Annie's asleep."

Troy came out of a spare bedroom and closed that door. "Yeah, I got Abed back to his normal-ish self. I told him to get some rest." Troy didn't say anything as he went downstairs.

Shirley met them both at the bottom. "I don't know if this might help, but I made brownies."

"I'm not hungry."

"But earlier in the kitchen…"

"EVERYTHING IS SO CONFUSING!" Troy had suddenly snapped and was having a mini emotional breakdown. He sat down on the floor in the living room and took a few deep breaths. "Okay, can you please explain why you can't just snap your fingers and make Jeff fall in love with Annie? I mean that would have made everything A THOUSAND TIMES SIMPLER!"

Britta sat down across from Troy and patted his hand. "Things aren't that simple Troy. It's hard to explain everything and I don't think even Abed can help explain."

"Troy," Shirley sat beside him, "witches like us can't control big things like fate, destiny, or love without using spells or curses. The best we can do is use little spells to kind of guide a person."

"That's why we had to brew a love potion."

"Do you get what we're trying to say Honey?"

"Witches like you?" this part stuck out in Troy's mind. "There are different types of witches?" Britta and Shirley shared a look. "There is, isn't there?"

Britta sighed. "Yeah, there are."

"So what kind of witches are you?"

"We're the second kind."

"Um…what?"

"This is why we don't leave the explaining to Britta," Shirley told him. "Britta and I were once mortals. We only became witches because a full-blooded warlock decided to transfer some of his power to us."

"Pierce was the full-blooded warlock wasn't he?"

Shirley nodded and began to tell her story. "I was just a regular cave woman back in my day."

Britta snorted out a laugh. "That says so much."

"Quiet you! Anyway, fire was a new discovery back then for the cave people and everyone was entranced by it. One night, I discovered a fire of a different color. Pierce had conjured this magic fire to attract someone he could turn into a witch."

"It's a thing that a full-blooded magic being has to give power to at least three mortals if they want to sustain a longer life. We still don't get that part either."

"I noticed that whenever someone touched the fire it caused pain. Pierce kept telling me it was okay to touch and eventually I did. I touched the fire, and boom, I was magic."

"That's so awesome!" Troy eagerly turned to Britta. "What's your story Britta?"

"I was a peasant girl during the middle ages," Britta described. "I loved animals and would spend most of my days in the forest playing with animals. I come across this strange, new animal one day and I didn't really know what to do so I picked it up. It bit me."

"Ouch."

"But I didn't bleed or die. The animal was Pierce in disguise. He turns back into a human, tells me I'm now a witch and now I have to live with him and his other student for the rest of my life."

"Were you the other student Shirley?" Shirley nodded. "Wow, this is awesome! This is kinda like the stuff you find in a comic book. What's Annie's backstory?"

Britta looked at Shirley and didn't say anything aloud. _"Should we tell him Annie's backstory? What if he gets confused?"_

"_We'll just have to be honest, the boy wants to know," _Shirley faced Troy. "If you want to know the truth about Annie you better promise to listen carefully to everything and not interrupt." Troy nodded in agreement. "Annie is the one exception- the only one of her kind. She is half-witch. That has never happened before is a big no-no in the magic laws. You either have a full-blooded magic being, or a mortal who became magic through a full-blood's power sharing. Do you understand everything so far?"

Troy nodded again. "I think I do. Can I still hear her story of origin?"

"Annie's mother was a full-blooded witch. She was a nice woman who used her magic for good and we met her through Pierce."

"Annie's mom and Pierce had been friends for centuries," Britta added.

"Well, Annie's mother met a mortal man whose family had traveled on the Mayflower. She and the man fell in love despite everyone's objections. She was so in love with him that she decided she was never going to use witchcraft again, which only angered everyone. Still, she kept her word and Annie's mother secretly married that man." Shirley paused.

Troy darted his eyes back and forth from Shirley to Britta and vice versa. "If Annie's mom was in love with this guy then how did Annie end up with Pierce?"

"You finish the story Britta."

Britta inhaled before letting out a long, deep breath. "Annie's mom died shortly after giving birth to Annie. Her dad didn't know what to do in his grief-ridden mind so he abandoned Annie in the woods. Pierce had a feeling something was wrong with Annie's mom so he goes to find her when he came across Annie. I don't know if he already knew her mom was dead or if he took Annie home hoping her mother would come get her but…" Britta trailed off. "I'm sure you get the picture."

"Annie was twenty-two when we were burned at the stake. That's the honest truth. She had never magically aged or drank the essence of a human life force like Britta and I have. She is young, she is different, and I hope you understand why she can't be in love with Jeff."

Something suddenly dawned on Britta. "I get why she's Pierce's favorite now!"

"It took you this long to get it?"

"I guess it never completely sunk in."

"I worry about you sometimes."

"Wow," Troy was touched, "I feel really sorry for Annie. Can I go give her a hug?"

"Go ahead sweetie." Shirley watched as Troy went upstairs. "Britta, you know as well as I do what needs to be done and you know Pierce is the only one who can do it."

"Yeah, but Pierce would take the curse off of Annie and keep her away from Jeff forever."

"And that's for the best."

"I don't want to do that."

"Why not?"

"Maybe…maybe I want Annie to be with Jeff?"

"Say what?"

"Annie was talking to me before she went to sleep. I think her love for Jeff is sweet and…yeah, maybe I want her to have it."

"Only because you didn't get your chance with Jonathan Winger."

"I learned my lesson okay! I know I'm never going to find the right guy for me but that doesn't mean others can't. I saw how Jonathan Winger was attracted to Annie, and now Jeff is too."

"Annie is a very pretty young woman; she's bound to attract men."

"But there's just something more to Jeff's attraction to her that feels…genuine. He has honest to God feelings for her but I don't even think he knows it."

"Uh, guys," they didn't notice Troy was back. "Annie's not here."

"What?"

"She's not here. I checked all over the house, she's gone."

"Oh my Lord she's chasing after him," Shirley got up and went over to where the brooms were waiting. "We gotta get down to the trial before something happens."

"What if she didn't go to the trial and she's only making us think she did."

"Annie is smart like that," Britta commentated. "She probably also used an anti-tracking spell."

"Alright," Shirley pointed to Troy, "Troy, you stay here in case she comes back. Britta, you and I will split up and search the city for her. Chances are, she took her broom so we should keep on the lookout for any brooms too."

"Maybe we should designate a leader."

"Say one more thing about that and I'll designate my foot up your ass." Britta didn't say anything else as she followed Shirley outside.

Troy stepped outside before they took off. "I'll crystal ball you if anything happens." He waved goodbye as they took off. Once they were out of sight, he stepped back inside. "Coast is clear!"

Abed opened and closed his bedroom door with a calm, cool demeanor while Annie cautiously opened her bedroom door and looked around before heading to the stairs. Once she was sure everything was okay, Annie happily slid down the bannister, landed in front of Troy, and gave him a great big hug and a kiss on his cheek. "I can't thank you enough for this Troy."

"Yeah, well it's hard to say no when you made that sad face. Good luck," he gave her another hug before she ran out the door. When Abed approached him, they gave each other their typical handshake. "Help her if anything happens."

Abed did a two finger salute before heading out the door and leading Annie to his car.

…

"No, no, no," Pierce performed another magic trick and Chang and the Dean were suddenly on a boat- except Chang was dressed like Leonardo DiCaprio and Dean Pelton like Kate Winslet. "I want to actually experience this Titanic incident and you're not convincing enough."

"Maybe we would be if I were Kate Winslet," Chang bemoaned.

"Oh please," Pelton scoffed, "you don't have the proper figure for this dress."

Pierce put his hand to his chin in thought. "Maybe this would work better if you were both women," he pointed his finger at Chang and Chang was transformed into a woman

This gave Duncan great delight. He let out a long snicker and rolled on his back laughing. "This is too perfect! You as a woman and me without a camera."

As he laughed, Chang jumped off the boat, stormed over to Duncan Cat, and stomped on his tail. Duncan's Cat feline scream of agony resulted in Chang laughing in delight.

"Excuse me Pierce," Pelton gestured for Pierce's attention, "I can keep this outfit when we're free to go right?"

"Sure, whatever," Pierce looked around again, "where in Satan's glorious name are those witches?"

…

Jeff took a much needed drink as he stood by the water cooler during the court's recess.

"That last revelation came out of left field," the opposing lawyer met up with Jeff and poured himself a cup. "Can you back that up with actual evidence?"

"If I play my cards right I shouldn't have to Alan," Jeff snarked back.

"Hmm," Alan took a swig of water, "and I've tried every throwing every curveball at you."

"What up with the baseball analogies?"

"Okay, subject change: I saw that rock on Michelle's finger. Must have cost a fortune…or was it a steal."

"It was a gift for me to give to her. If you're going to try going for defamation of my character you're not going to find anything." He let out a sort of sly snicker as he put his paper cup to his mouth for another drink. Said drink was then quickly spat out in comedic fashion when something behind Alan got Jeff's attention. "Crap," he hurried over to what the trouble was and pushed her into the nearby women's room. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to see my favorite lawyer in action," Annie smiled at him. "If that's a crime then I'd like to claim you as my right to an attorney."

"Why are you dressed like that?"

"You like?" Annie modeled her new dress. "It doesn't make me look too hippy does it?"

"No, you look beautiful."

"I do?"

Jeff realized what he said. "Listen Annie, I'm sorry if you think I led you on but I didn't."

"But you just called me beautiful?" she gasped and her eyes went wide with sorrow. "You lied didn't you? You don't find me the least bit attractive?"

"I do, but that's not the point. I have no romantic feelings for you whatsoever."

This time, Annie's look was more sly. "Riddle me this Jeff Winger: if you were forced to marry Slater or me, who would you choose?"

"What?"

"Just answer please."

"No, there's not point."

"Well then just answer for my benefit. Would you marry Slater or me?"

"Neither."

"You're lying."

"No, I'm not."

"I can read your thoughts Jeff. Close your eyes and picture this," Annie put her hand to his forehead and formed the idea in his head as if it were happening before his eyes. "You're standing in a cold, dark room. There is a madman with a gun and the gun is pointed at your head. This is a game to him and if he doesn't get an answer he'll blow your brains out. You tell him 'neither' but that answer's not good enough. He demands an answer but you won't give him one. His fingers grip together around the trigger and he starts counting down three…two…one-"

"YOU OKAY!" Jeff blurted out. "I'd marry you okay! Are you happy? Are you satisfied? Why did that mental picture seem so real?"

"That's all I wanted to know Jeff."

"What is wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with me?" She started walking toward him, but he kept backing away, "I'm madly, hopelessly, _passionately_ in love with you."

"Wow, okay that bump on the head is more serious than I thought."

"Shut up and kiss me."

"Annie-" Jeff was silenced when Annie passionately pressed her lips to his. He soon found himself surrendering to his desire and kissing her back with the same aggressive passion she ignited. Had Jeff took notice, he should have realized that he was leaning against the back of the bathroom door entrance. In the middle of their lip lock, enough force was created to push open the door. Jeff was now on the ground with Annie on top of him.

And yes, people took notice of this; court attendees, Abed, a now delighted Alan, and one woman who stepped out of the bathroom.

Naturally, Slater looked pissed. "Why is it that everything interesting happens to you when I'm in the bathroom?"

Jeff pried Annie off of him. "I can explain. Just give me a sec."

Slater took off the ring and angrily threw it at him. "Take all the time you need," she stormed off.

"My ring," Annie picked up her ring and slid it on her finger. "I might as well take this back, huh Jeff?"

"You are insane!" Jeff got off the ground and started walking away, but ran into Alan…

…or more accurately, Alan's cameraphone. "Oh, I've got some nice pictures here," Alan snickered as he went through the images. "I can't wait to enter this as evidence."

Annie caught up to Jeff. "I'm sorry if I upset you, Jeff. Did I do something wrong?"

Alan took another picture, this time it was of Annie. "Good choice in models Jeffrey. If I may say so, this flavor of the month looks much more delicious than Slater."

For some reason this upset Jeff. With a quick punch to the face, he knocked Alan to the ground. As Alan fell, he dropped the phone. Jeff took the opportunity to then step on the phone. "This girl might be temporarily insane, but that's no reason to talk about her like that."

Alan propped himself up. "If you think what I said about her was bad then I'm dying to see how you react to what the press says about her."

"Oh shit, the press!" Jeff took Annie by the hand and started leading her away. "Abed!" he called for Abed to follow. "The press cannot find out about her or they will rip her to shreds."

"Plus she's kinda hiding from Shirley and Britta," Abed added.

Jeff looked at Annie. "You're hiding from your friends? Why?"

"Because they don't want me to love you," Annie innocently answered.

"Abed, can you give us some privacy?" Abed nodded and walked away. "Boy, you're not kidding about being in love with me."

"I wasn't supposed to fall in love with you but I am! I just know Shirley and Britta are going to tell Pierce and there's no telling what Pierce will do. But I know that whatever he does…" tears started to well up in Annie's eyes, "…no matter what he does he's going to make sure we never, ever see each other again."

Jeff wiped away the tears from Annie's eyes. "Well I'm not going to let that happen."

"You're not?"

"You've grown on me Annie Edison. It would suck just getting to know you and then have you taken out of my life forever."

"Ditto."

"Abed!"

Abed ran back over to Jeff. "You rang?"

"Lurch, I need you to take Annie to this hotel in Riverside on Harmon road. I forgot the name of it, but I have a reservation under my last name. And make sure no one sees her." Jeff turned to Annie. "I'll meet you there later, okay?"

Her smile was the only response Jeff needed to make sure everything was going be okay.

* * *

**I hope this pleases the many Jeff/Annie shippers who may or not be angry with the direction their headed right now.**

**For the record; the scene in the movie was not only longer, but it was actually the wedding. The witch's father, Daniel, was also there but because of the circumstances I adjusted this so that it's just Annie with a small dose of Abed.**

**Also, I didn't know the name of the hotel in the **_**Conventions of Space and Time **_**episode so I kinda weaseled my way out of it. If it does have a name then I must've missed and if anyone knows what it is please tell me.**

**I also kinda created the witch's backstories. I'm pretty sure they're needed for later but I kinda needed to remind myself that I keep having to alter rules of witchcraft and I should give decent reasons why in addition to why the women are with Pierce. So…I hope those were decent.**


	7. I Could Go for Some Ice Cream

**How can I top the Jeff/Annie in the last chapter? THIS CHAPTER!**

**Now some of you may be wondering "Jenna/bluecinderella4 [I'll let you pick your name preference] the title of this fic is 'He Married a Witch' but they're not married. Is this title and everything I know a lie?"**

**To this I respond: The title is not a lie, it's just kind of a vague truth. Yes the He will marry the witch, but the title cleverly doesn't say when. If it did the title might be 'He Eventually Married a Witch in Chapter Seven'. Oh wait, it was- I hard to shorten it.**

**Let's just get back to the chapter before I do something else in a poor attempt to be funny.**

* * *

Abed parked his car in the hotel parking lot. "I still think broom travel would've been easier, and faster than me driving you."

"Well you drove me to the courthouse," Annie reminded him. "How else were you gonna get home?"

"I could have traveled by broom; I wanna try broomstick surfing."

"Oh?"

"It would've been cool; but Shirley and Britta might've found me. You're right, driving was a better idea."

"Besides…" Annie took a pause, "…I want to get used to car travel."

Abed casually shrugged. "Whatever makes you happy." He didn't say anything for a few seconds until Annie was almost out of the car. "Jeff does love you," he bluntly said. "He just doesn't know it. I can tell, his character is changing a little and experiencing real love for the first time. In most cases a new love interest doesn't last or doesn't work leaving fans unsatisfied. It's different for you guys. You guys will work…I can tell."

"Thank you Abed," Annie gave him a quick peck on the cheek. She watched Abed drive off before heading into the hotel. After a few minutes of wandering around in uncertainty, she approached the front desk. "Who do I speak to about a reservation under the last name Winger?"

The lady at the desk laughed. "Is this your first time in a hotel?" Annie blushed a little. "We do have a reservation under the name Jeff Winger; are you his wife?"

"Oh no, no, not yet…soon, hopefully if all goes well."

"Oh," she noticed the ring that Annie had put on her left ring finger instead of the right and assumed Annie was his fiancée. She did some more typing before handing Annie a key card. "You and Mr. Winger will be staying in room 1019; it's on the third floor."

"What's this?"

"That's right this is your first visit. This is your key card. You swipe it in the little electronic gizmo on the doorknob. You also use the card to get into the hotel restaurant, bar, gym, spa, casino, game room, and indoor swimming pool."

"I have so much power with this little card?" Annie inspected the card with the utmost curiosity. "How strange." The woman gave her a funny look. "Where are the stairs?"

"Wouldn't you rather take the elevator?"

"Elevator?"

The woman was slightly concerned by this point. "On second thought you should probably take the stairs. A few feet away there's a door marked stairs. Take the stairs until you get to a door with a three labeled to the side. Then you just follow the arrows to your room."

"Do I need this little card to get to the stairs?"

"No."

"Oh. Thank you, you've been very helpful."

The woman watched as Annie headed toward the stairs. "Usually these types of girls have blonde hair."

…

Pierce applauded Chang and Dean Pelton as they finished showing Pierce 'The Entire History of Dance'. "Bravo gentlemen! I never get tired of seeing this."

"You've seen it four times now," Chang said as he panted.

"Yes, well I've missed so much with my three hundred twenty year incarceration. There's so much for me to catch up on."

"Read a book!"

"Now Chang, there's no need to be a grump. And there's also no need for you to try and sneak out of here through the vents again."

"I HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE!"

"And you will once the ladies return. You see, no matter how long they may stay gone- huh, I just did some inadvertent rhyming there- anyway, they always come back to me. They think they have free will. They think they can trap me in this house without my spellbook to help me break the barrier spell. They _think_."

"Pierce," Pelton began, "I'm beginning to think your friends aren't really your friends."

"What? Of course they are?"

"Then why aren't they back yet? Did ya ever think that they want to discover new things for themselves and be on their own without you?"

"But…but…"

"It seems to me that you need them more than they need you."

Chang raised his hand. "Can I Chang you a question?" Pierce gestured for him to continue. "If you're such an all-powerful warlock, why didn't you just zap them back here?"

"When you're the victim of a barrier spell your magic isn't much use outside of the barrier," Pierce explained. "I can only do magic here until Shirley returns and breaks the spell."

"What if Shirley doesn't return?"

"That's why I have you guys."

"Aww," Pelton placed a hand to his heart, "all you want is companionship."

Chang gestured to Duncan Cat. "He had the stupid, evil, smelly, British Cat!'

"Getting a bit personal aren't we Benjamin?" Duncan Cat quipped back.

"You have no feelings; it's not like I'm hurting anything."

"I slept with your wife."

"SO HAS EVERYONE ELSE!"

"Someone's going to need to take his crazy pills soon."

"Choke on fish and chips!"

"Gentlemen please," Pierce interrupted the feuding, "the two of you fight worse than cats and dogs. This gives me an idea," Pierce pointed at Chang and in a quick flash, Chang was a dog.

Dean Pelton gasped, not at the sight of Chang as a dog so much as what kind of dog Chang now was. "A Changmatian." He let out a squeal and hurried over to Chang. "And he's such a cutie, yes he is. Yes, he is," Changmatian's angry barking was enough to startle the dean.

"Now Chang, I will change you back once you learn to get along with Duncan."

"What about changing _me_ back?" Duncan protested.

"I still want to keep this house. And you've sort of grown on me Duncan Cat." As Pierce went to pet Duncan, Duncan hissed at him before biting him. In response, Pierce conjured up a bucket of ice cold water and poured it all over Duncan. "Bad kitty!"

…

"Annie!" Jeff called to her as he entered the hotel room. "Annie, we need to talk about…" he stopped once he notice the arrangement of one might perceive to be a romantic dinner (complete with a vase of roses in the center of the tray). "Uh…Annie?" He set his things down beside the bed. "Can I eat this now or…what?" He quickly turned around when he heard the sound of another door (the bathroom door) opening.

Annie stepped out of the bathroom in a pink bathrobe and dripping wet hair. "Hello Jeff," she greeted him in a strangely casual manner. Annie walked over to him and gave him a gentle hello kiss. "I was wondering when you were gonna get here?"

"Why did you just do that?"

"Because I wanted to. What, you didn't like it?"

"It took me off guard a bit. Give a guy a warning next time."

"I'm sorry."

"I didn't say I didn't like it but-"

"Are you hungry?"

"Yeah, but-"

"You won't believe how this happened!" When Annie excitedly sat herself on the bed, she bounced. "I pick up this device here…"

"A phone?"

"Phone? I'll have to remember that. Anyway, I pick it up and a strange man's voice says 'room service how may I help you?'. I figured out you're supposed to talk back to the voice through the phone and the man told me what room service does. So I ordered us a romantic, dinner special."

"I noticed."

"He said it would take forty-five minutes. I didn't know what that meant exactly so I assumed I would have to cook the dinner myself. But later, a man with a tray comes in with all this food and tells me it's my order. I didn't have to do anything. I made a comment about hotels being confusing and he helped me understand everything. Hotels are magical, aren't they Jeff?"

"Magical, yeah?" Jeff lifted a dinner lid. "How much did all this cost exactly?"

"A hotel would be a wonderful place to live for people who don't know how to take care of themselves."

"Yeah, but the rent would be expensive."

"I'd live in a hotel if I didn't want to learn to do everything for myself and for you."

"Annie, can we have a little talk?"

"Did I do something wrong?"

Jeff took a seat beside her on the bed. "I go to check in and the lady at the desk says my fiancée has already arrived."

"I thought Slater wasn't your fiancée anymore?"

"She meant you. Did you tell that woman we were engaged?"

"No," Annie replayed the conversation in her head exactly the way it happened. "She asked me if I was your wife and I responded 'oh no, no, not yet…soon, hopefully if all goes well'."

"Those were your _exact_ words?"

Annie made her typical sad face. "Did I ruin everything again Jeff?"

"Ugh, stop making that face!" Jeff tried to look away.

Annie gasped. "What's wrong with my face?"

"That face, that sad face. No one can say no to it! Saying no to that face would be like choking the little mermaid with a bike chain."

"What did the mermaids ever do to you?"

"Look, because of what you said, everyone in the hotel thinks we're going to be married."

"What's wrong with that?"

"Someone might say something and another person might tell somebody important and eventually they're going to find out it's a lie and then everything is virtually over for both of us!"

"Maybe it doesn't have to be a lie."

"What?"

"Why don't you marry me?"

"Oh, I can think of a few reasons why not."

"Do they automatically trump the reasons why?"

"What reasons could there possibly be for us to get married?"

"Well for starters it might be beneficial to the public. If they do find out then we'll actually be married so it won't be a lie. You can make up a love at first sight story and that might help you win the affection of the hopeless romantic people."

"Okay, what's another reason?"

"I have nowhere else to go. I can't go back with Shirley, Britta, or Pierce. And they're friends with Troy and Abed so I can't stay with them either."

"What if your friends find you leaving with me? Shirley and Britta know where I live."

"Then move. Do you even like living in your dead uncle's house?"

"Actually no, I don't. It was like a free house it seemed natural to move in- and I did it as an excuse to move away my creepy neighbor. Of course there's the fact that my uncle actually died in that house..."

"That's...unpleasant."

"Back on topic; are there any other reasons we should get married?"

"I love you."

"Annie, I don't think you even know what love is."

"I know it might seem hard to explain, or even hard to believe, but you have to understand that I do love you Jeff. And I do want to marry you. I've always wanted marry my true love ever since I was little."

"Ew, you actually believe in true love?"

"Jeff!"

"Look, Annie-"

"I'll be a good wife, I promise! I'll learn to do all the things that wives do and I'll do whatever I can to make you happy."

"But I want you to be happy too. It isn't the 1950's Annie. Don't you have career aspirations?"

"I can find a job if I have to, but it's not necessary. Should it matter if we marry and I don't have a career? Wouldn't you prefer if I didn't?"

"If I answer yes would that be sexist?"

"Jeff, if you truly want me to be happy than you'll marry me."

"You're serious about this?" Annie nodded. "Are you going to keep stalking me until I give in?"

"If I have to." Jeff sighed. "Jeff, I love you, I want to marry you, I want you to be happy, and you want me to be happy. Aren't those reasons enough?"

"Believe me when I say you're not gonna be happy Annie. All Winger men have miserable marriages."

"Start a new trend."

"I'll make a terrible husband."

"It won't matter as long as you're _my_ terrible husband."

Jeff noticed her ring on her left finger. He didn't know why, but for some reason it seemed natural for that ring to be there- even though it shouldn't have been. He took a deep breath. "Okay, fine." Annie gasped with delight. "If it'll shut you up, I'll marry you."

"YAY!" Annie wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her lips to his with enough force for him to tackle him onto the bed.

Somehow, Jeff managed to get him off of her. "Alright, alright! We'll go after dinner."

"Can we go now?"

"The food'll get cold."

"I'll make sure it doesn't!"

"Fine, whatever. The sooner we get this over and done with the better." He grabbed his jacket and went to the door. "You comin'?"

"You go; I'll meet you in the lobby after I change."

"Yeah that'll take an hour," Jeff grumbled as he closed the door behind him.

Annie smiled to herself as she put a protective bubble over the food. "Just to make sure you stay fresh." She put her finger to the side of her chin in thought. "Am I missing anything else?" She snapped her fingers in realization. "Wardrobe!" When she stepped in the bathroom, she took notice of her messy wet hair. "Oh no, this won't do." With a quick point, Annie altered her hair the way she wanted. "Now for the dress!" When she pointed to herself, it seemed as though nothing happened. But when Annie looked under the robe, she let out a wide grin. "Now I'm ready." She made sure to grab her key card before leaving. As soon as she stepped outside, she then had another thought. "I should probably take care of that too." She opened the bathrobe pocket and pointed until something was waiting inside. "Okay, now I'm really ready." She headed for the stairs.

Jeff stood in front of the elevator playing with his blackberry. Expecting Annie to get off the elevator in about thirty minutes or more, he let out a frightened scream when someone tapped him on his shoulder. "Annie, what the Hell?"

"I'm ready."

"Why didn't you use the elevator?"

"I prefer stairs."

"Please tell me you're not wearing that bathrobe in public?"

"I don't want you to see my dress yet."

"Annie!"

"Jeff! See, I can whine too. Now let's go; you don't want the food to get cold."

"Is it weird that I find it hot when you get formidable with me?"

…

Troy opened the door for Shirley and Britta when they met him back at Jeff's house. "You guys have any luck?" he inquired.

"None," Shirley threw her broom aside. "I don't know whether to be worried or angry. Poor Annie's lost out there and she's probably chasing after a man who's only gonna break her heart. I hate to think of what she could do to herself."

"We really came back for food," Britta interjected. "Are you sure you haven't heard anything?"

"Nothing," Troy responded back. "And Abed's kept his eyes glued to the local TV channels hoping to spot her in a crowd or something. She hasn't even bothered crystal balling us."

"Britta," Shirley's was holding her shaky hands together, "you know what we have to do now. Food will just have to wait."

Britta nodded before turning to Troy. "Try getting a hold of Jeff too; maybe he'll know something."

"Do what you have to do," Troy told her before she and Shirley disappeared.

...

"FREEDOM!" Pierce's voice rang throughout the house as Shirley and Britta reappeared.

"That crafty bastard!" Shirley stomped her foot in anger. "I shoulda realized the second I'd get here he'd escape."

"Uh Shirley…" Britta pointed out the bald man and the Asian looking Dalmatian, "…should we do something about this?"

"Not now! We need to find Pierce."

"But shouldn't we also be looking for Annie?"

"One magic being at a time."

"Let's split up again. You understand Pierce better than any of us so you look for him. I'll look for Annie."

Shirley folded her arms in suspicion. "Why is it that you want to find Annie when it's more important to find Pierce?"

"Ugh, fine! We'll split up and look for Pierce. Happy?" Britta was the first out the door.

"Uhm hmm," at was at this point that Shirley became highly suspicious of Britta.

…

"Ugh, did you really have to wear that robe in public?" Jeff griped as he and Annie walked up the steps of the Riverside City Hall.

Annie moaned. "How many times do I have to explain that I don't want you to see my dress yet?"

"And you didn't have a jacket to cover yourself with?"

"Please show some cooperation Jeff. I'm trying to make this special."

"Yeah, well don't it's just a wedding." He looked at the City Hall registry. "God why is everything important never on the first floor?"

"Ooh look, these stairs don't have a door. I wonder why."

"Who uses the stairs besides you? We're taking the elevator."

"If you insist." Jeff led her to the elevator and pushed the up button. When the elevator started up, Annie screamed and clung to Jeff.

"Have you ever ridden an elevator before?"

"No."

"Ah. Well the first time is always scary but eventually you get used to it." The ding made Annie jump. "It does that when we've reached the destination."

Annie watched with the utmost curiosity as the door automatically opened. "Do the elevator doors always do that?"

"What open and close automatically? Yeah."

"Now what?"

"Now we get off," Jeff took her hand and led her out of the elevator. He let go of her hand once they were out. "See, easy. You just get in, push some buttons, and get off."

"It does seem more faster than stairs."

"And it's easier for the people in wheelchairs."

"They have wheelchairs outside of hospitals?"

"Were you raised Amish or something?"

"I haven't really been out in a long, long time."

"Are you telling me you've spent your entire life indoors?"

"Basically."

"That must have sucked."

"A little; but at least I had someone to keep me company." Annie let out a small laugh. "It's funny."

"What is?"

"I don't think I've ever been truly alone in my entire life."

"I'm learning more and more about you every day Annie Edison."

"Promise me you'll never ever leave me alone."

"I don't know if I can make that promise right now Annie." Jeff went over to the desk. "Yeah, can we get a marriage license?"

The clerk behind the desk pointed to the nearby door. "Through here." Like a gentleman, Jeff held the door open for Annie. "Fifteen dollar fee plus an extra five per witness."

"Here's a twenty," Jeff handed the clerk a twenty dollar bill.

The clerk gave it a thorough inspection before putting it in a lock box. "Alright, follow me," he led them to another door. This time they were in a room that was designed to look like a chapel, but was much more drab and boring. "Wait here, I'll get the paperwork and a witness."

Annie examined her surroundings. "Is this what a real wedding is supposed to be like?"

Jeff scoffed. "A real cheap wedding maybe."

"It doesn't seem like the type of weddings from fairy tales."

"That's because fairy tales aren't real."

"You don't know that."

"Can you take that stupid bathrobe off now?"

"Not until we start."

"Are you even wearing anything under there?"

"Of course I am!"

"Hey, I wouldn't be disappointed either way just so long as you take off that stupid robe."

The clerk returned with a stack of papers and a nervous looking nerd carrying a fake bouquet. "This is my grandson Garrett; he'll be your witness."

"You said you were going to get me my ice cream!" Garrett sort of whined this.

"After this is over!" the clerk stood at a podium at the end of the room. "Come on; let's get this over so Drama King here can get his ice cream."

Annie stopped Jeff before he got up. "Here," she slid her ring off of her finger.

He looked at the ring with some confusion. "Regifting a regift? Nice touch."

"No, slide it on my finger like a wedding band."

"Oh. That makes so much more sense." He stood up. "I'm sorry you don't get the traditional walking down the aisle deal but if you'd like we can walk together to the podium together." He held out his hand.

"I would like that," Annie reached for something in the bathrobe pocket before taking off the robe to reveal an enchantingly captivating white minidress. When Jeff got a look at her, he was stunned speechless. "Why are you staring at me like that? Do I look awful?"

"No," Jeff could not take his eyes off of her, "you look…you look beautiful." Annie blushed a little as she smiled and took his hand. Hand in hand they walked over to the podium. At the podium, a fidgety Garrett nearly thrusted the bouquet at Annie. With some reluctance- and a scared look- she took the fake bouquet from him.

"How do you want to do this?" the clerk questioned. "You just want the 'I dos' and the ring part?"

"Yeah, but keep it short," Jeff answered back.

"Fine. First you gotta sign all this paperwork crap before you sign the marriage license. Moan and groan all you want but this is my job. Garrett, get your fat ass over here and sign some paperwork." A flustered Garrett hurried over to the podium and signed what he needed to sign as a witness. It took about a minute of signing before they were ready to actually begin. "Okay, do you…" the clerk read the name, "Jeffrey Tobias Winger take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

"I do," Jeff's attitude about this didn't seem meaningful. He just wanted it to be over and done with ('so I'm married yeah, great, when's dinner?')

"Jeff," Annie was a bit nervous, "why do you have three names?"

"Tobias is unfortunately my middle name."

"Middle name? Oh, I didn't know people had those."

"You don't have one?"

"I guess not."

"Lucky you."

"So it's not a bad thing?"

"Of course it's not a bad thing."

"But-"

"May I continue please?" the clerk asked. Jeff gestured for him to go on. "Good. Do you…Annie Edison take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do," and she meant it. Jeff couldn't help but stare at her after she said it. They stood there for a moment staring into each other's eyes, Jeff giving her that 'funny' look.

"AHEM!" the clerk got their attention. "Now is where you slide the rings on each other's fingers as a symbol of eternal love and what not."

Annie displayed the band of gold she conjured up for Jeff in her hand. "Annie, you didn't have to-"

Annie pressed her finger to his lips. "It's a gift," she slid the band of gold on his left ring finger. As he was about to do the same, she pulled her hand away. "I'll only wear it as long as you promise you'll never leave me alone."

"Annie…"

"Just promise me that please."

"Alright, I promise."

"Thank you," she held her hand back out so that he could put the ring on her finger.

The clerk displayed one final piece of paper. "By the power vested in me, by the state of Colorado, I now pronounce you two husband and wife. Sign this license and then you may kiss the bride."

Jeff and Annie did so and then shared their first kiss as man and wife. The clerk and Garrett applauded at the loving display of affection.

The kiss continued on for about a minute before the clerk left the podium. "I'll go get your copy ready." As he walked passed them, Garrett started throwing rice. "I thought I told you no rice! Where did you even get that?" Upset, Garrett followed his grandfather out demanding ice cream.

A few moments later, Jeff pulled away. "Wow."

"Wow," Annie breathed back.

"That was…"

"Uh-huh…"

"So, I guess we're married now."

"Looks that way."

"Well, I don't know about you but I could go for some ice cream."

"That sounds wonderful."

Jeff extended his arm. "Milady."

Annie looped her arms with his. "Milord."

* * *

**I just had to end it with Milady-Milord. There was no other way.**

**For the record, the desk lady and the clerk are not based off of anyone from the show. I just pictured the woman at the desk as a middle-aged redhead- a post Lucy from **_**I Love Lucy.**_** And for God knows what reason I envisioned the City Hall clerk as Garry Marshall- probably because I just watched the **_**Pinky & the Brain**_** episode where Garry Marshall played Satan (hey, he played Satan in **_**Hocus Pocus**_** too!). Oh, and did you guys catch the October 19th reference?**

**You obviously weren't going to get the typical wedding, but I do hope this sufficed. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to get some ice cream.**


	8. Much Needed Sleep

**A guest review asked why Annie doesn't understand the basic rules of society. I couldn't reply back so I'll give that person an answer here in case they forgot: Pierce, Shirley, Britta, and Annie are 17****th**** century witches/warlock who were burned at the stake and their spirits were trapped in a spellbook for 320 years. In present day 2013, they're released by Troy and Abed and given their current identities. Yes, I've made it clear that they've adapted to modern talk; that's most likely because they're magically adept at languages. But that doesn't mean they've experienced modern day places or traditions. If you were a 17****th**** century person what would be your view on the modern day hotel or present day weddings? I've also established that Annie is 22, has always been 22, associated with 3 people mostly, and rarely interacted in public. That could be a factor.**

**Shorter answer: MAGIC!**

**I hope this answers your question.**

**Got nothing else to say. Gonna move on.**

* * *

"I still don't understand," Annie flipped a page from an _Us Weekly _magazine Jeff had purchased ("Not for me, for you!" he was quick to remind her) as she laid on her side of the hotel bed. "Who are these Kardashians? Why are they famous? What do they contribute to society?"

"I think everyone's been asking themselves that same question for years," Jeff casually quipped as he read his magazine.

Annie shrugged and skimmed some more pages. "And why are people so preoccupied with the 'royal baby'?"

"People love babies for some strange, disturbing reason," Jeff reached for his drink on the nearby side table.

"What about you?"

"What about me?" he took a drink.

"Do you love babies?"

Jeff spat out his drink and began choking. "Annie, what the hell? Why did you ask me that?"

"Just out of curiosity. Why are you making a much bigger deal out of this than it is? It's a simple question."

"Here's a simple answer; no. No, I do not love babies. They're ugly, expensive, ugly things that are a constant reminder that even though you said you were never going to end up like your parents, news flash, you become your parents. And I am never going to be like my father." He turned to face her. "Does that upset you in any way?" She didn't say anything. "If it did I'm sorry, really. It's just, I never liked babies and babies never liked me. I'm not exactly parent material." She just stared at him. "Are you going to say anything?"

"Your father abandoned you too didn't he?"

Jeff sighed and took a pause. "Yeah, he left me and my mom when I was eight years old. What about yours?"

"I don't think you want to hear."

"That painful huh?" Annie turned back to her magazine. "Hey," Jeff put his hand on her hand, "I'm your husband now; you can tell me anything." Annie burst into tears. "What? What's the matter?"

"Nothing," Annie wiped away her tears, "it just sounded really nice when you referred to yourself as my husband."

Jeff reached for a tissue. "Yeah, well don't get used to it." She let out a small laugh as she wiped her tears. "Wanna tell me about your dad?"

"He uh…he abandoned me the day I was born."

"Oh my God that's awful."

"I know it sounds terrible but I can take comfort knowing that when he did it he did it a tragic state of mind. My mother died from some childbirth complication."

"Geez, that's even more awful."

"My father was so upset that he left me in the middle of nowhere to be found by Pierce. When I asked Pierce what happened to my dad…"

"Your dad was so upset that killed himself?" Annie's tears came back as she nodded. "Hey," Jeff took her in his arms and held her close to his chest, "it's okay. Well, no it's actually not but I don't really think there's anything to say in this situation to make you feel better."

"There's just so much I have to tell you that I can't tell you!"

"Well, we did technically meet yesterday and impulsively got married so I can understand not wanting to tell me a few things. It's okay to take things slow sometimes."

"Okay." Annie curled up closer to him.

"Why are you-"

"I like this feeling," she rested her head near his shoulder.

"From your perspective maybe."

"No, not that- though that feeling's nice too."

"Oh you're talking about an emotional feeling. Please don't tell me about it."

Annie let out a contented noise. "I've always dreamed of being in love. Never in my wildest dreams could it be this…frawesome."

Jeff chuckled. "Where do you hear that ridiculous word?"

"From Troy," this was the last thing she said before she drifted off into a peaceful slumber.

"Annie?" Jeff tried to shake her awake to no avail. Sighing in defeat, he turned off the lights. "Goodnight Mrs. Winger," he kissed the top of her head and soon fell asleep with his arms wrapped around her.

…

"Thanks for letting me crash here," Britta threw her broom aside as she stumbled into Casa de Trobed. "Shirley and I have looked everywhere for Pierce and Annie and I'm _sooooo_ tired…and hungry"

Troy greeted her with a granola bar. "Abed and I figured you might be hungry, and a vegetarian, so we got you a granola bar."

"Vegetarian? That the same thing as an herbivore?"

"Yeah, but it's not really a good idea to call people herbivores so they're vegetarians." Britta snacked on the healthy treat. "I also changed my bed sheets for you."

"I'm sorry, what?"

"I thought you'd wanna sleep in a bed so-"

"So you're giving me special privileges just because I don't live here? Would you have done this if I was a male guest?"

"Yeah, it's called hospitality."

"I know what hospitality is. You don't have to do anything special for me just because I'm crashing here tonight. I'll be comfortable on the couch."

"Whatever. It's our guest bed anyway. I share a bunk bed with Abed."

"Then why did you say you changed _your _bedsheets."

"Because it was the bedsheets _I_ had bought and picked out when I our last guest stayed over. Abed and I have different taste in guest bedsheets."

"You didn't gender identify it did you?"

"Pick out pink sheets? No. They're yellow."

"Oh…I like yellow."

"It is a gender neutral color. Plus when I first met you, you were a yellow puff of smoke."

"You remember that?"

"It's kinda hard not to forget the first time you unleash a quartet of magic spirits."

And for the first time in a long time, Britta flashed an authentic smile.

…

"I WILL HAVE MY REVOLUTION!" Changmatian cried from Pelton's apartment.

A sleepy dean stumbled to his apartment terrace. "Chang, it's one in the morning. Get back in here and go sleep."

"I never sleep!"

"Oh great, he needs to take his anti-crazy pills."

"I will never rest until I return to my Chang-glorious body! I will have my revenge! I will have my revolution! I WILL SLEEP WITH MY WIFE AGAIN!" The dean picked up a squeaky toy that he kept around his apartment (for some unknown reason). For another disturbing reason, the squeaking got Chang excited.

"See the toy! See the toy! Fetch," Pelton threw the toy and Chang chased after it. Immediately, Pelton closed the terrace doors. As his back was turned, he failed to notice Changmatian ram his head until the wall until he heard the thud. This did manage to knock Changmatian unconscious. "Well that solves that problem," he went back into his room where Duncan Cat was waiting on the bed. "I got him to shut up."

"Good God, he's annoying. I still don't know how you managed to talk me into coming here with him."

"I figured until the two of you are human again you need to someone to take care of you guys."

"Balderdash!" After a pause, Duncan went closer to the dean. "I hate to be a bother but could you scratch me behind my ear?" Pelton obliged. "Oh yeah, that feels good."

"Is it me, or does this remind you of that last night of spring break?"

"Let's never talk about that again," Duncan Cat rested on the empty pillow. "Goodnight Craig."

"Sweet deans Duncan Cat."

…

The woman at the bar slapped Pierce across the face and muttered, "Racist prick," as she stormed away.

"It was an innocent observation!" Pierce called back to her. "Pfft, women," he gestured for the bartender. "Can I get another one of these things?"

"How many have you had?" he asked.

"This one was my first," the bartender narrowed his eyes, "honest, it was." The bartender said nothing else and poured Pierce another drink. "What do you call this discovery?"

"A double 7 and 7."

"Peculiar name," Pierce downed the drink. "Does this drink have a recipe I can borrow?"

"Look it up online."

"On what line?" the bartender laughed. "I'm serious, on what line?"

"How 'bout another drink?"

…

"I thought the spell was irreversible," Troy was lying in bed next to Britta and they were carrying on a conversation.

"Well, yeah, but only a full-blooded witch or warlock can undo any spell witches like Shirley and I cast. I know magic seems complicated to you but-"

"I'll learn." There was a brief moment of silence as they stared up at the ceiling. "We did a good thing letting Annie go."

"I know she'll be happy with Jeff."

"Even though Winger men have miserable marriages?"

"Any curse can be broken by true love."

"And you think Jeff and Annie are each other's true love? Even before Jeff gave her the potion?"

"Annie told us she thought she was falling for Jeff before she even drank it."

"She did?"

"What else could I do but laugh? I should have taken her more seriously, but I didn't. Then Annie drank the potion and…and I thought that maybe, just maybe, this was supposed to happen."

"Like it was her destiny or fate."

"Yeah." Britta didn't say anything for a minute. "Troy?"

"Yeah, Britta."

"Do you think I'll ever find true love?"

They simultaneously turned to each other. "Yeah, and it'll be with some animal loving free spirit exactly like you."

"I don't think I want someone _exactly_ like me. I mean, opposites attract right?"

"Right."

"I want the kind of relationship you and Abed have but more…you know more romantic."

"Abed and I can be romantic!" Britta's eyes went wide. "That did not come out the way I wanted it to!"

"I think I got what you were trying to say."

"You did?"

"I did." Britta and Troy soon found themselves leaning in for a kiss…

…but that didn't happen because Abed entered the room. "Sorry if I was interrupting anything- I doubt it because you're over the covers- but I thought it would be a good time to make sure Jeff was awake. I came to ask if you wanted some breakfast."

"What time is it?" Troy looked at his watch. "Oh my God it's already morning?"

"We stayed up the entire night talking?" Britta was in disbelief.

"Looks that way," Abed nonchalantly remarked. "I'm gonna get some donuts and call Jeff. You can go to bed now if you want." He left.

"I don't know about you Troy, but I…" she glanced over and noticed Troy was fast asleep. Britta let out a little snort. "Good morning Troy," she gave him a kiss on his forehead, and decided to sleep on the couch.

…

Annie answered Jeff's ringing cell phone. "Hi Abed!"

"_Hi Annie, nice to hear from you; you seem excited."_

"For some reason this phone told me who was calling. I didn't know phones could do that, that's so cool."

"_Where's Jeff?"_

"In the shower," Annie made sure the bathroom door was closed before continuing on. "Abed, Jeff and I got married."

"_I figured you would; it's the titular plot."_

'Titular plot?' Annie mouthed in confusion. "Anyway, I've given this some thought and…I'm giving up witchcraft."

"_Samantha said the same thing when she married the first Darrin but that didn't last."_

"Are Samantha and Darrin friends of yours?"

"_Annie, I don't think you can keep that promise. You've been a witch all of your life and have never done anything mortal for extended periods of time."_

"Well, I might use magic in emergencies."

"_Regardless, I wish you luck in not using witchcraft and in your marriage- would should be miserable but for some unknown reason won't be. My theory is that because the cursee married the curser the curse will be over…that or the ever clichéd true love conquers all thing."_

"Thank you for the well wishes Abed, I think."

"_I just wanted to make sure Jeff was awake. Tell him I say hi."_

"I will."

"_Bye Annie."_

"Bye Abed," Annie ended the conversation and set the phone back on the nightstand. She thought about last night when she and Jeff came back from the hotel. Annie had completely forgotten about her magic bubble over the food and was afraid that Jeff would notice. As if by chance, he didn't (having been distracted by a call of nature). She was able to remove it before Jeff had any idea, but the nagging 'what if' scenario lingered in her mind.

The way Annie saw it there were two options. She could tell her new husband that she was a witch and hope he would understand and accept her. Or, she could completely give up magic. Though by giving up magic she took the risk of never being able to see her friends again. Then there was a question of what to do in emergencies and magic was the only possible solution. Plus, she couldn't be sure how Jeff would react if he found out she was a witch.

Giving it some more thought Annie realized Abed was right. She spent her whole life using magic. Why should she stop just because she married a mortal? Now more than ever Annie wished she knew what her mother did in this situation. But Annie wanted to experience mortal life if she was going to spend the rest of it with Jeff.

Wasn't she?

_NO! _Annie shook her head. _No, I have to tell Jeff._

Jeff came out of the bathroom in a bathrobe whistling and drying his hair with a hotel towel. "Morning," without giving it a conscious thought, he gave Annie a good morning kiss. "Whaddya say we get some breakfast and we spend the day together?"

Annie gave him a funny look. "Doing what?"

"Whatever. I'm going to take you on a magic carpet ride and we are going to see a whole new world."

"Magic carpets? Those things still exist?"

"Maybe we can squeeze in a classic, well-known children's movie or two. I know we can't experience everything the outside world has to offer you; but at least we can do the fun stuff."

"You don't have to do this for me."

"I want to. And maybe if I spent the day relaxing and having a good time I'll forget that there is a good choice that Alan is going to ruin me in court on Monday."

"That sounds nice." Jeff tousled her hair and headed back to the bathroom. "Jeff!"

"Yeah?"

Annie changed her mind. "Thank you for the good morning kiss."

"Yeah, I have no idea why I did that…but you're welcome," he closed the door behind him.

_I'll tell him eventually._

…

"Through here," a police officer unlocked the door to the holding cells.

"Thank you," Shirley thanked as she made her way down. This was an uncomfortable situation for her, but she had sort of been notified (i.e. Pierce accidentally crystal balling the incident while she was searching for him and Annie) and it was her responsibility to get him.

"Hello Honey," Pierce slurred when he saw her.

"Arrested for public intoxication," she 'tsked' three times. "Pierce Hawthorne I am ashamed."

"Hey," he beckoned for her to come close, "these bozos don't believe that I can turn them into kangaroos. Can you help me remember the spell?"

"That alcohol has already affected your brain. I'm debating whether or not a full night in here is good for you."

"Oh come on Honey."

"Excuse you?"

"You wouldn't leave your husband in jail would you?"

"Oh, ew," Shirley covered her mouth. "I just threw up in my mouth a little. Let's get one thing clear: if you ever need a pretend wife, don't you ever call on me."

"I love you too, Sweetheart."

"I'm leaning heavily towards keeping you here overnight. No, no I need your help."

"Ooh, my loving wife needs my help."

"Knock it off with the charade you drunken fool! Pierce, Annie's gone."

"What? Our beautiful biracial daughter with blonde hair is missing?"

"How much of that alcohol have you had?"

"Just one, honest."

"Uhm hmm. I'll get you out of here and whip up something to get you all sobered up so we can find Annie."

"That's why I married you A-bed."

Grimacing in disgust, Shirley suddenly had a thought. "Actually, I think a night here might be of better use."

"What? Why? Don't we have to find what's-her-name?"

"Enjoy your stay."

"WHAT?"

"Ta-ta," Shirley waved goodbye to Pierce as she approached the guard. "I've decided to let him stay here another night."

"Fine by me," the guard shrugged and opened the door.

"Thank you," she made sure everything was alright before pulling out her crystal ball. As she predicted, she didn't get a hold of Britta. So she left a message. "Hello Britta, I found Pierce. Obviously, Pierce was enjoying his experience in the modern world that I think we should keep letting him. While I visited Pierce, I had a thought. Now, it might not seem like something I would usually do or think of, but hear me out. I think we should take the day off from searching for Annie. Don't get me wrong, I am incredibly worried about the poor. It's just…we haven't taken time to get to know our new world like Pierce and I'm sure Annie is out there experiencing it for herself. I think I'm going to get some much needed sleep first. I figured you're doing the same, but I wanted to take a day off. If anything does happen, I'm sure we can fix it all the next time we get together. Ta-ta," Shirley ended the message. "I feel like baking some brownies."

* * *

**Thought it'd be over soon, did ya? Well, there are some other things that need to be accomplished before they find Annie. Plus a drunken Pierce in jail is a throwback to the movie.**

**Speaking of the movie I feel there's something else that should be addressed: When Wally (the descendant) didn't get married to the other woman, he ran off with Jennifer (the witch) and the next scene that shows them together he's calling her 'Darling' and kissing her and they elope. Seriously. And after they get married they live happily ever after even though he's been cursed with miserable marriages. WTF? I never understood that. Just because he married the witch who cursed him does that mean the curse is automatically broken? Okay, maybe you can argue there was a bit of friction in the marriage when he learned she was a witch but that quickly subsided. But yeah, that's the best guess I have for why. But just in case, I took the **_**Once Upon a Time**_** route and did the true love thing as well. I mean, Jeff's love for Annie is progressing and they only just got married so it's too soon to say if he'll be miserable.**

**Don't forget there's a new Community tonight at eight where we get to meet Jeff's dad. I is excited*!**

***And yes, I know that's a grammatical fail.**


	9. And They're Off

**The last episode was just…okay, no spoilers or anything but I just wanna give them all a big hug. Joel McHale, man, Joel McHale. I give a lot of credit that the man I watched in that episode was the guy I sat through the entire **_**Spy Kids 4**_** movie for (the things I watch for the actors, man). Also, I may or may not have referenced the Soup yet- the show Joel is best known for outside of **_**Community**_**- though I think I did with the Kardashian bit in the last chapter.**

**Moving on…**

* * *

"Abed!" Britta met up with Abed at the kitchen table where he was eating buttered noodles. "Abed, does Shirley know about what we did?"

"I'm sure if she thought we were up to something she'd come over here and read our thoughts trying to get an answer out of us," he replied. "She probably would get one out of Troy."

"Why Troy?"

"He doesn't do well under pressure. Why'd you ask that question?"

"I got a message from Shirley," Britta handed Abed her crystal ball and Abed watched the message. "Do you think this is a ruse?"

"I think you should take her advice and take the day off. It's Saturday, people enjoy themselves on Saturday."

"What do they do?"

Abed shrugged. "I dunno; I'm not like most people."

"Okay then what do you usually do?"

"It honestly depends on what I feel like doing or what I can actually do," Abed turned his head toward the spellbook, which was resting on the coffee table in the living room. "Britta, if that spell I performed on Troy works, do you think we could perform a few other spells."

"I don't see why not. Just so long as we don't do anything to cause attention."

"Cool. Cool, cool, cool."

"Were you thinking of…oh I don't know...practical jokes?" With a small smile on his face, Abed stared of into the distance. Confused, Britta looked behind her. "What are you staring at?"

"I sense a montage is upon us."

"A what?"

"A montage: it shows what happens throughout the various stories to a song or piece of music. Usually it's added for length purposes or so they can do something they've established before getting back to the actual story."

"Who's they? What are you…why are you talking like this?"

"Don't worry, it won't affect us."

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"

…

In all honesty, there wasn't really anything super eventful about their day. Pierce spent his locked in a jail cell, still drunk. He constantly yelled for his freedom and loudly spoke of how he could turn everyone into various animals. The men in other cells spent their day yelling at Pierce to shut up or be quiet because trying to ignore him proved to be difficult. Of course when all the alcohol consumption caught up with him, payback made Pierce the bitch.

Dean Pelton's day consisted of buying pet supplies and toys (although some of them were for him). He also apologized for his unexpected, hard to explain absence at the community college and made up excuses on Duncan and Chang's behalves. Somehow, he also managed to squeeze in yoga. Changmatian sulked in Pelton's apartment all day plotting his revenge, Duncan Cat just lazed around the apartment trying to get used to his surroundings and animal form. At some point the human-animal hybrids went through Craig's personal stuff- they were bored and couldn't leave the house what else were they supposed to do? In addition to some pretty revealing spring break photos, they came across a shrine devoted to the dean's former neighbor. Pictures, pieces of garbage, a ripped fabric from a shirt, fan art, and an anatomically correct Craig Pelton doll lying beside an anatomically correct Jeff Winger doll. After that discovery they spent hours trying to figure out how to turn on the television without thumbs.

Shirley didn't spend her day doing things she considered fun after learning all she could about what she missed in the last three centuries and two decades. She also volunteered at a few places like the animal shelter, the homeless shelter, and little Tiffany Kelley's homemade Girl Scout cookie stand in front of the Kelley family house. While exploring, Shirley had also seen what was supposed to be a mugging, but the old woman started beating the young man with her walker until he was on the ground in a fetal position crying. That's when Shirley decided to do some more studying…some studying in self-defense. She took a few martial arts class, learned the proper way to use pepper spray and a taser, and even went to a firing range and learned how to properly use a gun (which somehow gave her a strange feeling of delight).

Britta, Troy, and Abed spent their day together. Britta taught them some little miscellaneous spells that hardly did much and didn't require potions, they each went broomstick surfing, and pulled some harmless pranks without getting caught using magic. Troy and Abed also caught Britta up on some things they felt she needed to know about the twenty-first century, made her watch the first few episodes of Inspector Spacetime, and took her to some fun places like the arcade, the movies, the mall, _Best Buy_, they just had a good time showing her the city of Greendale.

Jeff, however, did not take Annie to Greendale. He decided to take Annie somewhere to have fun, have food, be social, and even experience a lost childhood was…a theme park. Okay, granted it wasn't Disneyland or anything but it was good enough for Annie. Jeff's promise that everything he said would happen happened. Annie had fun, food, met some new people, learned some social queues, and yeah she seemed like a little kid. And it made Jeff happy knowing that he had made her happy. Like a good husband, he stayed with her the entire time. He rode all the rides with her (some more often than necessary), they shared a bumper car to avoid the competition of hitting each other, they ate their meals together, he won prizes for her at the games, he paid for everything, hell he even held her hair back when she threw up in the trash can after riding _Speed Freak _directly after a mid-afternoon snack.

And there was some sort of moment that happened as they were slowly rising to the very top of the incredibly high _Demon Drop_. Jeff, who refused to admit he didn't like being up so high, refused to look down instead he looked at Annie. He watched her awe as she took in all of the sights around her, a wide smile spread across her face. Then they looked at each other. The sun semi-setting gave Annie a sort of glowing aura as she stared at him with her expressive eyes and wide smile. The sudden stop caused Jeff to reach for Annie's hand. She asked if he was scared, he faked a laugh and denied he wasn't keeping up a false bravado, and she assured him it was okay to be scared and that she loved him. In that quick instant, Jeff had experienced something he had never experienced with any other person. He was truly in love. But before he could tell her he loved her back the ride immediately dropped them down a couple hundred feet at nearly ninety miles an hour. So Jeff told her he loved her once he was safely off the ride and the contents of his mid-afternoon snack in the nearest trash receptacle. And even though he had just thrown up, she kissed him anyway. There they stood in the center of the theme park lips pressed against each other, their arms wrapped around one another.

Oh yeah, Jeff Winger was in love.

…

During his evening shower back at his house, Annie frantically called Abed with Jeff's phone. "Abed, I really need to talk to you."

"_Annie?" _Abed wasn't the person on the other end of the line.

"Britta?"

"_Oh my God, Annie I've been worried sick not knowing where you are. How are you?"_

"Why are you answering Abed's phone?"

"_Because it rang. Yeah, I know about phones now isn't that great? Oh my God, I just had one of the best days of my life with these guys. I gotta tell you about this prank we pulled where I disguised Troy as an old woman and Abed as a mugger. Well before Abed could do anything this actual mugger-"_

"Jefftoldmehelovedme!" Annie quickly blurted out.

Britta's laughed seemed force. _"What?"_

"Jeff told me he loved me," Annie responded with sorrow in her tone.

"_That's what I thought you said. Did he mean it when he said it?"_

"I'm pretty sure he did."

"_Crap in a hat."_

"Britta, what do I do? Should I tell him that I'm a…you-know-what?"

"_Annie, I can't make this decision for you. You're just gonna have to trust your instincts on this one."_

"But what if-"

"_Things have changed Annie. Abed taught me there are people accepting of witches and Jeff might be one of those people. Sure he might not be as extreme as some of them but…you get where I'm going with this, right?"_

"UGH!" Annie fell back onto the bed. "It's times like this I wish my mom could help me."

"_Your mother was an amazing woman. Don't forget she was friends with me and Shirley, not just Pierce. You never got to know her Annie, but you'd be proud to know you're just like her."_

Annie placed her hand over her heart. "I am?"

"_Yeah, you really are."_

"Thank you for saying that."

"_Well, I mean it. Try to think like her you know. If you were your mom and Jeff was your dad, what would you do in this situation? I don't know if this helps but-"_

"Britta?"

"_Yeah?"_

"Did you know my father?" Annie didn't get a response right away. "Britta?"

"_No, I didn't, not personally anyway. The only time I've ever seen your father was when I went into the village with Shirley."_

"Did you ever see him interact with my mom?"

"_Yeah,"_ Britta let out a lovingly sigh, _"you could tell they really, truly loved each other."_

"I have to know; did my dad know if my mom was a witch?"

"_I can't answer that Annie."_

"Why not?"

"_Because I don't have the answer. I mean yeah, Shirley and I spied on them when they were at home and we never once saw her use magic."_

"So she didn't tell him?"

"_Well, there's another possibility that she did tell him but then promised not to use witchcraft."_

"Oh, right."

"_Abed and Troy should be finishing up in the photo booth now. I'll talk to you again some other time."_

"Okay, bye Britta."

"_Bye Annie, and congratulations." _Britta ended the call.

Annie sat the phone down on the bedside table and fell back onto the bed not knowing what to do now. Yes, she had wanted Jeff to fall in love with her but she didn't expect it would be this soon.

"_And then I saw her face_," Jeff's was now singing- yes singing- as he stepped out of the bathroom. "_Now I'm a believer. Not a trace_," Annie couldn't help but giggle. It wasn't that it was bad (it was tolerable at most) but it was new to her and she didn't know what to make of it. "_Of doubt in my mind_. _I'm in love_," Jeff sat down beside Annie, "_Ooh_," this made her laugh even louder. "My singing's not that bad is it?"

"I didn't know you sang."

"I don't. I guess being in love makes you do weird things." Jeff kissed his wife. "You okay?"

"Huh?"

"You look a little pale. Do you need an inhaler or something?"

"No! No, I'm fine. I was just thinking…"

"Hold that thought," Jeff got up and went over to his suitcase. "I was doing some thinking too."

"Oh yeah, what about?"

"About what you said about not having a place to stay and yada, yada, yada other things."

"I can stay here with you?"

"What about your friends finding you?"

"Well, I'm sure Britta is more understanding but-"

"Ah-ah-ah I don't want to take any chances with them when it concerns you. Now that I've found you I never want to lose you."

"You mean that?"

"If I didn't then why would I get you a house?" He showed Annie a paper with pictures of a two story house, the house's interior, and the front and back yards.

"You didn't?"

"A-yup!"

"How did you-"

"I've got a friend in the realtor biz who bought this house when he was divorcing his wife. For some unknown reason they got back together and he moved back in with her. He just put this house up for sale on Tuesday and I made a phone call yesterday and…I think you can figure it out from here."

"I can't believe you did this."

"You couldn't very well stay here. I mean, yeah this place is nice but this is a two-bedroom townhouse; it doesn't have much to offer. Plus there's that whole deal with your friends."

"Jeff-"

"This house is ours now, Babe. We just go into the realtor's office and sign a few things and then we can move in. We can do it all in one day if you want."

"This is just too good to be true," Annie gave him a great, big hug. "Thank you."

"It's just a house; it's not that big of a deal."

"It means a lot to me, Jeff."

"Yeah well _you_ mean a lot to me, Annie."

"And I feel the same about you but…"

"But what?" Annie sighed and looked away. "Annie?"

"There are some things I have to tell you that I just can't."

"Don't ever feel that way. You can tell me anything; even if it's boring, girly, emotion crap I'll listen or pretend that I'm listening."

"Jeff-" Annie couldn't tell him.

"I know things are moving kind of fast for us and it's okay to be scared. I'm scared too, Hell I'm terrified. But the way I feel about you…I've never felt that way about anybody."

"I know, it's the same for me too. But it's the way I fell in love with you that's different from how you fell in love with me. I'm not saying I regret it because I'm glad I fell in love with you. The way it happened for me just felt forced and for you it wasn't."

"What are you talking about?"

"I…" Annie couldn't tell him. "…I'm tired. It's been a long day; can we go to bed?" Jeff nodded and they both got into bed.

"How bad is your secret? Did you escape a lifetime prison sentence?"

"Define prison," Annie muttered under her breath.

"What?"

"Nothing!"

"It sounded like-"

"I promise I'll tell you later. I mean, I have to tell you eventually."

"I coulda swore I hard you say-"

Annie quickly kissed him to shut him up. "Goodnight Jeff."

Jeff didn't say anything for the rest of the night.

…

Troy was awoken by some bumps in the night followed by a quiet, "Dammit!" As expected, Abed slept through this- Abed could sleep through anything. Logically, the only other person who uttered the word was Britta or a burglar.

It was Britta much to Troy's relief. He reluctantly got up to face the threat and was surprised to find her trying to escape out the window with a broom. "Britta?"

Britta looked up at Troy with surprise. "Crap."

"Britta, what's going on?"

"I have to go."

Troy's face fell. "Forever?"

"Oh no! No, not forever. There's just something I have to do back home."

"Back home in the spellbook?"

"Back home in the northeast where we lived before the spellbook. There are some things I need to find and I don't know how long it will take."

"What if Shirley comes looking for you? And what if I accidentally ruin everything with my thoughts?"

"You won't, I trust you."

"Don't trust me on this Britta."

"If she does come by don't give her the spellbook. Hide it or something. If she finds it she'll probably give it to Pierce. Who knows, maybe you and Abed could use it to your advantage."

"Can I come with you?"

"What? Why?"

"I dunno, I guess I wanna go on an adventure with you."

"Aww, that's sweet. No! No, I can't let you go. This is something I have to do by myself for Annie. As mean as it sounds, I'm just afraid you're going to hold me back."

"That does sound mean."

"I'm sorry."

"But I understand why. This is important and you have to get it done ASAP."

"I have no idea what ASAP means but I assume it means fast."

"As soon as possible."

"Right, got it."

"And Britta…"

"Yeah Troy?"

"Good luck."

"Thank you," she and Troy hugged for what seemed like a long period of time before she pulled away. "Sorry, I don't know why that was…"

"Nah! Nah, it's cool. We're cool."

"Cool," she climbed out to the fire escape and mounted her broom. Before takeoff, she turned to Troy. His reassuring nod was another reason for Britta to smile another genuinely real smile.

"Have a safe journey," Troy waved. With a quick wave back, Britta was off. "Hurry back!"

…

The sound of continuous rapping on the door would usually wake someone up but Craig Pelton was another exception. Too enamored with his dream of a shirtless Jeff riding a pink Pegasus, Pelton was unaware of Duncan Cat scratching at the front door.

Changmatian, however, was aware. "Just because have the ability to do that doesn't mean they should!"

"I have to get out of here!" Duncan lamented. "I have got to get into my office."

"Your psych office? Why?"

"I have a list of students and patients there. Some of my patients- even though I'm not at liberty to discuss who- have peculiar interests in witchcraft, the occult, and for some reason a cult devoted Fonzie from _Happy Days_."

"I think I might know that last kid."

"I organize the students by name and by peculiarity. Their addresses are in the school computer. I find the student, the peculiarity, the address, and I should be back to normal."

"Take me with you."

"No."

"How can you even be sure it's real witchcraft? Even if it is, it might not work. You'd need a guinea pig."

"And I do like when bad things happen to you."

"I see no reason for me not to go. I could act as your protection from other strays too. It could be like Homeward Bound, but the other dog died."

"Or got lost."

"It'd be more better if he died. That dog was old."

"Perhaps I can squeeze in a psychological session with you once this is over and Duncan with. Oh great, now I'm doing that thing!" Duncan shuddered. "I spend more time with you people than I should."

* * *

**Yeah, I kinda got lazy. I wracked my brain wondering what I could put in here because I have a major plot point needed for the next chapter. In the end, I couldn't exactly put what I wanted into writing the way I hoped. So that's why there's like a montage thing.**

**Feel free to pick your own music if you'd like. Speaking of music, Jeff is singing part of _"I'm a Believer" _originally by the Monkees but it was also covered by Smash Mouth for the first _Shrek_ movie.**

**Hmm, what's Britta up to?**


	10. The Answers that You Seek

**Life does not like me right now. There's that thing I mentioned with my dad but now things have happened on my mom's side of the family and close friends like family (and someone I never met that she takes care of at work but I learned this through my sister). Thursday night mom comes home and says she can't take any more bad news: she tells me that Uncle (technically my great-uncle) Buzz had a massive stroke, she tells Tiffany (my little sister) Friday morning one of her 'clients' had a stroke- and then I tell Tiffany about our great-uncle because Mom didn't tell her about that-, and that my mom's best friend's mother who happens to also be a longtime friend wouldn't make it through the night. Sadly, Sally passed away around 10:30 Friday night- even sadder Sally's daughter Stacy, my mom's best friend, couldn't get there on time. And don't get me started on the sink fiasco that could have been avoided had my parents placed a maintenance call BEFORE the sink broke!**

**UGH! Thank God I started doing this fic. It's very therapeutical. But I've gotten in the habit of uploading a chapter a day so if for some reason there isn't like there wasn't yesterday…now you'd know why. And it's strange; writing this fic has been so helpful that I have yet to get a case of writer's block. I mean sure there's a question of how to word something or dance around another thing but this is very new for me.**

**I can't thank you guys enough for the nice reviews and feedback. I'm truly humbled that many of you like this when even I have doubts about this myself (I'm my own worst critic). I feel like quoting Colin Mochrie from a "world's worst" game of **_**Whose Line is it Anyway**_

"_**You tolerate me! You really, really tolerate me!"**_

**Oh, the sink did get fixed that night...**_**my**_** night for dishes of course.**

**Okay, enough with the long semi-rant that I needed to get off my chest. Here is a chapter that I promise will be even longer than the intro.**

* * *

Usually in most circumstances Abed would be the one staring off into the distance just waiting for something to happen. This time, it was Troy. Okay, technically Abed was staring at his staring friend, but every once in a while Abed would glance at his food and what not. He never once bothered Troy. Once Abed observed the guest's bed's absence he deduced why Troy was staring off.

Once Abed had been awake for nearly three hours, he then decided to join Troy on the fire escape. "You have romantic feelings for her."

"Yeah."

"I can tell. Britta's pretty cool, and her being romantically involved with one of us wouldn't ruin our friendship."

"It's more than that Abed. Britta is like a thousand year old witch and I'm a twenty-three year old regular guy."

"So there's an age difference."

"I don't mind that; it's the witch part. If I do ask her out and things do get serious...she can't turn me magic, Abed. And if I wanted her to stay with us forever I wouldn't want her to give up her magic," Troy sighed. "It sucks when you have romantic feelings."

"Personally, I don't mind the age difference either- I'd rather be in a relationship with an older woman than a younger one. And marrying a witch would be kinda cool."

"It'd be like _Bewitched_ except real…and hopefully the husband wouldn't be recasted. Maybe if Samantha got a new husband…"

"They were a loving couple, a divorce wouldn't make sense. I like to think the second Darrin is a result of a spell gone awry."

"I don't know I'd do without you Abed."

"Play football."

"Okay, I know one thing I'd do without you. And I can't thank you enough for helping get rid of the nightmares."

"Just think: if I didn't order that specific spellbook none of this would be happening. We would have never met the witches, Britta wouldn't practically be living with us, and that whole thing with Jeff and Annie never would have happened."

"Yeah and Toucan Sam would still be gouging out the Lucky Charms leprechaun's eyes out with his beak," Troy's eyes went wide in a frightened realization. "Why did I put that image back in my brain?"

"I also came out here because Jeff's been trying to reach us."

"What does he want?"

Abed shrugged. "I respect other people's privacies. I thought it would be rude just to sneak onto your phone."

"You're so polite," Troy read over his messages. "Jeff's moving?"

"It's about time; I still get an uncomfortable vibe from his dead uncle's townhouse."

"Really? I thought I was the only one."

"Nope."

"Anyway, Jeff wants our help with his stuff. He says we're the only ones he can trust with this."

"I'll go; you can stay and wait for her."

"Britta said she had to do something for Annie."

"But she won't know where Annie is unless she goes to you."

"But I won't know where Annie is unless I go with you."

"I'll text you the new address, maybe send you some stay here, I'll go by myself."

"You'd really do that for me?"

"What are best friends for?"

Troy hugged his best friend. "I love you man."

"I know."

…

It was times like this that Dean Pelton was grateful the public library was open on Sundays. "Hi, yeah, I was wondering if I could get a pass to the library's copy machine room."

"Sure," the librarian's assistant readied the key for Craig.

"You're not gonna ask why?"

"I don't care so please don't-"

"See, I'm supposed to be watching these two animals but earlier when I opened my apartment door they just ran out. I can't find them but it's very important that I do. I regret not taking pictures so I drew their caricatures."

"Did I ask to hear your life story?" this shut Pelton up. "There's a ten minute time limit in the copy machine room but for you, you have five."

"Well," Craig took the key, "someone isn't a morning person." He whistled his way over toward the copy machine room. En route, he happened to notice a woman in the corner reading. The peculiar thing about this was it was as if she was trying to hide. He opted to get his copies first before disturbing the woman. So he did. Pelton carried the stack of paper with him over toward the woman. "Excuse me," when the woman let out a startled scream and dropped the book, he let out a startled scream and dropped his papers.

This earned a much clichéd "Ssh," from an elderly librarian nearby.

Craig started gathering up his missing pets posters. "I am really sorry."

She grabbed her book before he could see the title. "Don't you know you shouldn't sneak up on a woman like that?"

The dean pointed at her. "Do I know you?" he tilted his head. "You seem familiar…like I just met you."

"It's possible."

"You don't go to Greendale Community College?"

"No."

"And you're not in my yoga class either."

"Does this have a point?"

"But I can't shake this feeling that your name is Shirley."

She narrowed her eyes at him suspiciously. "My name is Shirley." Shirley remembered him. "You were at Pierce's."

"Technically the house belongs to Duncan."

"The poor sucker Pierce turned into a cat?"

"Yeah, I took him home with me and Changmatian."

"Changmatian?"

"Part Chang, part Dalmatian."

"What's a Chang?"

"Yeah, I'm not sure." An idea occurred in Pelton's mind. "You can help me find them!"

"Excuse you?"

"You're the only one who knows they're not really animals. And I know you're a…_witch_," Pelton mouthed the last part so no one heard. "Couldn't you like use a magic GPS deal or something like what you did with the barrier?"

"Well…I suppose I could use a tracking spell if I had something that had their fingerprints or hair. Then the logical thing to do next would be to take them to Pierce so he can undo what he did."

"Couldn't you do it without that guy?"

"You can't undo a full-blooded warlock's transformation spells, not even with…" it dawned on Shirley what she needed. "I need to get that spellbook back!"

"From who? Pierce?"

Shirley stomped her foot when she remembered something. "Dang it I left that man in jail! Alright, alright now before we do anything else, I have to figure out what needs to be done."

"Ooh, can I make you a to-do list! I love making to-do lists."

"You are one strange man."

…

"Hey R2-D2 where's C3-PO?" this was Jeff's way of greeting Abed.

"Troy needed to do something important," Abed lied.

Jeff let out an obviously sarcastic gasp. "Without his boyfriend?"

Abed was unaffected by this subtle insult toward him. "So you bought a house. It's about time."

"I just signed for it and got the keys. I asked you to come by earlier and help Annie pack but apparently she didn't need any help." When Abed followed Jeff inside, he took in the view of packed boxes all along the townhouse.

"Everything in the house is all packed in record time."

"Isn't that awesome? I don't know how she did this in thirty minutes."

"I've got a few ideas how."

"Start loading these in your car robot," Jeff ordered. Abed said nothing and took boxes as Jeff went upstairs.

Annie was in the master bedroom pacing and occasionally biting her nails in anxiety. "If I tell him tomorrow he might not be focused for the last day of his trial. But I can't tell him tonight either. Calm down Annie! Maybe he won't believe you."

"Penny for your thoughts?"

Annie screamed and jumped in fear. She put her hand over her heart. "Jeff, don't scare me like that!"

"Sorry. Look Annie if you're stressing over this secret thing why don't you just tell me?"

"Right now?"

"No, obviously not right now, Abed's here."

"Would it make a difference if I told you with him here?"

"Whatever you have to tell me is like scary important to you. I want you to tell me when it's just the two of us and you're more comfortable. Okay?"

"Okay."

"I mean, you're gonna have to tell me eventually; you said so yourself."

"I know, I know. It's just a matter of when and how."

"How?"

"What I have to tell you might not be so easy to explain, or easy for you to understand."

Jeff went over to his wife and put his hands on her shoulders. "I promise that whatever it is you tell me, I'll understand."

"Don't make that promise Jeff."

"Try not to think about this now. Let's focus on getting some of this stuff in the car for the move." Annie just nodded and picked up a nearby box. "Oh and sorry you had to see those magazines under the bed. I swear I keep them for the articles."

…

"Duncan," Changmatian sniffed around for Duncan Cat. He turned his back on the feline and then Duncan disappeared. Changmatian's nose indicated Duncan Cat was nearby, however. "Why can't humans have noses like this?" He kept moving forward until he noticed a shadow in the corner. "There you are you sneaky bastard! I…oh my God!" Chang turned away in disgust.

Duncan quickly put his leg down in embarrassment. "You uh…you weren't supposed to see that."

"Why? How?"

"I don't know! I felt this sudden urge to be clean. I had no idea how flexible cats were."

"What possessed you to do that?"

"I don't know! One minute I was thinking of finding my way back home and the next minute I'm thinking of eating cat food out of a cat dish!" Duncan Cat sighed. "I'm keeping up appearances but underneath I'm really MEOW."

"Really meow?"

Duncan screamed. "I'm becoming more and more feline by the minute!"

"Screw the original plan. We gotta find that old wizard before WOOF!" Changmatian backed away in horror. "I'm becoming more feline by the minute too!"

"Canine."

"IT MATTERS!"

"Yes, it does you wanker!"

"Duncan."

"What now?"

"Get away from me."

"As much as I would love that I need you to venture with me. Why are you so interested in getting rid of me?"

"I have an uncontrollable urge to start chasing you."

"Yes! Yes! Work with the urge. The uncontrollable ones can often…why are you staring at me like that?" Changmatian inched closer while Duncan Cat backed away. "Chang?"

Chang stopped, sat on the ground, and smiled. "Woof."

And even though it was just a random, quiet little word with no purpose; it was still enough to send Duncan Cat running and meowing in fear with Changmatian on his tail.

…

"Don't nag me now Shirley," Pierce begged as Craig held a bag of ice over his head. "I've learned my lesson."

"Yeah I bet you have," Shirley muttered as she finished pouring him a glass. "Drink this," the glass flew its way over to Pierce, "you'll feel better." Pierce did as she was told. "Of course this will put you to sleep for a few hours once you finish drinking it."

Pierce finished drinking. "It'll what?"

"Never mind."

"I could've swore you…" and Pierce was out like that.

Pelton waved his hand in Pierce's face to make sure he was asleep. "Wow, that worked fast."

Shirley took charge. "His sleep should give us enough time to do what we have to do. You start looking for your animal friends and I'll join you later."

"Where are you going?"

"I have to pick up a book and a Britta."

"Like the water filtering system?"

"Let's focus on one thing at a time skinny man."

"Fair enough." Shirley waved her hand. Pelton was unaware why, so he waved back. "Um, hello to you too."

"I put up a barrier spell in case he wakes up. I ain't takin' no chances with this man-child."

"Good thinking."

"I'll meet up with you later."

"Wait! Aren't you gonna do a tracking spell thing on Changmatian and Duncan Cat?"

"I will when I get back to help you. I shouldn't be too long." Shirley tossed him a pocket-sized crystal ball similar to the one she had. "Use this to keep in touch with me."

"You don't have a cell phone."

"A what now?"

"Never mind, just do your thing."

"Uhm hmm," Shirley grabbed a broom, headed outside, and flew off.

…

Troy was holding binoculars as he sat on the fire escape listening to music on his headphones. "Where are you Britta?" he asked himself. "What could you possibly be doing?" He smiled at the song change. "Ooh, _Daybreak_," he started humming along.

Meanwhile, Shirley had poofed herself into the apartment. "Troy! Abed! Sorry for poofing in so unexpectedly but I'm kind of in a hurry." She looked around the house. "Boys? Boys, I'm taking the spellbook back!" Shirley picked up the spellbook on the coffee room table in the living room. "Is Britta here? Britta?" Shirley stomped her foot. "Where else could that girl be?" Shirley tried to track her with magic, but Britta had used a tracking blocker spell. "Great, now I gotta find two witches! Honestly, why do I have to play mother to these people?" Shirley kept muttering in lament as she flew out of the opposite window from Troy.

…

Much like Saturday, the day wasn't much of an event. Everyone spent their day moving, searching, chasing, or sleeping. Again, it wasn't until nighttime that things started to progress.

At least on Jeff and Annie's front. Once the moving van got there, the furniture was loaded in along with a few other small boxes. So all in all, the actual moving took one trip. Abed then decided it would be easier to stay and help them unpack and maybe order some pizza. And seeing as how Jeff was a total perfectionist on things, he didn't exactly make the unpacking easy or fun. Still, they managed to get everything done before eight-thirty and get their pizza by nine.

"Good job guys," Jeff complimented. "It actually looks livable."

"It is a pretty cool house," Abed commentated, "though it seems kinda big for two people."

"We'll get a goldfish." Jeff opened a can of beer.

"One would assume a newlywed couple buys a house like this so that they can start expanding on their family." This comment made Jeff spit out his drink and choke. "It's just an observation."

Annie looked at Abed, then at Jeff. "Does Abed mean…like…have a baby?"

Jeff clapped his hands together. "How about that goldfish? Hey, goldfish die fast; we might as well get two."

"Jeff, do you want a family with me?"

Jeff started rubbing the back of his neck in apprehension. "I dunno…maybe…sometime in the future. It's not necessarily a law that married people have to reproduce."

"Is that a yes or a no?"

"It's a not right now. Sure, I'd like to have kids with you someday but…" Jeff didn't finish his sentence because Annie suddenly ran off. "Annie?" he followed her to the bathroom, but she locked the door. "Annie?"

"I need to be alone right now!"

"Good choice with the bathroom then."

"Please go away!"

Jeff sighed and rejoined Abed in the kitchen. "Thanks a lot Abed." Jeff looked back at the bathroom door. "I wonder what's gotten into her?"

Abed swallowed his pizza. "She has a secret Jeff. She probably feels that her secret has an effect on having on a family with you."

"How do you know that?"

"I know her secret."

"What?"

"It's kind of hard not to know in my case."

"I should be miffed by this but strangely I'm not. Abed, what is it?"

"I can't tell you. This is something Annie has to tell you for herself," Abed instantly sat upright. "My Troy senses are tingling."

There was a knock on the front door. "Okay, that is weird on so many levels. And no, I don't want to know how you have a Troy sense." Jeff answered the door. "Hello Troy, and…lady whose name I don't know."

"Britta," Britta pushed past him while carrying a box with a blanket over it. "I need to talk to Annie. Where is she?"

"Good luck with that. She's in the bathroom."

"Oh my God did you say something to her?"

"Do you women have a sixth sense with this kind of thing?"

Britta tapped on the bathroom door. "Annie, it's Britta. I have some things you need to see."

Annie unlocked the bathroom door. She gave Britta a small hug when she saw her, and then led her upstairs to the master bedroom.

"Women!" Jeff slumped in his seat. "How do they know what to do with the emotional stuff? God, it's like they're all witches." Jeff didn't notice Troy and Abed exchange glances.

…

Britta sat on the bed as Annie pulled back the blanket covering the box. Inside the box was a collection of antique looking books and a freaky Norwegian troll doll, which appearance made Annie let out a startled gasp. "God, that thing is still freaky after three hundred twenty years." She sat across from Britta on the bed. "Where did you find this?"

"Buried in what used to be our front yard."

"I remember Pierce put it there to scare people off."

"I guess someone came across it and buried it. Smart thinking on their part."

"Why did you look for this?"

"I thought I'd bring back some souvenirs from my trip back east. I couldn't find anything for Shirley but I did find this for Pierce."

"So all those books are for me?"

"Especially for you."

"Are they fairy tales or spellbooks?"

Britta smiled and handed her a book. "Why don't you read it for yourself?"

Annie gave her a strange look before opening the book. When Annie started to read, she placed her hand to her chest and gasped. "Britta? What…where…wha-"

"Your mom loved to write so Shirley gave her a journal. She filled the first one up in less than a day that we had to buy her a new, bigger one. The one I gave you was her first," Britta passed her another one. "I read them over and numbered them; the number is on the inside cover."

Annie tried hard not to cry. "It's like she's here with me," Annie kept reading, and then let out a dry laugh.

"What's so funny?"

"She didn't like her name."

"Violet was never fond of being named after a flower. Honestly, I would have rather had her name than be named Daisy."

"But then I wouldn't have been named Violet."

"Please. You would have been Lilly."

"Lilly?"

"I never told you this, but I snuck off one night to talk to your mother a few days before you were born. We spent some time together, just the two of us, and she said she tried this thing she heard from a woman in the village where you could determine the gender of your unborn child. It predicted you were going to be a girl."

"Really?"

"I asked what Miles thought of that, but she didn't tell him. Violet only wanted to tell me and Shirley, but she never got the chance to tell Shirley. Your mom said she was going to keep the flower child trend going and name you Lilly. I kind of wish she did, you seem more like a Lilly than you do a Violet. But, Pierce originally named you after your mother, Shirley and I had no say so."

"Miles?"

"Yeah Miles…your dad."

"My father's name was Miles?"

"Is this the first time you've ever heard his name?"

"Yes. Yes, it is. You guys never said his name, and when I asked about him Pierce always avoided the subject and talked more about my mother. Sometimes he would say 'your mother, your namesake, would' blah, blah, blah, blah, blah." This made Britta laugh. "This is the first time I've ever heard my father's name. Miles. My father's name was Miles."

"I wish I could remember his last name for you, but I can't."

"It's okay Britta, you don't have to."

"Maybe I missed it in one of her journals."

"Did you get every single one of them?"

"Your mom filled them in a hope chest and buried them in different locations. She magically marked them so that only witches could find them. But…there's one missing."

"Which one?"

"Her very last one." Annie's face fell a tad "The last few journal collections were never buried so they were sent to different museums around the country, and even a few places in Europe. But I couldn't find the very last one."

"How do you even know?"

"Because I read the second to last one. The last sentence in the last one I found was incomplete."

"Oh."

"But at least you have all the rest."

"And you read them?"

"It was as if I went back in time and my best friend's voice narrated her own words. And you know what?"

"What?"

"My best friend sounded exactly like you."

"Oh Britta," each of them let out a few tears as they embraced each other in a warm hug.

"The boys and I should probably get going."

"Britta, I can't thank you enough for this."

"It was nothing, really," Britta reached for the troll before heading to the door. "Better take this for Pierce."

"Britta!"

Britta turned around. "Yeah?"

"You read over everything?"

"I wanted to find the answer for you."

"Is it in here?"

"It's in the second to last one." Annie was about to speak, but Britta answered the question for her. "No, it didn't get cut out."

"Phew!"

"But if I were you, I'd read everything else first. Who's to say she didn't have the same dilemma as you."

"To tell or not to tell."

"I'll see you later Annie."

"Bye Britta, and thanks again."

"Don't mention it," Britta went downstairs, leaving Annie alone with her mother's diaries.

…

"Hello boys," Britta greeted the three men as she made her way into the kitchen.

"Britta," Jeff sounded suspicious, "what did you give my wife?"

"Why do you sound so suspicious?"

"I'm not," Britta raised an eyebrow to him, "I'm curious."

"Let's just say I gave her something to guide her."

"Guide her in what?" Britta said nothing and set the troll on the table. The next response everyone got was a frightened, high pitch scream followed by Troy running out of the room in fear. Jeff glanced at the troll, the scared Troy, then back at the troll. "Uh...did Troy run out in fear of a doll?"

"That troll doll is creepy," Abed noted. "Is it from Norway?"

"Yeah," Britta eyed Abed funny, "how did you know that?"

"It's creepy; Norway makes creepy faces on toys."

This time Jeff gave Abed a funny, suspicious look. "How do you know this?"

"I have a whole other life you know nothing about."

"One that involves Norwegian toys with creepy faces?"

Abed shrugged and took another sip of beer.

* * *

**I hope we've gotten some closure. Not only did we find out what Britta was doing, we learned that Annie's parents actually had names. Go figure.**

**I promise, in the next chapter Annie will make her decision about telling Jeff. Until then, yes it's another filler chapter, but yes this does have some important stuff in here.**

**And no, I don't know if Norwegian toys have creepy faces. I just wanted to bring in that freaky troll doll from the **_**Remedial Chaos Theory **_**episode. **


	11. To Tell or Not To Tell

**Thanks for the well-wishes again. Hopefully, things will improve. Like I said, writing helps and it's nice to know you guys are (hopefully) liking what I'm writing.**

**Hmm…surprisingly have nothing else to say or rant about (but if you mention Leonardo DiCaprio not having an Oscar around my sister then you'll get a rant). Just gonna jump right in.**

**But be warned, things might get a little hot. This is where the T rating comes in. For the record I have never experienced anything like that and everything I've learned from scenarios like that are from romantic movies or television drama episodes. It's also my first bedroom scene so bear with me if it's not good enough and what not. And no, no I don't think it's smut. Just getting this out of the way now.**

* * *

A fast reader, Annie had finished nearly of her mother's journals within fifteen minutes (granted, there weren't many pages by today's standards of journals but still.). Most of what she read was about her mother's full-blooded heritage, friendships, and romantic hopes and dreams. It wasn't until about the ninth or tenth journal did Miles Campbell enter the picture. Her mother had described him so well that it was easy for Annie to picture him. Tall, slender build, dark hair, piercing blue eyes; it would be enough to make a woman swoon. Apparently, Annie's mother had made the first move on Mr. Campbell- how eerily strange for that time- and she didn't use magic. The following chronicled their courtship, engagement, elopement, and the eventual discovery of Violet's pregnancy.

And then there was one journal: the last one in Annie's possession and the one that happened to be incomplete. This journal however, seemed different. While the other ones were just Violet's thoughts in writing, this one was not. Yes, it had started out that way but somewhere in the middle it became a letter to Annie.

_Daughter, I am certain that thou will have questions concerning thy true heritage. Tis true I am born of witch and thy father born of mortal. Truly, however, thou will be first of their kind. I know thou will be born with magic, and there are certain rules thou must abide by. I will explain them in greater detail as the years pass and thou art old enough to understand._

_Speaking as your mother I only want what is best for thy daughter, and for thy happiness. Daughter, thou will be brought up with two loving parents despite their different upbringings. When the time comes for thou to marry, I care not whom the gentleman is. If he is born of witch as I am, he will need no explanation of magical heritage. There is the chance that he will not be born of witch much like your own father._

_Never once have I written of the night I told your father that I be born a witch. How strange. I cannot explain everything that happened that night but I can inform thou that I told him after we were wed. I also vowed that I would never practice witchcraft if I were to remain his wife. I felt that telling my husband my secret after we share our marriage bed would be best. If I told him during our courtship who is to say he would not have left me or reported my secret to others. If thou were to ever be in this position I do suggest thou wait until after the wedding night to admit thy origins._

_Miles Campbell is truly a wonderful man. I shall never forget what he spoke to me the night I shared my secret. He did ask for some time alone to gather his thoughts but when he returned he was understanding of my heritage. When I reminded him of my vow never to practice witchcraft he_

"He what?" Annie had reached the end. "What did he do?" She frantically went through the journal again. Letting out a frustrated scream, Annie threw the journal toward the bedroom door...

…as the bedroom door opened. "OW!" Direct hit at Jeff's oddly large forehead.

"Jeff! Oh my God, I'm so sorry."

Jeff rubbed his forehead. "Sheesh, someone didn't like the ending." Jeff looked at the book. "Your friend got you a book?"

"It's a journal Jeff."

Jeff flipped through the pages without actually reading. "What is this _The_ _Diary of Anne Frank_?"

"It was my mother's journal."

"Ah," Jeff quickly closed the journal and handed it back. "Probably wouldn't want me to read it then."

"You can if you want. I finished reading all of them already."

"Them?" she pointed to the other journals scattered in or around a box. "Uh-huh. Looks like I married a bookworm."

"That's not all you married."

"What?"

"Jeff, I'm ready to tell you my secret." Annie took a deep breath as Jeff sat on the bed beside her. "But where to begin?"

"Just start where you think it's best."

"Okay…three hundred and twenty years ago-"

"But to keep it short and try not to make it a history lesson."

"If you want me to tell you then you have to listen to everything I have to say!"

"Did I ever tell you that formidable attitude of yours is a turn on?"

"JEFF!"

"Okay, okay I'm sorry; this is important and I should be more respective."

"Thank you." She struggled to find the words to say, but threw her arms up in exasperation. "I'm just going to come right out and tell you! Jeff," Annie took his large hands in her small, delicate hands, "I'm a witch."

Jeff let out a small laugh. "Is that it?" Annie nodded. "Well I could have figured that out."

"What?"

"I've been under your spell since the moment I met you," Jeff gave her a quick kiss on the lips.

Annie pushed him away before it could linger on. "That's impossible! I'm the one who drank the love potion; I fell in love with you!"

"Well then I'm glad you drank it," he leaned in for another kiss, but she got up and started to pace. "What's the matter?"

"You don't believe me!"

"Annie-"

"Jeff I want to be a good wife to you. Part of being a good wife is being honest with my husband. I am a witch; a real house haunting, broom riding, cauldron stirring, spell casting witch!"

"Who says good wives are honest? I've seen some of those reality shows- mostly because people enjoy watching my misery when I watch realty shows- some of those wives on those shows-"

"UGH!" Annie stomped her foot in anger. "What do I have to do to prove I'm a witch?"

"Annie, you don't have to prove anything to me. So you're in one of those freaky cults Duncan's mentioned and that's okay with me."

"I'm not in a cult."

"Fine, coven."

"I'm not in a coven either! I'm a real witch! I practice magic."

"And you prefer the term witch over magician?"

"Jeff!"

"Annie, I just got Beavis and Butthead to leave with Goldilocks. I'd like to spend a little time with you in our new house before we go to bed."

"That's right you have the last day of trial tomorrow."

"Yeah, I'm just going because I have to. What's the point? Alan's gonna play the defamation of character card and I don't have a good enough speech planned to convince them to side with me."

"What about evidence?"

"Oh believe me, there's tons of evidence against my client. I've made arguments they're doctored or misleading but-"

"I know what I'm going to do!"

"Come again?"

"To prove to you I'm a witch."

"Oh? Okay, what are you going to do?"

"I'm going to use my magic to make sure you win."

"Uh-huh, sure."

"I will! It's not that hard."

"Annie, I doubt it's gonna take witchcraft to help me win."

"But it will, I promise."

"Can we talk about this later?"

"Is there anything else you want to talk about?"

"Yeah. Why did you run off when I said I wanted to have a family with you?"

"That was before you knew I was a witch."

"Annie, can we not talk about this witch thing?"

"But…but…"

"Why don't we just skip the talking and watch a movie or something? You still haven't seen _Aladdin_ yet, we can watch that."

Annie folded her arms. "No!"

"Would you rather watch _The Little Mermaid_?"

"I don't want to watch anything with you."

With an annoyed groan Jeff got off the bed and went over to his wife. "Annie you're not making sense. Why are you so preoccupied with this? Do you have a lifelong obsession with witches?"

"You're in denial!"

"What?"

"Yeah! You're so obsessed with appearances and how you're perceived that you refuse to accept the fact that you married a witch!"

"You're not a witch!"

"How would you know? You said you've been under my spell since the moment you met me!" In the heat of the moment, Annie started taking off her blouse. "A man who suddenly doesn't believe in love has now fallen madly in love with a woman he just met; even though she only fell in love with him because of a love potion spell gone wrong!"

Now Jeff was taking off his shirt. "You precocious little bitch!"

"Don't you mean _witch_?"

"You are not a witch!"

"Oh yeah," by this point Annie had quickly taken off her skirt. "What do I have to do to prove I am?"

Without conscious thought, Jeff was removing his pants. "And what do I have to do to convince you you're not?"

"Nothing! Whether you like it or not I am a witch and I am also your wife!" After that outburst, both of them had stopped fighting and took some time to breathe. "I…I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me."

"Crap. Not even two days into our marriage and we had our first big argument. The Winger curse is staring already."

"I don't want us to fight all the time. I love you Jeff, and I want you to be happy. But I also want you to be accepting of who I am." Annie started gathering her clothes. "I guess I should have given this more time for you to sink in."

"It's my fault too," Annie stared at him. "You're right. I love you too and I should be more accepting of whoever, or whatever you are."

"So you believe I'm a witch?"

"I didn't say that."

"Just take some time to let my news settle."

"With all this build up I figured your secret would be something more drastic like that you were infertile or you were in prison."

"Well I don't think I'm infertile…and I don't know how to explain the prison thing."

"Wait, what?"

"It wasn't an actual prison per se but…no, I'll tell you later."

"Tell me now."

"I'll tell you when you let my first bombshell sink in."

"Tell me about the prison thing or…" Jeff was distracted by something behind Annie. "…what the hell?"

When Annie turned around, Jeff took this opportunity to start tickling her. "Jeff!" She couldn't stop laughing. "Stop!"

"Not until you tell me about the prison."

"No! Stop!" He kept tickling her until she fell backwards and landed on the bed. "What am I going to do with you Jeff Winger?"

"I could think of a few things."

This made Annie let out a small laugh. "We should probably put our clothes back on."

"Why? We're not going anywhere?"

"Then we should put on our pajamas."

"No," he sat on the bed beside her, "I'm comfortable in this."

"You're practically naked."

"Annie, how old are you again?"

"Twenty-two."

"And you've never seen a man naked before?"

"I have…in books."

"In books?"

"It's embarrassing, I know."

"Are you scared?"

"Scared?"

"Of love making?"

"Oh. Honestly, yes. But new things are always scary. I bet it's not scary for you."

"Well yes, I have had sex before and in all honesty it wasn't any big deal."

"Ah."

"But those were just meaningless flings; I don't consider what I did with other women making love or being intimate. I knew I wasn't going to spend the rest of my life with those women so being with them didn't mean anything. But it's different with you and that is scary for me." Annie sniffled as tears welled in her eyes. With a soft smile, Jeff wiped them away. "Everything's going to be okay."

"I know," and that's when Annie made the first move and kissed him. Almost instantly, they were making out. When they reached the point where Jeff was laying against the pillows, Annie stopped. Jeff watched with lustful anticipation as Annie took her bra off and threw it aside. She stared at him for a minute as he gave her that funny look; a look that Annie concluded was a look just for her. Sitting at her level, Jeff gently put his hand around her waist and slowly, but passionately pulled her in for a kiss before the two of them fell to the bed engaged in a loving game of tonsil hockey.

It's safe to say that the witch had a truly magical night that evening.

…

The next morning, Britta was woken up by Troy's high pitched screams of terror. With a laugh, she got up and went to the kitchen. "Sorry Troy," she picked up the troll. "I didn't want to leave this in my room in case it freaked me out."

Troy calmed himself when he saw Britta take the troll off the table. "So you left it on the table?"

"I thought I'd be up before you. I'm sorry," she gave him a meaningless kiss on the cheek as she went to put the troll in her room. "How about I make breakfast before I go to Pierce's?"

But her little gesture had some meaning for Troy who stood there rubbing his cheek. "Thanks, but Abed went to get some…"

"Pancakes?" Troy turned around to see that Britta had snapped up a plate of pancakes.

"I was gonna say donuts, but pancakes are a hundred times better."

"I remembered Shirley said pancakes were our common ground."

"Yeah, that was when we didn't really get along."

"That was what, three days ago now?"

"Friday, Saturday, Sunday," Troy counted with his fingers. "Yeah."

"Three days?"

"Time flies, huh."

"It feels like I've known you and Abed for the longest time."

"Britta, do you mind me asking how old you were when you got bitten by the magical Pierce creature?"

Britta shrugged. "I'm not entirely sure because we never said ages on birthdays in my time. It was always a small cake or big feast to celebrate another pointless anniversary of surviving another stupid year."

"I didn't celebrate birthday's either but that's because I'm a Jehovah's Witness."

"I know I've outlived most maidens in my kingdom. I figured I'm between the ages twenty-eight and thirty-two, maybe thirty-three in October."

"Your birthday's in October?"

"Yep."

"Mine's December 4th."

"Annie's birthday is in December."

"What day in Decemeber?"

"I dunno," Britta shrugged.

"Wow, you're terrible at dates."

"How do you know that?"

"I meant like numbered dates not like relationship dates."

"Right…right, I knew that."

"For what it's worth, I don't think you're the type of person who's terrible at relationship dates."

"You don't know that."

"Prove me wrong."

Britta raised an eyebrow to him. "Troy Barnes are you asking me out on a date?"

"Am I?"

Britta smiled. "I'd very much like to go on a date with you."

"Really?"

"Yeah, that'd be cool. I've never been on a date with a male friend…I've never had a male friend really."

"Male friend?"

"Yeah, boyfriend doesn't exactly mean 'friend who happens to be a boy' nowadays."

"Right."

"Okay, I'm gonna go give the doll to Pierce," Britta got the troll from her room and headed for the door.

"Hey Britta."

"Yeah Troy?"

As much as Troy wanted to confess his feelings, he didn't. "That date's gonna be tonight right?"

"Sure. How about we meet here before deciding where to have our date?"

"Sure."

"See you later Troy."

"See you later Britta."

…

Britta poofed into Pierce's current house. "Pierce! Pierce, it's Britta."

"Britta," Pierce stepped out from the shadows, "how kind of you to visit me in my loneliness."

"Yeah, sure," she proudly held up the troll. "Look what I have for you."

"Wherever did you get that?"

"I went back east for something and I thought I'd bring back some souvenirs."

"What did you go back east for? You didn't have anything there."

"Of course _I _didn't. I went to get something for a friend."

"Hmm," Pierce set the troll down and started moving toward her. "You're lying to me Britta."

Britta was backing away slowly. "No I'm not."

"Oh you're not?" Pierce put his arm around Britta's shoulder. "Remind me again how we keep in contact Britta."

"With crystal balls."

"Miniature crystal balls."

"Yeah."

"I forget; how do they work compared to regular crystal balls?"

"Miniature crystal balls allow us to have direct contact with another person as long as they have a mini crystal ball of their own. With a regular crystal ball we can't get in contact with that person."

"But?"

"But what?"

"What can regular crystal balls do that a miniature crystal ball can't?"

"A regular crystal ball can show us what someone is doing, has done, or will do."

"Good, good. And the drawback?"

Britta thought about the drawback. "It's often vague. It doesn't tell you exactly-"

"Exactly! Both of these magical mechanisms have the misfortune of not telling us the exactly where someone's location is."

"I was on more of a when deal than a where deal."

"Remember how we used a regular crystal ball to watch Annie as she played in the woods when she was little?"

"Yes," Britta had no idea where he was going with this or what point he was trying to make.

"Do you recall that one time she tripped and fell into the river, nearly drowning?"

"Wasn't she seven?"

"Remember how we couldn't find her because the tracking spell couldn't give a precise location in the water?"

"Pierce-"

"I have a point. Do you remember this or not?"

"Yes I remember this. We found her in time and told her she has to magically mark trees so that we know where she is if something like that happened again. She was young; she wasn't ready for a miniature crystal ball yet."

"Well in the early Saturday morning hours, I stumbled into a fortune teller's shop in my drunken stupor. Yes, it was closed and I have no recollection of sneaking in, but somehow I ended up with something of the fortune teller's in my possession that the police returned to me after my incarceration had ended. For some reason I also had a duffle bag with bowling shoes. I was able to put the ball in the bag before Shirley saw me take it home."

"Oh?" Pierce led her to the living room where a crystal ball sat in the center on a coffee table. "So you stole something that didn't belong to you? You often do that."

"I thought I'd check up on my witches. See what they had been up to these past few days." This is the instant that Britta became nervous. "I also used this to help recount everything I had done while intoxicated. There wasn't anything interesting on your part, or on Shirley's, but I was most intrigued by Annie's."

"Annie's?"

"Oh don't play dumb Britta it belittles us both! I saw you interact with her last night."

"This is a massive invasion of privacy!"

"You knew she married that Winger man, didn't you?" Britta said nothing. "DIDN'T YOU?"

"Yes! Okay, I did!"

"How could you let her do that?"

"Because she was in love with him?"

"Why didn't you bring her to me? I would have instantly removed the effects."

"Because I know Jeff loves her too!"

"Oh please he's a Winger! Winger men are incapable of love, you of all people should know that Britta."

"It's different with Jeff, I know it is!"

"Annie belongs with us!"

"Pierce, Annie is her own person! I am my own person! Shirley is her own person! You do not own us! You do not control us! We should be free to live our own lives among the mortal world and meet new people without you interfering."

"Tell me Britta, do you like having your powers?" Pierce moved closer to Britta and grabbed her by the throat. "I gave these powers to you and I can easily take them away." He let go of her and she fell to the floor. "But I won't. Here's what we're going to do. I am going to get Annie and Shirley back, remove the love potion's effects, take away your memories of Greendale, and, the four of us are going to find another place to stay."

"No!" Britta choked out.

A blue beam shot out of Pierce's hand, and surrounded Britta. "I'm afraid you don't have much of a choice." With a quick flick of his hand, Britta was trapped in a blue bubble. "Cancel your plans sweetheart, you're not going anywhere for a while."

"Okay, I can't wait no more," Pierce had forgotten that Dean Pelton was in the house. "Shirley has been out all night looking and I need to…" he noticed Britta. "Why is that woman-"

"Craig," Pierce made his way to the dean, "I forgot you were here."

"I was waiting for Shirley to help me look for Duncan Cat and Changmatian but she hasn't come back yet."

"Oh, right, how could I forget? I mean, she did put up a barrier spell preventing me to leave. You let me worry about Shirley and you go out and find your animal friends."

"But Shirley-"

"I'm certain you'll find them soon. Now, run along."

"Alright, I suppose I'll dean you later," he went to the door to leave.

"Oh and Craig," Pelton turned around. "You didn't see or hear anything, did you?"

"How could I? I just woke up."

"Good man. Now, run along."

Craig nodded and stepped outside. Changmatian and Duncan Cat were going to have to wait because that man had to find Shirley ASAP.

* * *

**How many of you thought there wasn't going to be a villain? If you did, how many of you thought it was Pierce. Yes, I sort of based Pierce off of the witch's father Daniel from the movie. Is it me or is Pierce always either the token old man or the villain?**

**References include _Community_, _The Soup_, _Mad Men_, _Aladdin_, _Little Mermaid_, _Beavis & Butthead_, _Goldilocks & the 3 Bears_, _The Diary of Annie Frank_, and any TV shows, movies, or books I might have missed.**

**Again, I have never really written a bedroom scene so if you're unsatisfied or surprised keep in mind this was one of my first attempts.**


	12. A Tale of Two Brittas

**Re-watched the ending of **_**I Married a Witch**_**; it gave me no help. It was like she tells him, she magically rigs it so becomes governor and he freaks out a bit but is like okay with it a minute later, her dad takes her away to…die I guess, and I suppose you can say true love conquers all, then there's an abrupt ending that's supposed to be funny. I am so glad I outlined what I hope to be a climatic showdown…**

…**but it's not in this chapter.**

**Honestly, I think I prefer this to the actual movie. Does that seem wrong? Anyone else see this movie (or become inspired to see this movie)? I'd like your opinion.**

**Okay, moving on…**

* * *

"This is not real! This is not real!" Jeff kept muttering this to himself after the trial had ended. It went as expected; Alan used defamation of character and reminded the court of the evidence against the defendant, Jeff argued his case about the evidence being tampered with or misleading and then made a speech about how the focus of the trial was no longer on the case, but the lawyers themselves. Suffice to say it was one of his worst speeches Jeff had ever given- in his opinion anyway.

In the end, the defendant was found not guilty. Jeff had won. Surprisingly, this was not the outcome that Jeff had wanted.

He drove home in a nervous frenzy fighting the urge to tear at his perfect hair. Once he parked the car on the lawn instead of in the driveway, he hurried out of the car and ran into the house calling for his wife repeatedly. When she didn't respond, he started looking for her. He didn't have to look too long because there was a note on the fridge.

_Went for a ride; take some time to think. I need a decision when I get back._

"Decision about what?" Jeff flipped the paper over, but there was nothing on the back. "Annie doesn't have a car, or a bike...or a horse," He pulled out his phone to look for her number but then remembered, "She doesn't have a cell phone either!" Jeff let out a frustrated scream as he threw the phone aside. "Decision about what? And what the hell is she riding?"

…

"Tough call," Abed remarked after Annie finished talking.

"And I know Pierce will wipe away my memories if he reversed the spell," Annie's face fell, "but I doubt he'd remove Jeff's."

Abed stopped broom surfing and carefully sat down. "I knew you wouldn't be able to give up your witchcraft; it's who you are."

"I mean, I'll have to use less and less of it but I can't stop using it altogether. What if there's an emergency? I just…I just don't think I can be mortal."

"You don't want to go to Pierce."

"I do love Jeff with all my heart, and I want to stay in love with him," she sighed. "But if he can't accept who I am then that's the only option I can think of."

"Can't you make him accept that with magic?"

"No. For starters I don't know what the effects would be. You know, I don't think any witch or warlock ever tried that on a mortal. I'm certainly not going to the first."

"You're the first and only half-witch."

"Not by my choice."

"But by your mother's. She could have married a warlock, but then there wouldn't be anything special about you." Abed had a point there. "Everyone knows you're destined for greatness Annie, everyone except you." Abed smiled. "And yeah, I wouldn't mind seeing a little Annie/Jeff magic baby. I like babies."

Annie giggled. "Even if Jeff and I did have a baby, who's to say it would be magic? It could be completely mortal."

"It was a similar dilemma with Samantha and Darrin when Tabitha came into the picture."

"Okay, seriously who are those people? You've mentioned them before. Who are they?"

"Fictional characters from a classic sitcom called _Bewitched_. Samantha was a witch who married a mortal named Darrin and the show chronicled their adventures."

"But that's fiction; Abed, this is real life."

Abed tilted his head in thought. "I still don't see much of a difference in plot." He stood on the broom and resumed broom surfing. "Wanna race?"

"Actually Abed, I'm going to do some solo riding before I go home. I'll see you around."

"Cool."

…

Shirley was sitting alone reading when her she was crystal balled. "Britta?"

_"Shirley,"_ Britta was on the other end and she seemed frantic, _"I found Annie."_

"You did?"

_"I managed to get her back to Pierce's and in a magic bubble but she won't let him undo the spell."_

"Why not?"

_"I dunno, I think she's really in love with Jeff. Come help me talk sense into her."_

"I'm on my way," Shirley put the ball back in her skirt pocket and started to run off, accidentally bumping into Pelton. "Craig, we gotta stop meeting like this."

Craig noticed the book. "Is that _50 Shades of-_"

Shirley quickly snatched the book back. "Respect a lady's privacy!"

"Hey listen, when you're done with that…no! No time for that! Shirley, do not go back to Pierce."

"Excuse you?"

"Pierce has gone insane and he has trapped Britta in a magic bubble. He is waiting for you to come back so the barrier spell can be broken. Once you get there, he's going to put you in that bubble with Britta."

"An anti-magic bubble? There's no way Pierce could conjure that unless…unless he had the spellbook! Oh my Lord he does! I left that book alone with that man."

"And he used it to trap Britta."

"Okay. Okay, I'm going to have to sneak in unnoticed and steal that book back."

"What about me? What can I do? Should I come with you in case something happens?"

"Follow me to the house. If I'm not back within a half hour then you need to get help."

"The police?"

"No. There are only two mortals I trust; Troy Barnes and Abed Nadir. If anything happens, get them."

"Wait, what about that other witch you were looking for?"

"She's not really with Pierce?"

"No, it's just him and Blondie...er, I mean Britta."

"Then don't go looking for Annie."

"But-"

"Trust me, find Troy and Abed…or at least Abed. Abed his the one who will probably know what to do. Come on, we gotta save Britta."

…

Britta watched with horror as Britta stood outside the bubble with a sly smirk on her face. "Of course Shirley would answer her crystal ball if _Britta _calls," the Britta on the outside sounded exactly like Pierce. The Britta in the bubble, the real Britta, could only watch in horror as fake Britta laughed. "Good thng I took this from you- though I doubt it would make a difference if I didn't take it from you. Who would you be able to contact besides Shirley? Annie? Good luck getting her to answer." Fake Britta looked at his watch. "Come on Shirley, hurry up; I've got a date tonight."

"No," Britta began pounding on the bubble. "NO! STAY AWAY FROM HIM!"

"Why? I like Troy. He's a good kid. And, oh I don't know, he just might be able to lead me to Annie. Relax; I'm only going to use him. It's business, not pleasure."

"I swear Pierce if you hurt him…"

"You'll what? Britta, Darling, once I get Annie back, I'm going to remove your memories of Greendale; you won't even knew he existed. Enjoy him now while you can." There was a thud near the back of the house. "Ah, that must be Shirley now."

…

Jeff sat on his bed thinking. Never once had he taken time just to sit, think, and sort everything out. His thoughts were disturbed by tapping on the nearby window. "Holy crap!" He hurried over to the window and opened it. "Annie, what the hell?"

She flew into the house and set the broom aside. "I told you I was going for a ride."

"On a broom?"

"I'm a witch Jeff. Despite things you may or may not have heard about us, all witches love to fly brooms."

"It does seem a lot easier than driving."

"And once you enchant the broom you can fly in the sky without being seen and never get in an accident."

"Okay so that explains the riding part of the note."

"You don't understand the decision part?"

"I assume the decision is divorce?"

"Well, technically it'll be an annulment but that's not all of it."

"Then can I hear the rest?"

"You have to understand what I am? I have been a witch for over three hundred and twenty years and I can't give it up so easily."

"So you're older than me? You look good for your age."

"Thanks. And yes I'm older than you, but at the same time I'm not. I was born in 1670 and I…'died' in March, 1693 at twenty-two."

"What do you mean 'died'?"

"I was burned at the stake by your ancestor."

"Ah."

"So…it's kinda, sorta, my fault that all Winger men are cursed with miserable marriages."

"You sneaky little witch."

"I could have done worse."

"Point taken."

"But being witches, we didn't exactly die. If a witch is burned then their original body dies and their spirit is trapped in a spellbook, a mirror, or a genie lamp until their released."

"Is that what you meant by prison?"

"I spent three hundred and twenty years trapped in a spellbook with my friends. Troy and Abed released us and gave us our current identities."

"Annie Edison was never your name?"

"Abed named me. He and Troy named all of my friends. I was named Violet after my mother, but she wanted to name me Lilly. But I'm Annie now, and as far as I'm concerned I always will be Annie."

"Good, I like Annie."

"But can you accept Annie as a witch?"

"What would happen if I didn't?"

"I would have to go to Pierce to get the spell reversed."

"Spell? Annie, did you make me fall in love with you?"

"We tried to for revenge purposes! The witches and I thought it would make you more miserable if you were in love with someone who would never love you back so we brewed a love potion for you. I was the lucky girl who you were supposed to fall in love with, but you gave me the potion and instead…"

"…you fell in love with me." Jeff made a muffled sound. "I guess that's what you meant by your love for me was forced."

"I don't want to get the spell reversed! I love being in love with you. I had feelings for you before I drank the potion, but I tried to convince myself otherwise. I'm glad I fell in love with you Jeff, honest I am. I'm so afraid that if I get the spell reversed Pierce will take away my memories of you, but you'll keep your memories of me. I don't want you to suffer like that." Jeff was silent. "Jeff. Jeff, say something please."

"What would happen if I do accept you for who you are?"

"Then we stay together; but I can't stop being a witch Jeff. Of course, I'll use my powers less and less as time goes on but when I do it'll only be to help us, never hurt us." Annie read his mind. "Ask your question Jeff, I know you want to."

"What if we had a kid?"

"I'm a witch, not a fortune teller. I can't predict what it would be. But you should know up front that I'm only a half-witch, and the only one in existence."

"A half-witch?"

"There are people born magical like Pierce, people who acquire their magic through a full-blooded person like Shirley and Britta did through Pierce, and then there's me."

"What makes you so special?"

"My mother was born magical making her a full-blooded witch. She fell in love with a mortal man and married him. I'm half witch, half mortal and the only one of my kind. I don't know what would happen if I had a baby with a warlock or a mortal." Annie sighed. "I hope I've explained everything."

"I have so many more questions."

"And I can answer them. But you have to answer one question for me: do you accept me as a witch?"

Jeff finally looked at her. "I fell in love with you, I married you, and I will always accept you for who you are."

Annie let out a loud, happy squeal, wrapped her arms around his neck, and kissed him. "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"

"But please don't use witchcraft to make me look stupid or anything."

"I promise; I'll only use it to make you happy."

"Good," he kissed her. "I bet Abed would enjoy this. He'd probably make comparisons to _Bewitched_."

"He already does."

"Right, he knows."

"Troy knows too; I mean, they're the ones who freed us so they kinda have to know."

"Remind me to thank them later. This is one of the few things those losers ever did right." Annie smiled at him and he kissed her. "So…you think you can show me some of that old black magic?"

…

"Without me?" Troy was on the phone with Abed. "True…what…no, not yet…she didn't exactly say what time but-"

Troy was cut off by someone pounding on the door. "Troy! Troy, it's me, I need you!"

"Never mind, she's here now…yeah, see you later." Troy hung up and hurried to the door.

Sure enough, a frantic Britta was standing on the other side of the door. She jumped into Troy's arms. "Thank God I got a hold of you."

"Britta what's wrong?"

"It's Pierce. He's gone insane. He knows where Annie is."

"What how?"

"There's no time to explain. We have to get to Annie now."

"We?"

"You led me to their house yesterday Troy. I don't know their address!"

"Right. Okay, I'll lead the way."

"We'll take my broom. Hurry!"

Once Troy left, the apartment stayed vacant for not even a full minute. Abed returned from broom surfing hoping to have a quick chat with Britta, but that didn't work. "Bummer," Abed went to the kitchen to get himself some buttered noodles. "It's nice to see them going out on a Monday. Nothing exciting ever happens on Mondays." No sooner had he put the noodles in a bowl did the crystal ball the witches gave him start flashing. "Oh hey Shirley."

_"Abed, thank the Lord we got a hold of you!"_ Shirley was near hysterics.

"What's wrong?"

_"Where's Troy?"_

"He left on his date."

_"With Britta?"_

"How did you know that?"

The real Britta came into view. _"Abed, this is the real me! Shirley brought the spellbook back with her and left it alone with Pierce."_

_"We all make mistakes,"_ Shirley grumbled.

_"Pierce used the spells to trap us in an anti-magic bubble and transformed into me. The Britta Troy is with is not the real Britta!"_

"Oh that's not...wait, wouldn't he have taken your mini crystal balls?" Abed questioned.

_"He took Britta's, but not mine,"_ Shirley explained. _"Pierce doesn't know we gave you and Troy one."_

_"Abed, it's a trap,"_ Britta interjected. _"Pierce is using Troy to get to Annie. You have to warn her fast!"_

"But they already left!" Abed informed the two witches. "They might be there by now."

_"Then you better get your ass over here and keep the spellbook away from Pierce,"_ Shirley demanded. For extra protective measures, Shirley gave Abed the exact location of where they were. _"You better get here fast."_

Britta nodded in agreement. _"You might be able to find a way to stop Pierce. We're counting on you Abed."_

"_Oh, and there's a man named Craig Pelton hiding outside the house if you need any more help. He also has a crystal ball but I doubt he knows what to do with it. Good luck Abed and hurry,"_ Shirley ended the call.

Letting out a nervous squeak, Abed frantically paced around trying to figure out what to do. The first thing he did was whistle. "ROMBO!" a broom flew into his hands. "We got to get to Shirley and Britta before Pierce does!" Abed shrugged off the fact that he was talking to himself, and took off on the broom at lightning speed.

…

"Huh," Jeff watched with fascination as Annie finished a spell. "Well that's one way to get things done. I never thought I'd say this but I'm glad I married a witch." As Annie flashed him a smile, Troy and Britta burst through the door and into the house. "Yeah, hey, ever hear of knocking?"

"Annie, you've got to hide!" Troy ordered.

Annie looked at him with worried confusion. "What?"

Jeff stepped closer to Annie ready to defend. "Why?"

"Pierce knows you're here!" Troy's statement made Annie gasp. "He's on his way here for you right now."

"On the contrary," in a quick flash of smoke, Britta returned to his original self. "He's made his way here right now."

"You're not Britta." With a quick hand gesture from Pierce, Troy went flying across the room.

As Jeff got in front of Annie, Pierce smiled. "You must be Jeff," he held out his hand. "I'm Pierce. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance."

Jeff took a strong hold of Pierce's hand and flipped the old man to the ground. "Pleasure's not mine." Jeff took a hold of his wife's hand. "Come on, we have to get you out of here."

"Ah-ah-ah," Pierce did another hand gesture and both Jeff and Annie were flung backwards.

Ignoring his pain, Jeff helped Annie up. "Annie, are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she assured him. "Jeff, he's too powerful!"

"I'm not going to let him take you from me!" No sooner were those words uttered did Jeff scream in pain and fall to the floor, having been hit by Pierce in the back.

"JEFF!" Annie lowered herself to his level.

Pierce stepped closer. "Annie, this will be much easier for everyone if you go quietly."

"You want her," Jeff stood up and acted as her shield, "then you have to go through me."

"Jeff," Pierce began, "you seem like such a nice fellow; don't make me kill you."

"Then killing me is the only way you'll get her."

Pierce groaned. "Fine," with another motion, Jeff went flying across the room. Pierce made his way over to him with a levitating fireball above his hand. "But remember, this is what you wanted." In one swift move, Jeff kicked Pierce's ankle, and Pierce fell to the floor, the fireball disappearing as Pierce lost his balance. Jeff struggled to get up, but Pierce wouldn't let him go any further.

"Pierce, stop it!" Annie ordered. "Don't you dare hurt him!"

"So you'll come with me."

"No!"

"No?"

"You heard me, no."

Pierce snarled. "I don't take no for an answer Annie."

"Well you might as well start."

"Annie, sweetheart, you're my favorite. Don't make me hurt you."

"I am not going with you and that's final."

"Is that so?"

"I am never ever going back with you."

"Fine, you don't have to." Pierce snapped his fingers and suddenly Jeff was dangling in the air. "But I'm not going back alone." And before Annie had the chance to stop him, Pierce and Jeff were gone.

"Ugh," the agonized moan coming from Troy indicated his presence.

"Troy!" Annie rushed over to him. With a quick hand wave over his body, she had healed him. "Troy, Pierce has Jeff. We have to get him back!"

"Problem."

"What?"

"I don't know where Pierce is hiding. He found me, as Britta." Troy made a disgusted face. "Oh my God I accidentally touched his boob."

A sudden vibration made Annie look around in fear. "Do you hear that?"

"Yeah, it's my phone; I set it to vibrate. It's a text from…someone I don't know." Troy checked the message. "_I'm on your side; the following address is the Pierce's_." Another vibration. "Hallelujah we have a villain's lair!"

Annie quickly read the address and instantly had it memorized. She whistled for her broom. "ROMBO!" The broom flew into her hands. "Come on Troy; let's go save my husband."

* * *

**Fun fact: I was originally going to have Annie be kidnapped but I changed my mind for a few reasons. One, a damsel in distress doesn't always have to be female. Two, Jeff not only wouldn't know where to find Pierce but how to get there; he'd have to know how to fly a broom and he doesn't- and I didn't want to add that in here yet. Three, Annie's a witch and probably could have escaped faster. Either way, you get a kidnapping.**

**Okay, this is technically up past midnight but that's because I was working on another project and I lost track of time (and if you care I'll be uploading it to YouTube soon, same username). Plus there was that debate on who should get kidnapped. Regardless, this is up now.**

**Next chapter will be the climactic battle, and most likely a very long chapter. Then there will be an epilogue, but I have two endings in mind and I don't know if I should put them both in. I do prefer ending in even numbered chapters or chapters divisible by 5 so either way wouldn't matter.**

**But I'll come to that conclusion later. Until then, feel free to give some thoughts on what you think will happen.**


	13. A Good Witch Goes to War

**Here's a new chapter where a lot of stuff happens; nothing special to say.**

* * *

A soaking wet Duncan Cat (don't ask how it happened, it's a long, painful story) found himself alone in a dark alley. "I am having the worst week of my nine lives! God knows if I even have nine lives left! I never once thought I'd wish to be human again."

"Meow," a one-eyed alley cat got Duncan's attention.

"Well being a cat isn't all that fantastic either missy!"

"Meow."

"Your name's Felicia?"

"Meow."

"Ian Duncan, I'm a human you know," a thought suddenly occurred to Duncan. "A human who's having an actual conversation with a cat." Felicia gave Duncan a strange look. "It's a long, painful story; I don't want to bore you with details."

"Meow," Felicia was about to leave.

"Wait! Maybe you can help me." Felicia turned around. "See, I'm looking for a Dalmatian who calls himself Changmatian."

"Meow."

"You've heard of him?"

"Meow."

"Leader of the junkyard dogs? How the bloody hell is that possible? That bastard's only been gone an hour or so!"

"Meow."

"There's no time to explain. Can you tell me how to get to the junkyard?"

"Meow."

"Right, right…"

"Meow!"

"Sorry, left. Go on."

"Meow."

"Thank you Felicia." And thus Duncan was off in search of Changmatian.

…

_[Meanwhile, back to the _actual_ plot]_

Per a text message request, Annie and Troy landed in the backyard of Duncan's neighbor. Abed had altered a hole in the fence for them to crawl through and he and Pelton were waiting for them on the other side. "Pierce literally just got here," Abed informed. "I don't know if he's done anything to Jeff yet."

"What's your plan Abed?" Troy inquired.

"Not very well thought out."

"Do you have any ideas?"

"One: Annie has to go in there and fight for Jeff."

"Alone?" both Troy and Annie didn't seem to agree with this.

"I figured one of us could decide who was going in as backup. But we need at least one person to stay out here with this," Abed pulled the spellbook out from his jacket. "Said person can look for a spell that we can use to stop Pierce."

"But if we found a spell, how would we communicate that?" Annie questioned.

"I hadn't really thought that through. Maybe there's a thought transferring spell."

"We don't have time for this! New plan: I'm going in there with Troy. Abed, you and…this guy-"

"Hi, Craig Pelton," he shook her hand, "dean of students at Greendale Community College. It's nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too," Annie looked back at Abed. "Abed, you and Craig stay out here and search the spellbook. If you find anything that might be able to stop Pierce then one of you need to sneak in and help."

"I'll do it," Abed volunteered. "I'm faster and better at remembering things."

Dean Pelton raised his hand. "Yes, and I don't want to go in there."

"You'll have to if something happens to Abed," Troy told him. Craig made one of those 'but I don't wanna' moans. "Oh, don't be a baby."

"Abed, open up to the barrier spells," Annie commanded.

Abed's eyes widened slightly. "Annie, I don't think-"

"I'm not leaving until Pierce is defeated. I don't care how long it takes and I'm not taking any chances. After the barrier is up, only you and Craig can get in or out unless I decided to break down the barrier. This is war Abed, and Pierce is not going to win." Abed nodded in understanding and did as Annie requested. She quickly read over and memorized the spell. "Alright, I'm going in."

"Good luck," Annie snuck in through the window first.

Troy lagged behind. "I uh…I may not come out alive."

"I'm sure you will. I read some witch's laws in the beginning of the spellbook. A witch or warlock's magic can never kill a mortal unless they willingly suck out a mortal's life force- that's why Jeff's still alive for now. Of course, you could endure many magic hits that will hurt so much that you die naturally of a mortal death like internal bleeding or suffering from fireball burns."

"That doesn't help Abed."

"You better go, Annie's waiting for you."

Troy hugged his best pal. "I love you."

"I know." Abed pulled away and gestured for Troy to get in the house. They did their handshake, and Troy climbed in through the window.

Pelton sniffled. "I promised myself I wouldn't cry," he pulled a used tissue out of his pocket and dabbed his eyes. "It's always so emotional when a good man goes to war."

"It's not his war...it's hers."

…

Annie finished waving her hand. "The barrier spell is up."

"Good," Troy stood there uncertain. "Now what?"

"Now we find Pierce. If we find Pierce, we find Jeff, Britta, and Shirley."

"That shouldn't be too hard, unless he turned himself invisible or something."

"Ssh!" Annie quieted Troy. "Do you hear that?"

"What you?"

"It's over here," Annie crept toward the living room. Peering her head, she saw Shirley and Britta trapped in a bubble, Jeff dangling midair, and Pierce pacing below Jeff with his hand to his chin in thought. She turned back to Troy. "We need some sort of surprise attack." Troy nodded to her.

"What to do with you?" Pierce paced.

"Please, by all means, take your time," Jeff sarcastically remarked to him.

"Oh come now Jeffrey, you're not afraid of heights are you?"

"I'd just prefer to be on the ground if you don't mind."

"Alright," Pierce snapped his fingers and Jeff fell to the ground. "You are our guest after all."

Jeff grimaced in pain as he stood up. "Okay, I'll ask it; why haven't you killed me yet?"

Pierce put his hands on Jeff's shoulders. "It's not that easy Jeffrey. I can't just point, snap, zap, and wham you're dead."

"That fireball was convincing enough."

"Pfft, all it can do is burn your body what's the fun in that. It wouldn't kill you right away, it just helps to get you to die a mortal death by burns or smoke inhalation. There are certain guidelines a magic being has to abide by. One of them includes not killing mortals…unless you suck out their life force but I'm going to do to you that yet."

"Yet?"

"He's waiting for me!" Annie stepped into view.

Pierce turned around to face her. "Ah, there's my always punctual Annie right on time."

"I'm only going to say this once: Pierce Hawthorne, step away from my husband."

"Or what?" Pierce inched closer to her. "What are you going to do?"

With a nod, Troy snuck behind Pierce and smashed one of Duncan's glass vases over his head. As Pierce fell to the floor unconscious, Annie ran to Jeff and Troy ran to the witches.

As Annie healed Jeff's injuries, Troy just stood there frantically looking for basically anything. "What do I do?" Troy asked Annie.

"You can break the bubble by popping it from the outside," Annie told him.

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah, that is a pretty weak solution," Jeff agreed.

"Quit stalling and pop the damn bubble!" Annie ordered.

"Have I ever told you this take charge attitude of yours is a real turn on?"

"Jeff!"

"Right, not the time. And hey, thanks for coming to my rescue."

"You'd do the same for me."

"If that ever happened I would bring in an entire SWAT team." Annie giggled. "But I want you to know that if worse comes to worst, I'd die for you."

Annie flung herself into his arms. As Jeff stroke her hair, Annie whispered, "I'd die for you too."

POP. Troy managed to pop the bubble and Shirley and Britta were free. While Britta ran into Troy's arms, Shirley hurried to give Annie a hug. "Oh Annie, honey I've been worried sick about you."

"I'm okay Shirley, really," Annie assured.

"Has that bad man touched you inappropriately?"

"Shirley!"

"What, I'm the bad guy now?" Jeff was confused.

"You'll have to excuse Shirley; she's very protective of me."

Once Britta was done hugging Troy, she rushed over to give Annie a hug. "You okay, kid?"

"I'm fine."

Britta pulled away first. "I want you to know that I'm with you one hundred percent."

"Thank you."

Annie and Britta turned to Shirley. Shirley let out a deep breath. "You girls know how I feel about fighting," Britta and Annie nodded. "But Pierce has gone too far and he must be stopped." They smiled at her.

"Hate to burst the figurative bubble," Jeff began, "but how exactly are we going to stop him?"

"Yeah and I don't want to point this out," Troy pointed, "but where is Pierce?"

No sooner had they started looking around did they hear a near sinister chuckle. "So it's a war is it?" Pierce stepped out of the shadows. "I have no objection to this. But…let's make this a fair fight." Pierce shot out three bolts of blue lightning that struck the witches and made them collapse to the ground. "I mean, I'm severely outnumbered here."

Jeff and Troy helped the witches up. "I'm confused," Troy admitted, "what just happened here?"

"You're just going to question me? You're not going to fight back."

Britta was on her feet first. She snapped her fingers hoping to zap Pierce, but nothing happened. "Nothing's happening! Why isn't anything happening?"

Shirley waved her hand to do the same. "I think our magic's gone."

"I told you ladies," Pierce started, "I gave you your powers and I can easily take them away."

"Smart thinking Pierce," Annie pointed her fingers at him, and a purple bolt of lightning hit him square in the chest and sent him flying backwards, "but I got my powers from my mother."

"That was so frawesomely badass!" Troy commented as everyone else stared at what just transpired in awe.

"What are we going to do now?" Shirley questioned Annie.

"We don't know how to fight like mortals against an all-powerful warlock," Britta added.

"And we can't kill him! Witches and warlocks can only die of natural causes."

"What about burning him?" Jeff asked. Everyone turned to him. "Annie told me how you guys were burnt at the stake and your spirits trapped in something. If we can somehow manage to burn, wouldn't that stop him?"

"Captain Hair has a point. Pierce's spirit would be trapped in the nearest magical item."

"Which would be the spellbook," Annie reminded. "But that can easily be opened again and Pierce would be free. You guys have to get your powers back somehow don't you?"

"So we're screwed no matter what!" Britta interjected.

"But what if you destroyed the spellbook?" Jeff inquired.

"What?"

"I just had an Abed thought: usually in movies or TV you destroy a magic person's possession and they die and suddenly everything's back to normal and he's gone for good. So we burn him, he gets trapped in the spellbook, we destroy the spellbook, and hopefully everything goes back to normal."

Shirley and Britta exchanged glances. While Britta merely shrugged, Shirley carefully though that through. "I suppose it's worth a shot. What have we got to lose?"

"Besides your magic forever?" Troy did not help matters. "Oh, was that a rhetorical question?"

"But how are we going to burn him?" Britta asked. "Shirley and I can't conjure up fireballs."

Annie reminded them of her magic by conjuring a fireball in her hand. "No, but I can."

"But would it kill him?"

Annie made the fireball disappear. "I don't know. Can witches kill other magical people?"

"Oh sweetie we don't have the answer to that," Shirley sweetly stated. "No magic being has ever killed another magic being."

"We have to burn his body somehow!"

Britta snapped her fingers- not for magic, but for thought. "Why didn't we think of this before? We light the fireplace and push him in! Isn't that the equivalent of burning at the stake?"

"Seems better than lighting the whole house on fire," Troy commentated.

"Anyone got a match?" Annie made a box of matches appear by magic. "Thank you," Britta lit a match and got the fireplace going.

"How's he gonna fit in that fireplace?"

"Troy, please understand I mean this in the nicest way possible, but shut your piehole."

There was a thud from behind the house. Prepared to go over to fight, they were relieved to see it was Abed. "Guys I can't help you," Abed regrettably informed. "I've gone through that spellbook twice and I haven't found anything. Hey Britta. Hey Shirley. Glad to see you guys figured out how to destroy an anti-magic bubble."

"You've done your best Abed," Shirley patted his back, "but we have an alternative method that involves setting Pierce on fire."

"And his spirit would then be trapped in the closest magical item," Abed concluded. "Cool. Cool, cool, cool. I wanna help," he went to the window. "Craig, keep reading the spellbook. I'm gonna help my friends."

"What, another ally?" Pierce was standing behind them. "You can't possibly be serious?"

"It wouldn't make much of a difference!" Britta protested. "It's one all-powerful warlock against a witch and five people without magic."

Pierce stomped his foot on the floor, and the house began to shake. Everyone around him fell to the ground. "It's still not fair that no one is on my side. Not even my witches."

"We're not your witches Pierce! We're our own people and you're not going to control us anymore."

"Is that so?" Pierce tried to make Britta disappear, but it didn't work. "What the?" He tried a few more times before it dawned on him. Pierce chuckled. "Really Annie, a barrier spell?"

"Yes!" Annie stood up in defiance. "And I'm only going to break it when you're defeated."

"Annie, Honey, I can't be defeated. I've been here since the dawn of time and I'm not going anywhere. Annie, you're my favorite. You're like the daughter I never had. I don't want to have to hurt you."

Jeff stood up and got in front of Annie. "And I'm not going to let you hurt her."

"Well, well, well we have our damsel acting as the hero. You're very persistent about protecting your wife Jeffrey." Pierce waved his hand and sent Jeff hurling back toward the living room. "Tell me, would you die for her?"

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Annie threw a fireball at Pierce, but Pierce caught it before it could touch him.

"Thank you Annie. Now I can use your fireball to kill your husband. I bet it will be such a burden to be responsible death of another loved one." Pierce threw the fireball at Jeff, but Jeff rolled away before it touched him. Pierce growled in anger. "I've severely underestimated you Jeffrey. Apparently it will take more than a little fireball to kill you." Pierce smiled an evil smile as he created a larger fireball in his hands. "Let's try a large one."

"NO!" As Pierce threw his fireball, Annie instantly put a force field around Jeff. The fireball bounced off the force field. This time when Pierce tried to catch it, his hand burned.

Pierce healed his hand and looked up at Annie in anger. "You just made a big mistake, missy." Before he could conjure up anything new, Troy tackled the warlock to the ground (grateful for the years of football he had played). Pierce immediately snapped back up, sending Troy flying backwards in the process. While Abed and Shirley ran to his aid, Britta got angry. She ran around to look for something blunt and almost instantly found an unused golf club. As Pierce focused his attention on Jeff, Britta snuck behind Pierce and whacked him with the golf club.

Once Pierce hit the floor, Britta ran to Troy. "Troy! Troy, are you okay?" Troy weakly opened his eyes. "Troy? Troy, can you answer me?"

"I thought you wanted me to shut my piehole," Troy meekly spoke. Britta gave him a gentle hug. Afterwards, she and Abed helped him up. "Maybe if we keep striking him we can weaken him enough to push him into the fire." The other three nodded and each of them started to look for objects they could use to hurt Pierce.

Pierce noticed this. "I'll deal with you later Jeffrey," he disappeared into thin air.

"What the?" Jeff ran over to where Pierce was once laying. "Where did he go?"

"I don't know," Annie responded. "Just find something you can use against Pierce."

"Wait a second, isn't this Duncan's house? Why are you guys in my shrink's house?"

"You'll get an explanation later."

"Yeah if I survive this," Jeff reached for the poker by the fireplace.

Pretty soon they were joined by Shirley, Abed, Britta, and Troy. "Duncan has a lot of potential weapons around the house," Abed commented before he noticed something peculiar. "Why are there two Brittas?"

"Oh come on!" the Britta on the right cried out. "Guys, it's Pierce in disguise."

"No, that's Pierce in disguise. I'm the real Britta."

"The hell you are!"

"It's the classic which witch is which deal," Abed pointed out, "We have to figure out which witch is the witch and which witch is the warlock."

"In English?" Jeff remarked with both sarcasm and exasperation.

"We have to figure out which one is the real Britta and which one is Pierce disguised as Britta."

"I got this," Troy proudly stated. "Brittas, how old are you?"

Britta on the right shrugged. "I dunno."

"Thirty-six," the Britta on the left directly stated.

"The hell I am!" Britta on the right whacked Britta on the left with the golf club.

Troy pointed to the Britta on the right. "That's the real Britta. Real Britta doesn't know how old she is."

"Dammit!" Fake Britta turned into Pierce. "And are you really going to strain yourselves trying to attack me? Eventually, you'll wear yourselves out while I keep healing myself. How about I make this easy for all of you and suck out your life forces? Granted it's been three hundred and forty-two years since I last used it but I still remember it like it was yesterday."

"Three hundred and forty-two years ago?" Britta quickly did the math. "That was the year Annie was born wasn't it?"

Annie put everything together. "Pierce, you killed my father?"

"And believe me I took great pleasure in doing that," Pierce confessed. "He took your mother away from me, he was not going to take you away either."

"You bastard!"

"Oh please, it happened in an instant so his death was quick and painless. I had to get rid of him! And I see I'm going to have to do the same to your husband." Pierce glared at Jeff and held out his hand. "There's no use running Jeffrey. Once I hold my hand out, the spell goes to its instant target…which happens to be you. Goodbye, Jeffrey," Jeff tried to run, but Pierce had his gaze and his hand locked on Jeff. "_Mortadando_!"

"NO!" Annie pushed Jeff out of the way, causing Jeff to trip, fall and break Duncan's coffee table knocking him unconscious. Annie lay close by as well also unconscious.

Enough was enough! The four remaining mortals charged at Pierce, but he disappeared into thin air. Because of the barrier spell, he couldn't leave. He was somewhere in the house. As they quietly searched for him, they were all startled by an ear-shattering "MEOW" (much like most cats do in horror movies) and continuous barking. A scared Duncan Cat ran into view and jumped onto the fireplace mantle trying to get away from Changmatian. Hissing at Changmatian, Duncan Cat started knocking everything off the mantle and onto the floor.

One thing that rested on the mantle that fell was the Norwegian troll doll. The troll sat on the edge and was actually the first thing to fall. It didn't smash like the other things though. The troll doll rolled…toward Troy. Frightened, Troy backed away from the doll. And then the doll's eyes glowed red. Letting out a high-pitched scream, Troy ran. The troll then got up on two feet and started chasing him.

"IT'S PIERCE!" Shirley determined.

Abed picked up the troll doll. "Never again will you or Pierce torment my friends ever again." And with a quick toss, the troll doll was in the fire and Pierce's agonized screams were heard throughout the house.

"Why isn't anything happening?" Troy asked amidst the screaming "Where's his spirit?"

"It's released only when the body is completely burned," Britta replied back.

"Try to cast a spell," Abed suggested to her. "Get the screaming to stop."

Britta snapped her fingers, but nothing happened. "Nothing's happening!"

Shirley waved her hand. "Nothing's happening for me either."

"Crap in a hat we're still mortal!"

Afterwards the screaming stopped. A blue wisp of smoke appeared. "You think that's going to stop me? Someone is going to open that spellbook and I'll be back for my revenge, you'll see!" The house suddenly got windier. This was then confirmed by the house shaking, a powerful gust of wind, and swirling lights surrounding the blue wisp of smoke. The swirling lights then guided Pierce away.

"What's going on?" Abed asked as the wind picked up.

"This is normal!" Shirley assured him. "This happened to him when us when we were imprisoned in our spellbook."

"But that's impossible! The mini tornado thing isn't leading him toward the spellbook- that's near the back of the house!" Everything then calmed down. The house stopped shaking, the wind died down, and the wisp of smoke was gone. "So where did he go?"

Everyone's focus was suddenly changed by the sound of a painful grunt. "JEFF!" the four of them rushed over to their fallen friend.

Shirley (and Britta) stood aside as the guys helped Jeff up. "Are you alright Jeffrey?" Shirley inquired. "You took quite a beating from the coffee table."

Jeff paid no attention to them. The first thing he searched for, he found lying motionless across from him. "Annie!" He made his way over to her and scooped her up in his arms. "Annie?" He gently shook her. "ANNIE!" Annie lay motionless in his arms. "Annie?" The others helplessly looked on and even started crying along with Jeff. "Annie, don't do this to me." He buried his head in her chest and sobbed. "Don't leave me, please."

"Now look what happened," Pierce's voice was coming from somewhere in the hall. Jeff gently set Annie down and he and the rest of the group went into the hall.

"Oh my God he's in the mirror!" Britta was the first to discover Pierce's reflection in the hallway mirror. "The closest magic thing to trap him in was a mirror."

"Oh shut up Britta! Well, I hope you're proud of yourself Jeffrey," a furious Jeff slowly approached the mirror. "Thanks to you the witches lost their powers and Annie is dead. I hope you're pleased with yourself." Jeff removed the mirror from the wall. "Wait, what are you doing?"

"This is the closest I'm ever going to get to payback."

"Jeffrey?"

Jeff unleashed what seemed like a battle cry and smashed the mirror. Nothing gave him satisfaction like watching Pierce shatter into pieces. And then, the mirror and it's fallen pieces were gone. Everyone stared in silence unsure of what to do next.

Abed was the first to break the silence. "Is something supposed to happen?"

"Like what?" Britta replied as she stared at the ground like everyone else.

"I dunno…something."

"Is he gonna come back to life?" Troy asked.

"Let's hope not," Shirley answered back.

"Wouldn't breaking a mirror count as opening a mirror?"

"Shut up, Troy."

"Jeff's not in our little group anymore," Abed informed them without taking his eyes off the ground. "Are we not going to point this out?"

Britta glanced back into the living room and saw a slow walking Jeff stop beside Annie's body and fall to his knees crying. She was too busy observing this she didn't notice the rest of the group, Duncan Cat and Changmatian included, gather around to watch Jeff. As she watched Jeff take Annie in his arms, Britta felt a pair of comforting arms loop around her waist. She didn't have to look to see who it was, she knew it was Troy. She leaned in closer to him for comfort. And it was only after Jeff gave Annie a tender kiss and sob over her body did Britta lose it. She put her head near Troy's shoulder and sobbed. Troy was crying too as he comfortingly rubbed her back. Shirley stood there in tears, the animal-hybrids had sad faces, even Abed showed sad emotion.

This was all cut off by something happening. Little purple lights scattered around the house and were magically fixing everything. Nobody could do anything as the whole place was overtaken in a giant torrent of purple light. And when everything cleared six people- four clothed and standing and two naked and sitting on the floor- stood in the hallway shaking from the effects.

The last thing that was cleared happened over by Jeff and Annie. A giant wave of light overcame the two of them, and the effects also left Jeff shaking. Before he could fully take in what happened, he heard a muffled sound. In his arms, Annie began to stir.

Jeff's crying began to subside as he felt for a pulse. "Annie?"

Annie slowly opened her eyes and let out a weak, "Jeff?"

"Annie!" he pulled her close and embraced her, also giving her a kiss atop her head. Still holding her, he turned to everyone else. "Guys, she's okay!" The others cheered in excitement. "And I know this might not seem the right time to say this but Duncan, could you and that creepy Asian guy please put on some pants or something?"

Duncan covered his shame, while Chang stood there smugly not doing anything. "Pfft, you're all a bunch of prudes," Chang stood proud so all could see.

"Hang on a sec," Britta snapped her fingers, and Duncan and Chang's lower halves were instantly clothed (much to Chang's dismay). She let out an excited scream. "MY MAGIC'S BACK!"

Shirley waved her hand and Chang and Duncan were then fully dressed. "Hallelujah, I'm a witch again."

Jeff helped Annie stand up. "What..." Annie was rightly confused, "…what just happened?"

"That's right, you were dead," Abed nonchalantly remarked. "Jeff defeated Pierce for good."

"You did?"

Jeff nodded. "And I did it without magic."

"I take it you're going to hold that against me?"

"After you just died for me? Hell no. What kind of husband would I be if I bragged about me stopping an evil warlock all the time?" This made Annie giggle. "Annie, promise me you'll never leave me alone ever again."

Annie smiled. "I promise."

"Shall we seal the deal?" Annie coyly smiled as Jeff leaned in for a kiss.

Shirley placed her hand over her heart. "Oh, that's nice."

Chang made a disgusted face. "Ugh, public displays of affection make me sick. I miss being leader of the junkyard dogs."

"Ah, this reminds me of something I have to pick up," Duncan searched for his coat. "I'll be gone for a short while and when I return I expect you all to be out of my house. Ta-ta." He closed the door behind him.

Troy shrugged. "So what, we just go back to our normal lives?"

"Looks that way," Britta turned to him. "And I believe you and I have a date tonight." Troy smiled at her.

Meanwhile, Pelton snuck inside through the back window carrying the spellbook. "Everything's all good now, right?"

Troy clasped his hand in Britta's, "Yeah, it's all good."

"Phew!" Craig breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh, here you go," he handed Abed the spellbook and gave Shirley the mini crystal ball back. "I don't know exactly what to do with this stuff."

Shirley took the book from Abed. "I do," she made her way into the living room, garnering everyone's attention. Everybody then watched as Shirley smashed the mini crystal ball and threw the spellbook in the fireplace.

Annie let out a shocked gasp. "Shirley, why did you do that?"

"I don't think we'll be needing those again. I think I speak for us witches when I say I'll be comfortably happy where I am performing little spells if necessary."

"Yeah," Britta agreed. "Yeah, me too."

Annie turned to Jeff. "Me most."

Jeff smirked back at her and went in for another kiss that was stopped by Shirley. "Yeah, Shirley?" Shirley nodded. "Hi. I don't care whether or not you approve. Annie is my wife and I love her so I have every right to kiss her."

"And I swear we didn't sleep together until after we were married," Annie added. "I know how you disapprove of premarital intercourse."

"I believe both of you," Shirley told them. "And I give you my blessing."

"Really?" Annie gave Shirley a big hug. "Thank you."

"I didn't finish. I give you my blessing on one condition."

Jeff skeptically raised his eyebrow to her. "What?"

"I get to plan your wedding."

"What?"

"Deal," Annie shook Shirley's hand.

"Yeah, newsflash; we're already married."

"I know," Shirley began to explain, "but Annie is like family to me. I've been a part of her life as she grew up and I'd like to be part of her wedding. I've also always wanted to plan a wedding, especially one for Annie."

"What about me?" Britta questioned.

"Oh please Britta like you would ever get married," Britta was about to argue, but Shirley had her there. Britta was definitely not the marrying type. "I'd be more than happy to plan Annie's wedding. A girl only gets one wedding you know."

Jeff scoffed. "Yeah, maybe in your time." Shirley glared at Jeff. "I'm not implying anything on Annie's part."

"You better not be Mister."

…

And so for the next couple of months Shirley planned an extravagant wedding without magic. Unfortunately, on the day of the wedding everything that could go wrong did go wrong. Oddly enough, Britta was the one to save the day by quickly putting together a simple wedding in Jeff and Annie's backyard.

"Oh my God I'm a Steppenwolf wife," she lamented as she eyed her amazing work.

Troy gave her a confused look. "I think you got your pop cultures mixed up there."

"Go easy on me jerkwad, I'm learning!"

"Are you okay? You seem bitter?"

"Why am I so good at this? This isn't me! Why must marriage be inevitable?" She stomped her foot in anger. "God I am going to make some man very happy someday."

"On the upside, you did a really nice job with this wedding on short notice. I think you would make a man happy someday," this didn't really help because Britta walked away. "Why can't I ever say anything that doesn't make people angry?"

…

All in all, it was a lovely wedding. Abed and Troy were groomsmen, Britta was the maid of honor (even though she was against it), Pelton wouldn't stop crying about his "loss", Chang was on his best behavior, and even Duncan attended with Felicia. And Shirley was the one who proudly escorted Annie down the homemade aisle (and bought her a beautiful off-white color wedding dress). There was nothing much to it after that with the exception of clichéd vows and an audience that cheered with excitement when it came time for Jeff to kiss the bride (well, except for one sobbing mess of a man).

"Hey," Jeff quietly spoke to Annie after they were done kissing, "whaddya say you and I get out of here?"

Annie gave him a funny look. "Isn't that a little rude to our guests?"

"We'll be back- it is our house after all."

"But Jeff…"

"I just thought we could go for a ride," Jeff whistled. "ROMBO!" A decorated broom with the displaying sign 'Just Married' around it flew into Jeff's grasp. "A little something I learned from Abed." Jeff escorted her onto the broom. "Milady."

"Milord."

Jeff climbed on after her and the broom slowly started to rise. Surprising to say no one seemed mad. In fact, everyone gathered around waving goodbye. Before officially flying off, Annie tossed the bouquet.

And who should catch it but…Abed. "Cool. Cool, cool, cool."

Jeff and Annie waved to the crowd as the broom started to take off. Once it got higher and picked up speed, Jeff tightly grasped Annie's hand.

"Tell me Winger; is this your first time flying?" Annie sarcastically asked.

"Don't be cruel," he replied back. "I wasn't going to do this without you."

"You didn't have to do this if you didn't want to."

"Well I wanted to do something nice for you that came sincerely from my heart and was relatively cheap."

"It's a very nice gesture."

"I prefer car travel."

"I'm not going to force you to try things I like if they're scary for you."

"Why does everyone think I'm afraid of heights?"

"Besides," Annie curled up to her husband, "I should probably cut down on broom riding."

"Oh yeah? Why's that?"

"I don't think it's necessarily a safe idea in my condition."

"Since when is broom riding not safe for you?"

"I didn't say it wasn't safe for me."

"Yeah, but you said…" it dawned on Jeff. He instantly locked eyes with his wife. Her response was a lighthearted laugh and an excited nod. Jeff put his hands around her waist, and leaned in for a lingering kiss as they flew off into the sunset.

…

While everyone was inside, Troy and Abed remained outside laying on the grass and looking at the sky. "It must be cool marrying a witch," Troy commented. "Now that he married a witch he'll basically get to live out the show _Bewitched_."

"Personally, I wouldn't want to live out the _Bewitched _fantasy," Abed inputted. "If my life were to be like a TV show, I'd want it to be like _Inspector Spacetime_…or _Cougar Town_. How about you?"

"I dunno, there are so many choices."

"What's say you and I pay a little visit to the Dreamatorium and travel to TVLand."

"I say stop reading my mind."

For some reason, they each shared a laugh before standing up and sing-songing, "Troy and Abed to TVLand."

* * *

**Oh come on, it would be too obvious to end with Jeff and Annie. Any good episode of **_**Community **_**usually ends with Troy and Abed anyway. And I suppose killing off Pierce is a subtle reference to Chevy Chase leaving _Community_ at the end of the season.**

**But this isn't officially the end. Like I said, I wanted to end on either an even numbered chapter or a chapter divisible by 5. I had 2 endings in mind but I'm not so sure if I want to post the second one because as Brian Griffin would say, "It's like a big middle finger to the audience". Plus it would be short.**

**So…at least there will be one more chapter that may have a similarity to the ending of **_**I Married a Witch**_**.**


	14. Epilogue

**Yeah, I'm gonna end at chapter 15. Honestly, I think I prefer short alternate ending #2 for my own potential reasons. I did say I based this fic off of a movie and the ending did feature the witch living a mortal life with her husband and 3 children; 2 boys and a daughter who has a fondness for riding brooms. Plus I've done some obvious references to **_**Bewitched**_** (rekindling an appreciation for the classic sitcom in the process) and in that show the witch and her husband had a daughter and son both of whom were magic.**

**I don't know if you've guessed by this point, but this chapter features a Jeff/Annie kid. I mean I definitely implied in the last chapter Annie was pregnant- personally, I'm not a fan of characters in sitcoms directly saying "I'm pregnant" (unless the reactions are creative and unique) I prefer other clever methods or sayings. So it's only fitting that the next chapter features on their married life with a kid.**

**And appearances from the other characters of course.**

**Yeah, this chapter is so lovingly inspired by/partially ripped-off from the first 2 episodes of season 3 of **_**Bewitched **_**where Tabitha gets her powers. Please enjoy.**

* * *

"It's been a while," Duncan said as he invited Jeff to sit down on his couch. "I assumed you wouldn't be needing a therapist anymore."

"Honestly," Jeff made himself comfortable, "I don't."

"Ah." Duncan went for the chair beside the couch, but that was already occupied. "Felicia, Darling, Daddy needs the chair." The cat just made herself more comfortable. "Why you lazy little trollop," Felicia laid on her side and purred. With an annoyed sigh, Duncan went into the kitchen for another chair. "So Jeffrey, why are you coming to me if you don't need a therapist?"

"I just want to talk to someone human."

"And you're not going to Troy or Abed?"

"Someone somewhat close to normal."

Duncan set the chair across from Jeff. "I see. I should be flattered that I'm the closest thing to a normal human being in your life but I'm not." He grabbed a notepad and pencil before sitting down. "Start from where you feel best."

"This is not a therapy session."

"Oh trust me Jeffrey, it is. The only difference is I'm not charging you- even though I should. Now please proceed."

"Well, there've been no problems for the first year and a half. I guess you can say everything was normal."

"Until when?"

"Until today."

"What happened?"

"_It_ happened."

Duncan gasped. "No?"

"And I was the last to know."

"Technically you knew this before me so…" Jeff glared at him, "…right, sorry the last amongst your group. Continue with your story."

"Today started out normally…"

**…..**

_Earlier that Day…_

Annie did her best to mimic airplane noises as she brought the spoon of Cheerios closer to the eighteen month old's mouth. Without putting up an argument, the infant ate the cereal, earning a gasp of delight from her mother. "That's Mommy's girl." The child made some sort of noise. "That's right, num num."

As Annie prepared to feed the baby again, her husband made her way downstairs. "I don't want to go to work today."

"You say that every day Jeff."

"Yeah, but this is the first time I'm actually gonna miss a doctor's appointment."

"It's only a checkup and the doctor's going to confirm the obvious. Jeff, you know Lilly is in perfect health."

"Still, I've never missed anything for her before."

"And you're not going to miss anything today, I promise."

"Who's giving you a ride to the doctor's?"

"Abed."

"Just so long as it's not Britta."

"Oh yes, I would trust the worst driver in the world to drive me and our baby to the pediatrician. You know I'd rather put Lilly on a broom than have her ride in a car with Britta behind the wheel."

"Just call me the second it's over, okay?"

"Keep this worrying up and you'll need a checkup more than her. Look at her Jeff, doesn't she look fine?"

Jeff lowered himself to Lilly's level. "I don't know if anyone's told you this but you are the best looking kid in the world."

Lilly waved at him. "Dah!"

"Oh, you already knew that?" This remark made Annie laugh a little. "Smart kid too. God Annie, I don't know why you're so freaked out about a checkup." That remark made Annie roll her eyes. "I still want you to call me though."

Annie saluted him. "Sir, yes sir."

"Alright I gotta go," Jeff kissed his wife. "Love you."

"Love you too."

"And I love you," Jeff blew a raspberry on his daughter's cheek, making the infant laugh uncontrollably. "Don't give your mom any grief and don't commit any felonies." Lilly responded by sticking her tongue out at him. "Your daughter's inherited your formidable attitude sweetheart."

"Oh, go to work."

"Bossy today aren't we? I'll see you later."

"Bye!" Annie turned to Lilly. "Say bye-bye Daddy. Can you say that?"

Lilly turned a little and waved. "Buh-bye Daddy."

"Good girl."

…

Abed knocked on the door. "Is it cool if I come in?"

"Come in Abed," Annie assured him as she finished waving a plush Fluttershy pony in front of her daughter.

Abed entered the room. "I saw the doctor behind the desk. I didn't want to keep waiting out there with sick children so I thought I'd wait with you."

"Not all of them are sick," Annie looked at Lilly and smiled. "Lilly isn't."

"I know, and so does everyone else," Abed picked the baby up. "I know it might seem biased, but this is the coolest baby ever."

"Lilly, can you say 'thank you Uncle Abed'?" Lilly responded in what seemed like gibberish. "Close enough."

The doctor re-entered the room. "Hello all," she handed Annie a copy of the bill. "Just came by to give you that and say goodbye."

"Actually Dr. I was wondering if you could do me a favor," Annie requested.

"What?"

"Jeff wants me to call him for a detailed report but I figured-"

"Say no more, I'll talk to him."

"Thank you," Annie set the toy on the table and reached for her cell phone in her purse (being in public the use of her mini crystal ball would be taboo) and called Jeff, whose number was one on speed dial. "Hello Jeff…yes, Jeff…I figured you might not believe me so I'll let the doctor tell you," she handed her phone to the doctor.

"Hello Mr. Winger…no, there's absolutely nothing wrong," Annie and Abed watched the doctor as Lilly turned her attention to the Fluttershy plushie on the table. Wiggling her fingers at it, the pony began to levitate and slowly fly over toward her. This caught Abed's attention and he then let out a small nervous squeak to get Annie's attention. When the literal flying Pegasus caught Annie's attention, she stood there mouth agape in shock. And thankfully Annie managed to snatch the toy before the doctor could completely turn around to see. "There's nothing to worry about Mr. Winger, I assure you Lilly is a perfectly, normal little girl."

And that was when Annie and Abed exchanged nervous glances.

…

When they got back to the Winger house, they decided to put Lilly to the test. "Lilly, I hope this is the only test you ever flunk," Annie took the pony from Lilly's crib and put it on Lilly's dresser.

"Don't you want her to be a witch?" Abed inquired. "Personally, I think that'd be kinda cool."

"I don't care if she's magic or mortal, but I know one person who most definitely doesn't want her to be a witch."

"You don't know that for sure."

"Abed, you know how Jeff felt when he learned that he married a witch. It took him a long time to get used to what I can do, let alone get used to Shirley and Britta. But we're mature witches; we can control our magic and use it voluntarily. When a witch or warlock first gets their powers, they're very hard to manage and are often involuntary. If Lilly wants something, she's most assuredly gonna use magic to get it."

"We still have to test her first," Abed reminded. "I'll be your witness."

"Okay," Annie stood in between Lilly's crib and the dresser. "Lilly, can you get the pretty pony?"

"Pretty pony!" Lilly waved at the pony, but nothing else happened.

Annie giggled. "See that Abed, she can't get the pretty pony." Lilly wiggled her fingers, and the Fluttershy toy flew to her. All Annie could do was stand there speechless.

Abed, however, seemed impressed (although it was hard to tell sometimes). "I think she got the pretty pony."

"Oh my God!" Annie took the pony from Lilly. "How am I going to explain this to Jeff? When should I explain this to Jeff? Abed-"

"No, I'll let you tell him on your own time. But you should tell him before Shirley and Britta find out."

"I should, shouldn't I?"

"Which reminds me: Britta told me she and Shirley were popping in for a visit."

"When?"

And cue the appearance of the other two witches. "Now," Abed nonchalantly remarked as Annie threw the pony aside. "Hey Shirley. Hey Britta."

"Annie, how come you didn't let us know how everything went at the pediatrician's?" Shirley asked with concern.

Britta was more offended. "We are her aunts after all and we see her every day. I think we have every right to share in little milestones and events."

"Guys, it was a plain old, every day, mortal checkup," Annie clapped her hands together. "I can assure you nothing special happened."

"Pretty pony!" Lilly wiggled her finger at the toy and it flew over to her while Britta and Shirley watched with wide eyes.

Annie nervously laughed. "See, nothing special."

"Now I know I didn't fly that Pegasus," Shirley turned to Britta. "Britta?"

Britta held her hands up as if she was defending herself. "Don't look at me- I would've given her the teddy bear."

"Plus, I would have heard you snap your fingers."

"I don't think Annie did it because she was holding her hands together." Britta smiled. "Shirley, I think we have another witch in the family."

Shirley laughed with delight. "Oh that's nice."

Britta narrowed her eyes at Annie. "And Jeff doesn't know about this, does he?"

Annie sighed in defeat. "No, Jeff does not know about this."

"I volunteer to tell him."

"Oh, no you won't. I can't trust you alone with Jeff since that one time you made him pregnant."

"For the last time he only had pregnancy symptoms and I did it to teach him a lesson."

"That was funny," Abed didn't show emotion as he remembered that incident.

"And I have since then apologized to him."

"I don't want you to tell him," Annie quickly pointed to Shirley before Shirley got the chance to speak, "Shirley, you don't tell him either. This is a very delicate matter and I'm going to have to prepare Jeff for this before I tell him that Lilly's...special. But no matter what, I'm going to be the one to tell my husband." Annie's phone rang.

"Speak of the devil?"

"No, it's someone else," Annie excused herself and stepped out of the room to have a conversation.

"Well, I for one am proud of Lilly. I can't stand being completely mortal and I didn't want the same thing to happen to her."

"Well," Shirley began as she fidgeted, "while I am pleased that my beautiful little half-witch niece will possess magical powers like her mother, I have to respect Jeff's opinion on this matter and think of how this could affect him and other mortals."

"What say so does Jeff have in any of this?"

"He is the baby's father."

"So?"

"Abed," Annie entered the room, "I accidentally left my organizer at the pediatrician's. Can you drive me back there?"

"Sure," Abed stepped out of the room, "it's not like I have anything better to do."

"Can one of you stay here with Lilly for a few minutes?"

"Oh I'd love to but I have a meeting to go to," Shirley declined. "Dean Pelton was nice enough to offer me the open space at the community college cafeteria and I need to sign some contracts so that I can open my sandwich shop."

"Congratulations, Shirley."

"Yes, it's exciting. I'll see you all later," Shirley disappeared.

"Britta?"

Britta shrugged. "Sure, why not."

"Thank you. And please, don't use magic around my daughter. She's at an impressionable age and being exposed to magic-"

"Okay, okay, I got it, no magic!"

"Thank you Britta," Annie turned to her daughter. "Mommy will be right back," she gave Lilly a kiss and hurried after Abed.

Britta picked Lilly up. "Come on Lilly. Let's get out of this pink nightmare you call your bedroom." She carried the baby downstairs and set her in the already prepared playpen. Britta then made sure that the coast was clear. "What Mommy doesn't know won't hurt her. Auntie Britta wants to see what you can do. Let's start with something easy," Britta noticed the lamp, snapped her fingers, suspended the lamp midair, and then flipped it upside down. "Can you fix that for Auntie Britta?" Lilly just stared at Britta. "Actually, that might be too heavy for you," Britta snapped her fingers and the lamp was back in its place. "How about…" she looked at the coffee table and saw a coaster. "how about that," Britta snapped her fingers and the coaster did the same thing that the lamp did.

But before anything could be accomplished, Jeff came in through. "Hey Annie!"

"Crap," Britta quickly snapped her fingers and fixed everything before Jeff came into the living room. "Hello Jeff."

"Hello Britta, how are you corrupting my child today?"

Britta sneered at him. "What are you doing home?"

"It's my lunch break; I thought I'd treat my family to lunch. Where's my wife?"

"She left something at the pediatrician's. Abed drove her back so that she could get it."

"Okay then, I'll spend my break with my perfectly, normal little girl."

"But it's your lunch break," Britta snapped her fingers and made a plate of food appear, "I'll spend time with your perfectly normal little girl; you should eat lunch- it is the purpose of a lunch break after all."

"Hey Britta, I know how you don't like to listen to people so could you constantly use magic in front of my daughter?"

"And they call me the buzzkill? Jeff, I don't know what to do with kids that doesn't require magic."

"Just keep them entertained. Wave a toy in their face or something."

"What like that stupid girly pony?"

Lilly squealed with delight. "Pretty pony!"

"That stupid girly pony happens to be her favorite toy," Jeff focused his attention from Britta to Lilly. "You love that pretty pony don't you?"

"Pretty pony!"

"Do you want Daddy to go get the pony?"

"Pretty pony!" Lilly wiggled her fingers, and the pretty pony in question came flying down the stairs and into Lilly's arms.

"See," Britta seemed pleased, "now Daddy doesn't have to get the pretty pony."

"Britta what the f—heck?" Jeff remembered to watch his language.

"You think I did that?"

"I know you did that!"

"Well for your information…" Britta calmed herself before she said the wrong thing, "…I did. I can't fool you Jeff Winger."

Jeff lowered himself to his daughter's level. "You know Lilly you're the only person I know who can say without malice that their Aunt's a real witch."

"Why don't you take Annie out for lunch? I'll stay here with Lilly."

"Alone?"

"Fine," Britta snapped her fingers and Troy appeared in the room listening to his i-Pod with his eyes closed and humming _Daybreak. _"Troy can help me babysit."

When Troy opened his eyes, they went wide in embarrassing fear. "Britta, stop doing that!"

"Why? You're dressed this time."

"Do I want to know?" Jeff asked.

"No," Troy shyly responded.

"Whatever. No magic and no making out in front of my kid." Jeff took Lilly in his arms. "You can give them as much grief as you like sweetheart. Can you give Daddy a kiss?" Lilly gave her father a small kiss. "I love you too." He passed Lilly to Troy. "Get her some lunch or something okay."

"Sure thing Mr. Mom," Troy carried his niece into the kitchen as Britta and Jeff exchanged rotten looks at each other before Jeff left.

"Ugh, I hate looking at his face sometimes!" Britta bemoaned as she came into the kitchen. "I am so glad Lilly looks like her mother."

Troy looked at Lilly as he prepared her lunch. "I dunno, I think she has Jeff's nose."

"Thank God she doesn't have his forehead."

"Forehead? Might as well call that thing a fivehead," Troy laughed at his stupid joke as he set Lilly's lunch on her high chair tray.

"Shut up and kiss me."

"But Jeff said-"

Britta shut Troy up by aggressively putting his lips to his. "Be rebellious; break some rules." She pushed everything off of the table and laid on top of it. "Jeff and Annie kiss in front of her all the time; it's not a big deal. We're keeping our clothes on after all"

"What if we break the table?"

"I'll fix it again, they'll never notice." Troy shrugged and proceeded to make out with his girlfriend.

Lilly, meanwhile, wasn't in the mood to eat. She searched for her favorite toy, but couldn't find it. "Pretty pony!"

"No, Lilly! No pony. Eat your lunch." Lilly blew spit bubbles at Britta. "Fine, I'll get you your pony. Troy, could you…" Troy got himself off of Britta long enough for her to snap her fingers and bring the pony to the high chair. "There."

Lilly threw her pony at Troy and Britta. Troy sighed. "I don't think she wants us to do this."

"Maybe not in front of her."

"Britta the point of watching the baby is to actually watch the baby."

"There's not much to watch when she's taking a nap."

"She's not tired."

"She usually is after lunch."

"Pretty pony!" Lilly wiggled her fingers and the power flew over to her.

Naturally, this was how Troy learned Lilly was a witch. "Britta?"

"Oh, don't be so shocked Troy," Britta told him. "Lilly is a witch."

"Oh good, so I'm not losing my mind. Wait, she's a witch?" Britta nodded. "That's so frawesome! Wait until-"

"Abed already knows."

"Dang. I never get to tell him anything anymore."

"The only one who doesn't know is Jeff and for some reason Annie wants to be the one to tell him."

"How do you think Jeff's gonna handle it?"

"I dunno. He seemed to get used to his wife being a witch pretty quickly so maybe it'll be the same for his kid."

"Yeah, but Annie hardly uses magic around here. Shirley doesn't use it that much either, but you on the other hand…"

"Witchcraft is a hard habit to break! It's hard not to use it even in front of Jeff. I can't understand why Jeff can't embrace witchcraft so easily."

"Maybe because he wasn't raised magic, he never believed in magic, and last I checked he wasn't magic."

"That's no excuse." They were distracted by yawning. "See, what'd I tell you? Lilly is always tired after lunch. I'll put her to bed and then we can finish what we started."

"Actually, I'm kinda hungry. Can I start on some lunch?"

"There's a plate of food in the living room, eat that."

"You want me to eat the plate?"

"Oh ha, ha."

"I don't get it, why are you laughing? Do you really want me to eat the plate? Is it made of sugar or something?"

…

"You seem kinda quiet," Jeff noticed as he drove Annie home from lunch.

"Do I?" Annie faked a laugh. "I guess I haven't noticed."

"Something bothering you?" Annie didn't say anything. "Let me rephrase the question; what's bothering you that you're not telling me about?"

"Oh, I can't lie to you Jeff. Yes, there is something bothering me. Something very important that I have to tell you."

"What, are you pregnant?"

"No."

"Did someone die?"

"No."

"Does it concern Lilly?"

"Well…yes."

"What? What's wrong with her?"

"Nothing's wrong with her. You know if something was wrong with Lilly you'd be the first person I'd tell."

"So whatever this is that's bothering you concerns our daughter. What? Is Pierce or some other freaky magic person seeking vengeance?"

"No, you stopped Pierce once and for all. What I have to tell you, I have to tell you alone…"

"We are alone."

"…and you're preferably sitting down..."

"I am preferably sitting down."

"…and won't destroy anything."

"Annie, you're really starting to freak me out."

"I'll tell you once we get home and get rid of Troy and Britta."

"We are home."

Annie looked around and noticed they were in their driveway. "Oh, I guess we are."

"I'll get rid of Mrs. and Mrs. Perry," Jeff exited the vehicle and went inside to discover Troy and Britta making out on his couch. "How many times am I going to have to disinfect this couch?" this got them to stop. "I thought I told you no making out."

"No, you said no making out in front of Lilly," Britta had the lawyer there.

"Okay now I say go make out in your own apartment."

"What's the magic word?"

"Now."

"Sheesh, someone's a Mr. Cranky Pants today." Britta grabbed Troy's arm. "Come on; let's go do something that won't get Jeff's panties in a bunch." Troy laughed at that remark as he was being led out the open door past Annie.

"Okay Annie," Jeff was about to sit on the couch, but stopped himself and sat in his chair, "for starters Troy and his non-boyfriend were making out on our couch so you probably shouldn't sit there."

Annie sat on the couch anyway. "It was just making out."

"Still gross. Ignoring what Brittaman and the Troy Wonder just did on our couch; I think you can tell me…" Jeff was distracted by a cooking pot flying from the kitchen, through the living room, and upstairs. "What just happened?"

Annie turned around. "What? I don't see anything."

"I could've swore I saw…" this time, a stirring spoon was flying upstairs. And this time, Annie noticed.

"Be right back!" Annie bolted off the couch trying to catch the spoon. Alas, she could not reach it in time and the spoon flew into her daughter's grasp. Lilly then used the spoon to bang it against the pot and make music. "Sweetie no!" Annie snatched the pot and spoon from her. "Where's your pretty pony? Play with the pretty pony."

"Pretty pony!" Lilly wiggled her fingers.

Annie looked around the room. "Is the pony in here?" Her question was answered when she saw the flying Pegasus plushie, and Jeff enter the room.

Jeff watched with wide eyes as the pony doll flew into his daughter's waiting hands. "Annie?"

Annie bit her lip in nervousness as Lilly waved to Jeff. "Hi, Daddy."

Standing there shocked, Jeff managed to give his daughter a wave back. "Annie, did you…" Annie shook her head no. "Did Britta…" another head shake no. "Shirley?" Jeff got the same response. Jeff's laugh was on the verge of hysterics. "It wasn't…" Annie nervously nodded. "No."

"Surprise," this was all Annie could say.

"What the…how the…but…Annie, she's just a baby it's not possible."

"Jeff, you always knew this was a possibility."

"Yeah but it's been a year and a half and there have been no warning signs or anything. Did this all happen today?"

"Yes, and I was waiting for a decent time to tell you but…but I guess Lilly wanted to tell you herself. I don't think she knows what she's doing or that she's…not supposed to do it." Jeff felt himself go weak-kneed, so he sat down. "Oh Jeff, say something please."

"My daughter's a witch," Jeff tried to find the words to say. "So I guess that wasn't Britta who brought the toy downstairs." Jeff let out a groan of ire. "Britta knows doesn't she?"

"Yes."

"Who else knows?"

"Well, Abed was the first to see her use magic, and then Britta and Shirley popped in and witnessed it, and I'm sure Britta's told Troy so…"

"So I'm the last one to know that my own daughter is a witch?"

"You weren't supposed to be, honest." Jeff didn't say anything. "I knew this would come as a shock to you so if you need some time alone, I understand."

"I…I need some air. I'll be back later."

"I love you!" the only response she got was the door slamming.

"Buh-bye Daddy!" Lilly waved to the doorway.

Annie looked at Lilly. "Must you always be the center of attention?"

**…..**

_Present Time_

"Jeffrey," Duncan began, "you knew when Annie was pregnant there was a high possibility the baby would be born magical."

"I figured they'd get their magic right away or at an older age," Jeff confessed. "But after a year and a half of nothing happening…well, you build up a false sense of security."

"Do you want my opinion?"

"No, but you're going to tell me anyway."

"I don't think it should matter. You love Annie and Lilly don't you?"

"Yeah, more than anything."

"And you accepted Annie for who she was didn't you?"

"Yeah, but it was different with Annie."

"How so?"

"For one thing Annie already was a witch."

"But you got over that didn't you?"

"I got used to it, but I doubt I'll ever get over it."

"Are you jealous your wife and daughter are magic?"

"No."

"Then why are you here? Jeffrey, you have a beautiful child with a rare and special talent and you love that child regardless. Help embrace her talent and teach her to use it properly. And don't come to me with family problems again unless you're willing to pay. Now if you could kindly get out of my house, I have things I'd like to do."

"Like?"

"Like none of your business get out of my house." Duncan pushed Jeff out of his house. "Felicia, Darling, bath time!" Duncan called through closed doors.

Jeff crinkled his nose in disgust. "I don't think I want to know."

…

Annie was on the living room floor with Lilly playing with stuffed animals when Jeff came back. "Jeff."

"Annie," he got on the floor beside her.

"How was your walk?"

"Fine," then came the awkward silence. "It uh…it gave me some time to think."

"Did it?"

"And I realized that I was a selfish idiot."

"Oh?"

"I love you more than anything and I've come to terms with and accepted who you, and even who your friends are. It should have been no different with our daughter. But I guess I was too much in shock to come to that conclusion earlier."

"Jeff, I knew this time it would be a bit harder. I was already using witchcraft long before I met you and I knew what to do; but I knew what would happen if our baby was magic and everything would be new to you and new things can be scary."

"A part of me knew that Lilly might be a witch, but I thought it would take some time before we found out preferably together."

"Yeah, I'm sorry you had to be the last to know."

"Yeah, well, I can forgive you that. Nothing's ever usual with us so I think I actually would've been more weirded out with a regular conversation."

"So you don't mind that Lilly's a witch?"

"To quote a mediocre television show that my mother made me watch: 'it's been wonderful living with one beautiful witch, and it'll be twice as wonderful living with two'."

"You really mean that?" Annie's answer was confirmed when Jeff pressed his lips to hers.

The sound of a squealing child brought the kissing to the end. "Lilly, I love you but you can be a real mood killer."

Lilly wiggled her fingers, "Rombo." A small broom flew over to the infant and landed beside her.

"Annie, did our daughter just…"

Annie was also stunned. "I don't think she even knew what she was saying."

"Are you sure she's never heard that before?"

"No," Jeff could tell Annie was lying and raised his eyebrow to her. "Okay, so maybe I conjured a broom once but only to sweep up broken glass. I never thought she would remember that."

"We've got one smart kid there."

"We sure do."

"And she's got one hell of a mother."

"Jeff, don't swear around her!" Jeff went back kissing her. "I think I'll let it slide this once." Annie succumbed to his passionate embrace as a bored Lilly wiggled her fingers and a teddy bear flew into her waiting hands.

…

"I don't see how we could be like _FRIENDS_," Abed responded to Troy's comment as they sat in their chairs, ate their dinner, and watched TV.

"Think about it; Jeff and Annie are totally Ross and Rachel, Britta and I are like Monica and Chandler, you're like Joey, and that leaves Shirley as Phoebe. Except we're all like us you know and not those characters." Abed just stared at him. "Okay, it's the best I can come up with," Troy sighed, "It sucks that there'll never be a TV starring people exactly like us."

"There might be, but no one would watch it because it would be a sophisticated comedy that can also have believable moments be they relatively normal or emotional."

"Yeah, but it'd get cancelled after a few episodes."

Abed shrugged and ate his buttered noodles. "I'd watch that show though, even if it's time slot was never consistent or if it aired on NBC."

Troy shuddered at the mention of that network. "The last good show that network had was _30 Rock_."

"I think they should remake classic shows with modern updates."

"They do, and they often suck."

"How about we watch a movie instead?"

"_Kickpuncher_?"

"You're like a Middle Eastern Magic 8-Ball or something."

Abed put in the DVD, sat back in his seat, and joined Troy in a chorus of, "Troy and Abed watch _Kickpuncher_."

* * *

**I'm my own worst critic and I really feel like this is a weak chapter. Like I said, the movie ending was no help and I had no idea how to make a complete epilogue with what I had to work with so I had to call on the forces of television. Honestly, this was more of a television themed episode than I realized, I hope no one minds. I mean other than **_**Bewitched**_** I managed to squeeze in **_**FRIENDS, 30 Rock**_** (which Donald Glover wrote for by the way), a small dose of _Batman_, and even **_**Community**_** itself. Oh, and **_**My Little Pony**_**: **_**Friendship is Magic**_**- don't judge me it's a very sophisticated cartoon that I happen to enjoy (and oddly enough so does my 23 year old college graduate male cousin). I hope this chapter wasn't too bad but compared to others it's pretty weak.**

**One more (short) alternate ending to go and then we can call this quits.**


	15. Metalternate Ending

**Here's the alternate ending/final chapter. **

**Warning, this is very, very short and could be considered a big middle finger to the audience.**

**You have been warned.**

* * *

"It's done," Abed whispered to himself as he posted something to his blog.

"That thing you've been writing for the past few weeks is finally done?" Troy asked with excitement.

"I'm still confused," their roommate admitted. "What were you writing anyway? Was it an assignment for our history class?"

"I was writing fanfiction," Abed casually answered. "I took the premise of a classic movie, modernized it, and put all of us in at as different characters. I called it _He Married a Witch_. It's loosely based on the 1942 movie with Veronica Lake but it also has elements from the TV sitcom _Bewitched_, particularly in the last chapter. Annie, you were the witch."

Annie was slightly creeped out by the thought of her being used in a story as if she was a fictional character. "Yeah, but isn't fanfiction fiction written by fans of actual shows or movies?"

"Don't stifle my creativity, I'm proud of this," Abed looked at his work. "I'm thinking of doing a series. Taking us and various people we know from our adventures at Greendale Community College and altering it so that we're in a different world but we're still our own characters."

"Is that really a good idea?"

"I'm sure Britta would think it is," Troy remarked. "She'd probably think it's a good thing to do psychology wise."

"The next one I had in mind would involve each of us telling different fairy tales with us as different fairy tale characters."

Troy tried to piece together what Abed said. "So you'd write a fic about you telling us a fairy tale with us as the fairy tale characters."

Abed nodded. "I love potential what-ifs episodes, fantasy episodes, and episodes where established characters are used in a flashback sequence. It'd be fun to do that in fanfic form. I also think we should have something Rashomon related at Greendale."

"Rashomon?"

"You know, when something happens and you get different accounts of the story from the witnesses and each of the stories would have something in common."

"Blame game episodes."

"Usually."

"Okay, I'm uncomfortable with the thought of being used in fanfiction when I'm clearly not a television character," Annie grabbed her backpack and headed out the door.

"I think it's cool," Troy sided with his buddy. "Hey, can I suggest some movies or TV shows."

"Sure," Abed answered. "In fact, I'm open to suggestions from anyone. I'll carefully consider them, see if they're doable, but I'll also try working on my own ideas."

"That sounds so freakishly awesome. It sounds…"

"Frawesome," Abed said this with Troy.

"Did we just coin a new phrase?"

"We already coined this phrase in my fanfic."

"Oh."

* * *

**Yes, everything you read was a lie. It was all from the mind of Abed. I also feel like I ripped off _Inception_ but I never can tell, that movie is confusing.**

**But there is more to this than you think. I do want to contribute more to this fandom. That fairy tale and Rashomon idea are things I would seriously consider doing if I take the time and plan them carefully. But like Abed, I'm open to suggestions- though I would have to carefully consider them and see if they're doable.**

**So this ending isn't a complete middle finger and who knows, it just might be the start to something. If not…then it's just a random alternate ending.**

**Anywho, I hope you enjoyed this. And if you do want me to continue then I must have done something to warp you readers' fragile little minds.**

**Thanks for reading. Peace out!**


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